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Song Parodies -> "When Laughs Die"

Original Song Title:

"When Doves Cry"

Original Performer:

Quindon Tarver

Parody Song Title:

"When Laughs Die"

The Lyrics

When your Stand-Up jokes are worse than a Shakespearean tragedy...
[soft intro]
Crowds tend to leave my Stand-Ups.
They groan at my pearls of jokes, all.
Maybe they don't understand quips.
Rabid guys catching breast cancer? Too droll!
Maybe sly scoffs convey laughter.
These clever cracks, so wry.
Why do they scream and bitch after?
This is what a crowd's like...
When laughs die!
As they sigh:
"Oh God, why?!'

[drum-fill solo]

Crowds tend to heave from Stand-Ups.
They groan as they hurl from gross calls.
Maybe there's dust in their brandy?
Ladies are suffering off/on (often) drum roll?
Maybe dry coughs convey laughter.
Sleaze causes splattered aisles.
Why do they seem to retch after?
This is what a crowd's like...
When laughs die!

This is what a crowd's like.
Is it a too-loud mic?
Hisses from the proud dyke.

Teeming with puns and substance.
I'm joking with vibrance, it's true.
Yet the most wry, humorous jokes cause...
A quick retreat.
Depleting each week, crowds do.

Maybe my jokes fly right over, lately.
People look horrified.
Pies thrown to cream this cheap joker.
This is what the crowd's like...
When laughs die!

Boo boo boo!
"Off, guy!"

Now, what's the deal (ooh ooh)
With airline food? (ooh ooh)
Now, what's the deal
With spastic dudes?

A gross inane styyyle!
Uh-oh, they cat-cryyy!
Tomatoes, they flyyy!
They're thrown with cream piiies!
My jokes are tres viiile!
A hopeless, lame guyyy!
Crowds boo all the tiiime!
My show's axed toniiight!

Crowds tend to leave my Stand-Ups.
(A gross inane styyyle!)
They groan at my churlish jokes, all.
(Uh-oh, they cat-cryyy!)
Maybe they don't understand quips.
(Tomatoes, they flyyy!)
Babies in cots full of adders? Too droll!
(They're thrown with cream piiies!)
Maybe "Get off!" conveys laughter.
(My jokes are tres viiile!)
These clever cracks, so sly.
(A hopeless, lame guyyy!)
Why do they heave those tomarters?
(Crowds boo all the tiiime!)
This is what a crowd's like...
When laughs die!

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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Charlie Decker - July 25, 2005 - Report this comment
That's what I love about your parodies...they're so true.
Rick C - July 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I've tried standup a few times. It's not as easy as you might think. I opted for singing humorous parodies instead though. Good job Luke...555
Charlie Decker - July 25, 2005 - Report this comment
By the way, who the bloody hell is Quindon Tarver? Ever heard of Prince?

This reminds me of a joke from Family Guy a couple of weeks ago:
Terminally ill kid: Dying hurts! Peter, in the midst of a terribly insensitive comedy routine: Yeah, tell me about it!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, I've heard the Prince version. And seen the clip with the bath scene. *shudder* I liked the sound of the Romeo & Juliet better. Thanks Charlie D and Rick C!
Stuart McArthur - July 25, 2005 - Report this comment
wow, almost my favourite one of your ever, Luke - loved it - esp when you started doing the "what's the deal..." Seinfeld schtick - LOL - 555 - AND I knew the OS!! (of one of Luke's!! I need a lie-down)
Liam McCormack (LamaRocks) - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
it was good, but i got lost whilst tryin to read it with the song.
Kristof Robertson - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I concur with Stu: a great parody to an OS I actually know! Brill....5555
Johnny D - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Prince is SO frikkin' deserving of parody ... way to GO !!
Yet Another Dutchman - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
I'd give a 5 for the funny, but I couldn't check its pacing. Who's Quindon Tarver? In my head, this seems to pace with neither the Prince version nor the Ginuwine cover. The Prince line-grid to this song's first verse and chorus is this: picture/kiss/me/this/courtyard/bloom/poses/you chorus: standing/cold/demanding/bold/mother/satisfied/other/cry. 16 lines. But you have "When laughs die" in your 9th line. It's confusing. And I love being confused.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank ye all! I put the name under Quindon Tarver as I parodied this off the Romeo & Juliet soundtrack during one of my 6-hours-of-public-transportation-to-get-to-and-from-3-hours-of-work days, which is why some bits are in there that aren't in the Prince version.
------------------------------------------- - September 18, 2012 - Report this comment

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