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Song Parodies -> "Lotsa Pounds And Dividends"

Original Song Title:

"Just Around The Riverbend"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Lotsa Pounds And Dividends"

Parody Written by:

Nib Oswald

The Lyrics

C.ash E.quals O.rgasm
Oh, I love those deceased presidents.
A magnate of this famed enterprise.
The profits that I gauge are always growin'.
Unscrupulous? Purse is getting fat.
My new Coupe looks nice.
I've got way more loot than cents, just reap that dough in!

Luxury I'm livin' in!
Lay folk off, without no severance!

Big bucks in store!
Lotsa pounds and dividends!
With bonds galore!
Dirty launderee!
Go screw the poor!
Every week, more pay in hand
Lotsa pounds and dividends!

For me
Money for me!

A billionaire, I'm gobblin' green.
A lightglobe with a lotta vaults!
Do I hear forty thousand minions humming?
A king's ransom earned in minutes,
Heaps of wampum, lev and gold.
My revenue is often nightly doubling!

Luke-r, that's my heritage!
Sucre: my imperative!

With bucks to scorch!
Lotsa pounds and dividends!
Mammon, for sure!
Sumptuous mastery!
I own you all!
My, I'm so darn affluent!
Dosh abounds, there is no end!

Lotsa pounds and dividends

Should moguls with loads of noughts,
Spare some cash, donate some crumbs?
Should I share with homeless bums?
Just cuz I'm teeming now with bread?
Tycoon, my filled bank could feed Bolivia...

Tough! I do not give a cent!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Rick C - August 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Good job, Luke but, what are lev and dosh? 555
Tim Mayfield - August 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow, Pocahontas recorded this one? I wonder if her tribe get the royalties. There are almost 9 million people in the country of Bolivia, Los Angeles County, California has even more people than the entire country of Bolivia.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 03, 2005 - Report this comment
'Dosh' is slang for money (I thought it was an American one but, there ya go.) and 'lev' is a unit of currency in some European country... I thought it was Bolivia, but after googling just now it appears to be Bulgaria.
*withholds 'giving crumbs to Krum comment*
Here's a dime for Rick C and Tim Mayfield, don't spend it all in the one place!
Arwen - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM...I like money, too...=) And scruples are overrated.
Agrimorfee - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS (is that the Disney 'Pocahantas'?), and I might not be able to d'load the audio. I need to come back to this one.
Adagio - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Really good one,Luke.
EmiLoca - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - After a second read, I am flabbygasked - holy pile of pancreas, this is unbelievable stuff. 5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-5-7.
EmiLoca - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh, and another thing - could I do a cover of this? Like, vocally? It's right in my range and everything. *begs* You see, there's this nice karaoke disc of my sister's...and this nice recording studio at my friend's house...PLEASE!??!
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
YOU'RE begging ME?!!

Ahem, I mean... well, what'd I'd get in return?
EmiLoca - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
All the credit, international recognition and my undying gratitude until I can figure out PayPal.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Nudey gifs it is!
Larry Hensley - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very interesting one.
John Jenkins - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Very clever acronym and Luke-r/sucre couplet. You are well on your way to following in the footsteps of Kenneth Lay and Dennis Kozlowski, but most CEOs do not get (and keep) their positions by "screwing the poor." They mostly succeed by hard work and getting their companies to efficiently provide goods and services that people want to buy.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment're a CEO, aren't you.
Dominic L. - September 12, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM-Good job, 5's
Peter Andersson - September 18, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - Due to your lack of patriotic support for your countries economic walfare-building troops at NASDAQ (or the equivalent thereof) I have to give you 555 to life at Guantanamo Prison (or the equivalent thereof).
Red Ant - September 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I couldn't access the MIDI link, even tried adding an "i" to the end of the URL and the page has been moved. Good work.
Claude Prez - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
That's funny; the midi worked fine for me. This makes me want to go back and finish my Jethro Tull parody, "Pocahontas Breath". And I must be an evil capitalist too, cause I agree with John. Still, clever stuff as always.
Phil Alexander - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Well written, Luke - and while it's true that may CEOs do get to the tops of their businesses without treading all over the poor and weak, that doesn't mean that they won't start once they get all that money and power ;-)
Johnny D - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Heh heh HEH - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
AUGH! That audio link in the SOTM thread needs to have a DANGER HORRIBLE MUSIC warning. Midi's are evil, apparently. I went and downloaded the actual song; fortunately, it was marginally better.

Pretty much what Johnkins said. And double bonus points for Luke-r. I promise that if I'm ever a fabulously wealthy CEO, I will be a GOOD, WHOLESOME, fabulously wealthy CEO. Really - just give me the chance. And the money.

Meanwhile, I'm looking forward to EmiLoca's recording.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Thank ye Dominic L., Peter Anderson (chortle), Red Ant ('.midi' would make NO sense, silly!) Claude Prez (try an Indian Spear-mint), Phil Alexander, Johnny D (only three 'heh's? :( *sob*) and the Spaffmeister (knowing Emi's inexplicable loyalty to education and a social life, we'll all be CEOs by the time that number hits the charts.)
Adam Eccleshall - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ker-ching! Great stuff :-)
Tim Mayfield - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I think I did mathematically calculate that money is actually the 'square root' of all evil, but I digress, I was really here to vote 5's.
Rex - September 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You'll really cash in on this one.
Rick C - September 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well written, Luke 555
Dee Range - October 02, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM. Many are like this: thank god there are others who give like Bill Gates, who has been known to give 100 million at a pop to charities he likes. I'm looking forward to the day you parody a song I actually know :-)
Kristof Robertson - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Having never seen Pocahantas, Luke, I DKTOS...but a well crafted parody

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