P.M., rush back home
Grab snacks, unplug my phone
Knees tucked, rouge wiped, wait around

My mom says I’m so deceived
And daddy thinks I’m vapid
Nights, though, my lights gleam on
My heartbeat’s goin’ rapid
Yeah, yeah

'Cause he’s online
Typin’ smugly
E-mail hugs me
He’s online
I squeal in passion
LOL’s and hearts and laughter nightly
He’s online
Cyber loves me

First asks, am I thirteen
Wants Skype to spy from screens
He’s bought a rush deliv’ry ring

Doubt he’s a Dateline creep
Not this clever talker
Please worry less, caution’s cheap -
I’d know if he’s a stalker

'Cause he’s online
Grammar stumbling -
Lyk, how humbling!
He’s online
He’s lean in stature
Tall and dark (or so he types it)
Speak all night
Cyber-snuggling

He sends his pics to me:
Unease at geriatr’y
Oh crud, his head is bald, revealed

He’s gone now, he says don’t leave
He says he sees my mattress
Worried, ‘cause I’m alone
Damn, why’d I send my address?
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

Now he’s offline
Cries, “I’m lusting!”
Oh, disgusting!
He’s outside
His mug shot captured
Homely, artless, rather fright’ning
Police lights…

Why’d he block me?