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Song Parodies -> "Douche"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Santana and Rob Thomas

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

You want us to gawk
Although you’re forty you have a faux-hawk
I see you flashing your six pack like you’re a hunk
But you’re far from cool
You sport a spray tan
And wear more jewels than a gay man
You should be beaten you cretin
Want ladies to drool

You like to wear sunglasses at the club
Try to hit on girls with collar popped
Keep creating strife for everyone ‘round you
Because you’re a douche

And you have a devotion to that guy Dane Cook
No more than third grade education never read a book
You shop at Abercrombie and reek of perfume (Yeah)
Wear that t-shirt extra snug
Because you’re such a dimwit

You flash a peace sign
And pose with ladies thinking you “got game”
You’ll hit the gym and then the bar
Hearing you claim: “Babes check me out”
Don’t look like Fabio
That sagging face looks just like pastry dough
You’re drinking beer until you hurl
Out with your bros
Chugging them down and down…

You make your band so hyped since you made bucks
Cover John Mayer although he sucks
So you’ll hear me gripe and put your tape on mute
Cause you’re a douche

Think shopping at Hot Topic makes you hardcore
But you’re the same as all the douchebags on the “Jersey Shore”
You quote: “My name’s McLovin” straight from “Superbad” (Yeah)
Check out your “guns” in the mirror
Although your arms are flabby

Dude, You think you’re Hulk Hogan while you lift weights
And you display all your Trojans to help you get laid
You’re addicted to Facebook and to that Myspace (Yeah)
Status updates just appeal
To other douche idiots

(Go spray Axe on your armpits)
(Why don’t you leave the closet?)
(The knees on your jeans are split)
(Order salad as a meal)
(I hope someday you get hit)
(Posters on walls of nude chicks)
(You’re such a douche, You know it!)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   0
 3   3
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Trenchant and funny social commentary.
Mark Scotti - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Fugetaboutit....dat was funny!!!
Tommy Turtle - September 17, 2010 - Report this comment
Good reading for a Summer's Eve. even though you poured a lot of vinegar on that poor guy.

Was expecting song to be about a ♀ , and thought the derogatory term toward males was "-bag". Guess it's become shortened like everything else these days.
  Oh, well, still a funny one. Strawberry-scented Fives, and when you see my friend Jean, be sure to say "Hi, Jean" for me. ;-D
Blaydeman - September 25, 2010 - Report this comment
Super creative and really funny. Great song to choose too. Straight 555 playa!
Mark Scotti - October 15, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM - One of ma friggin' faves from last month!
Peter Andersson - October 18, 2010 - Report this comment
'bagin you some 5s. :-)
SamuraiMaster - October 22, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM - What a friggin douche...
Christie Marie M - October 23, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM - You'll never catch me smooch a douche, that's for sure! Not my kinda guy! 555 cool ones on me!
Below Average Dave - October 24, 2010 - Report this comment
The title shouldn't work with this song, but this had some great lines Matt. This song is a fun original, and your parody took it to a very high place. Maybe not as difficult as some other songs you have entered this year, but I have to admit, I'd probably say this is my favorite SOTM song by you . . . this year or last, no exceptions, Awesome parody, a little fine tuning and this would make a hilarious satire-esque recording
Claude Prez - October 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Well, the title alone was pretty funny; every time it came up in the chorus, I thought it was a great sub. My fave part was the Jersey Shore line, though; actually that whole verse worked really well. Very good.
bobpiecheese - October 30, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Maybe it's because I rarely get out of the house these days, but I have yet to see this rare breed of human. That's probably for the better, according to what you describe them as. Great parody as usual, Matty. 555 for you!
Agrimorfee - March 16, 2014 - Report this comment
Well done. Kind of a kitchen sink approach to all sorts of "douches" there made this pretty funny, although somewhat inconsistent in tone. I think a better rhyming title would have been "Uncouth."
Max Power - March 20, 2014 - Report this comment
It sounds like a song about someone trying to overcompensate.
Abbott Skelding - March 20, 2014 - Report this comment
Not bad. I love the OS but I agree with Grim that the tone was kind of inconsistent. There were a lot of funny lines, but the rhyming seemed off in some places as well. Nice work!
Glen S - March 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Very funny Matty. Say it ain't so, Dane Cook. Lots of great jokes in here, and great pacing as usual. Especially liked the Fabio/pastry dough couplet, among others.
bobpiecheese - March 24, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See above!
Jeff Reuben - March 25, 2014 - Report this comment
This was fun, really well done, and lots of funny stuff!
Blaydeman - March 25, 2014 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See Above!

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