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Song Parodies -> "Kirk Colbain Loses the Alphabet"

Original Song Title:

"Heart Shaped Box"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Kirk Colbain Loses the Alphabet"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Ernie: (Infront of audience). Ladies and Gentlemen! Here is Kirk Colbain and he is going to sing a song about the ABC's!
(Curtain opens and there he is with his alphabet box)

KC: I open the box so I can give the letters a peep.
I want to talk to you about the ABC's....
(Ernie appears and takes some letters).
I hope that this performance will be good for me....
You better apreciate it cause I get no sleep....

(Freaks out).

A! A! Where is my letter A!
Give it back or I will not proceed.....
B! C! Why did you do to me!
Give it back now, I will not proceed....
(Repeat first line).

I guess I can do a song with what is left.
(Bert appears and takes even more letters).
I want to do a song about the letter F......
Courtney fed me on ludes and PCP.....
I let her do that cause she cares for me.....

D! E! Why do you bully me?
Stop pulling this crap or I will shoot...
F! G! Why do you bully me?
Stop pulling this crap or I will shoot....
(Repeat first line).

(Instumental Break. Kirk Colbain goes into the audience to search for the letters).

Audience: H I J, K L M, N O P, Mercy me! (Repeat).

KC: I'll ask you nicely to give the letters back!
(The Amazing Mumford makes his box dissappear).
I am doing this number for your benefit!
Very well, I will do with what I have left....
Um...why isn't my box breaking my back?....

Q! R! What fools the muppets are!
If Jim Henson were alive I'd kick his behind...
S! T! Why do you bully me?
If Jim Henson were alive I'd kick his behind....
(Repeat first line)

(Kirk Colbain takes out a gun and shoots himself. Out comes the alphabet!)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 2.4
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   3
 3   0
 4   0
 5   1

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - October 19, 2005 - Report this comment
A great, great idea, but I think you fudged the pacing at the expense of the parody. I won't vote until I see someone else's thoughts on the matter.
Red Ant - October 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Listening to this OS, the pacing is badly off in quite a few places, most notably in the second line of the first 2 choruses and second verse.

"Give it back or I will not proceed"
"Stop pulling this crap or I will shoot..."
don't scan at all to the lyrics
Forever in debt to your priceless advice

This also doesn't scan:
"I let her do that cause she cares for me" to
Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back"

Many other lines are off +/- a syllable or more. The last chorus is the only one I could sing without problem. No vote.
Agrimorfee - October 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Red. Therefore, this leads to one of the most lopsided scores I ever have given.
Stephen Harrington - May 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Pacing 2, Funny 5, Overall 4. While this could use a rewrite, it's still a good idea.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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