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Song Parodies -> "All I Wanna Do Is Eat A Ton"

Original Song Title:

"All I Wanna Do"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sheryl Crow

Parody Song Title:

"All I Wanna Do Is Eat A Ton"

Parody Written by:

Paul Wooten

The Lyrics

Third installment in my fat trilogy, after SUPPERTIME and ONLY A SUMO. I'm gonna stop these, right after I stop eatin' :-)
Eat it!
This ain't no deli
It ain't no country diner either
This is buffet!

All I wanna do is eat about a ton before I die
Said the blimp next to me at the buffet
He's a hippo or something
He says his name's Goodyear and I'm sure
He's full of chili and Mac's and pudding
And he's plain monstrous to me
And I wonder if he's had a ton of food just this morning
He's guzzling chow with a shovel on Tuesday
He prob'ly bathes in a giant car wash
The smart people in the room are guarding their trays
On their lunch break, dosing and salting
As best they can, knowing the blimp
Eyes their trays with hunger, and looks
Back at the lone "waitre' d", a hungry stare, too
Well, they're not gonna like Goodyear and me,
'CAUSE

All we want to do, is eat a ton
I got a feelin' it'll be more than one
All we want to do, is eat a ton
I got a feelin' it'll be more than one
All we want to do, is eat a ton
Until the food runs out in the buffet line down at the "CATTLE YARD"

I had to stand clear 'cuzz clearly without warning
Old Goodyear hikes to squeal a long one
From his waddle of butt
He cuts one from afar
Then we light every match in a counter attack
Hoping each one helps out, but the smell lingers
We're all retching and cursing him out
And we're dodging that waddle of butt, he leaves dents in the floor
And a woozy couple faints at the door
Dangerously close to his food tray
The cook quits, and walks out with some want ads
'CAUSE

All we wanna do, is eat a ton
I got a feeling' it'll be more than one
All we wanna do, is eat a ton
I got a feeling, it'll be more than one
All we wanna do, is eat a ton
Until the food runs out on the buffet line down at the "CATTLE GUARD"

The next night the buffet is ours
The trays and the forks and the soup pots too
The nachos and the spuds and the beans and the sneeze guards
The ton's in the chewin'
'Cause

All we wanna do, is eat a ton
I got a feelin' it'll be more than one
All we wanna do, is eat a ton
I got a feelin' it'll be more than one
All we wanna do, is eat a ton
Until the food runs out on the buffet line down at the "CATTLE GUARD"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 1
 
 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Mari D - February 27, 2004 - Report this comment
You must have been hanging out at Hometown Buffet!
Paul Wooten - February 27, 2004 - Report this comment
My picture is on the wall of several, inside a circle with a line through it! LOL Thanks Mari
Chris - February 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job on the parody! I read your parody, now how bout you read mine? "Come On Over" to the Shania Twain section and "Check It Out"
Randy M - March 02, 2004 - Report this comment
I.m fat too, and go to buffets. This sounds like me. Good parody

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