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Song Parodies -> "The IRS man"

Original Song Title:

"The Highwayman"

Original Performer:

Loreena McKennitt

Parody Song Title:

"The IRS man"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Loreena's voice is like a bell and her songs have deep meaning...what more could you want? A parody or two!! I am political in nature and the IRS is one of my favorite targets. As much as we rag on the IRS though, they still are the law of the land and most of us are still law abiding.. Most of us will submit the needed paperwork by April but laws can also change at times...
The IRS Man

(Sung to The Highwayman by Loreena McKennitt

On a day i wasn't working,
I didn't mean to brag...
But I'd worked pluse sixty hours
and I was counting out my swag

But i smelled the reek of corruption
As he meandered through the door...
And the IRS man came stealing
stealing, stealing

The IRS man came stealing..
so as to leave the people poor..

It was a black hat he was wearing
and a black tie beneath his chin
His black suit and shoes were flawless
and he wore a sickening grin

His white shirt was a-blinding
enough to make most scared
He gazed upon my booty...
he looked larcenously at my booty...

he took near all my booty!
I have come for my fair share!

The amount he left was paltry
minimal to say the least.
I could soon see myself starving
with no jack to soothe the beast.

My gaze upon him was sepulchral
yes, a foul colden stare
I took back all his portion...
I rescued it from absorption

I saved it from fiscal extortion...
I will pay what tax is fair!

You came to be in 1913
from Congress fueld greed...
A cancer upoin our freedom..
It was you we didn't need!

"Twas lawless miscegenation
that gave the USA Sixteen!
A fiscal conflagration
A stain upon our nation...

And no criminal investigation!
Into something so obscene!

Then you came up with tax withholding
sometime during the World War...
You gained your current acronym...
in 43 or 44...

Your theft was no longer annual
It now was what many feared!!
it was grand theft of fiscal
a time bombed fiscal missile

It became extremely fissile
now that you stole from us all year!!

What was it that we funded?
besides government unsworn?
Your theft was in full motion
Long before I was born!

Since I had no say in those matters
I divided his share by half
Our governance is in tatters
Yes, tatters, tatters

Our confidence has been shattered!
but I'll have the last laugh!

Half again what's left it will cost you
for a Congress quite obscene!
They pass the laws that succor you
(But even they don't know what they mean)

Even if I make retirement...
I will not be free of you!!
For when i collect my entitlements
my entitlements (that make no sense)

That will still be to my detriment..
Because you will tax my SSI too!!!

For every obscenity 'gainst the electorate..
It will cost you another coin!
We need some politican expectorant!
'fore dictatorship is joined!

We'd love to limit their terms!
but they are the ones who make the rules
We should draw a line and hold firm
Hold firm..on limiting terms...

If we cannot now hold firm
We will suffer even more fools...

There's a traitor in the White House
and the Congress is unrestrained!
As they create more legislation
Designed to bind us in chains!

The Judicial should be pro-freedom!
But that is not the case!
They should protect our freedom..
and save us from serfdom..

They should protect us from serfdom!
Wipe that anger off your face!

You say that i should appeal
if I dislike your claws.
But who will hear my entreaty?
The ones who make the laws!!

They will support and succor you!
as the way things stand...
I said they will support you!
permit you, enable you...

I say they will support you
because you steal from the land!!!

here is a thought ironic
if our taxation system was fair...
governance would be funded
Without the need of you there!

But the governemnt would be smaller
Since the states would have more to do...
Because the government would be smaller...
wiser...then some things would be altered...

the government would be smaller
with less responsibilities, thats true!

The electorate doesn't need you
You take but never give!
You would take all of our money
and leave us no way to live!

You are the ultimate destroyer
more fearsome than a vampire, true!
You are the thief in the foyer
The foyer...a life destroyer!
Not even Blade stood a chance against you!

All that was left in his pile
was a nickel sorely used
it was bent and worn out fully
and I wasn't one for abuse...

I gave it to the tax man
"This is fair indeed!"
Spread the word out into the land!
The whole land ..the free land...
So others might heed me!!!


On a day I wasn't working,
I didn't mean to brag...
But I'd worked pluse sixty hours
and I was counting out my swag

But I smelled the reek of corruption
As he meandered through the door...
And the IRS man came stealing
stealing, stealing

The IRS man came stealing..
so as to leave the people poor......

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Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 5

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User Comments

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Joker - January 22, 2014 - Report this comment
I may be crazy enough to take on Batman, but the IRS? No-o-o-o, thank you!
Patrick - January 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Brilliant. This needs to be circulated through the libertarian network. When you look at all the evil this government has inflicted, all the corruption, war, murder, the stifling of commerce and initiative, the lies, the arrogance, remember that the whole rotten system rests on one prop, and one only: fear of the Waffen-IRSS. Take that away, and goes belly-up in about 30 seconds. The income tax began when state governments began imposing alcohol prohibition, depriving the feds of their primary revenue source at that time: the excise tax on brewing and distilling. Wilson wanted the US to bleed its men and money into a foolish European war, in total violation of our founding principles. Hence, a tax on incomes. Just as the tax on telephones was imposed in 1898 to pay for the war with Spain, the income tax was expanded to pay for WWI. And we have been paying ever since, not just in money, but in blood and lost opportunity, and most important, in Freedom.
Minute Man - January 22, 2014 - Report this comment
Yeah, Patrick, screw those taxes which, by definition, are all used for evil purposes. So will you chip in with me to fill the potholes outside my house? Then we'll clear the interstate of snow, go down to Benjamin Moore, buy a billion gallons of dark red paint, and give a couple of coats to The Golden Gate Bridge. Later in the day, we'll build a couple of F-15s because slingshots might not be sufficient as a deterrent against enemy attack.

The countries that have no taxes are paradises like Bahrain, UAE, Brunei, Bermuda, the Bahamas, Cayman Islands, Monaco, Kuwait, Qatar, Oman -- about 15 in all -- and all of them beacons of innovation, culture, free speech, and democracy, with liberty and justice for all, thanks to oil or azure waters. Why can't we be like them?

You'll have to excuse me; I'm just so angry that I have to pay for some "disadvantaged" kid's school lunch. And by the way, ketchup and pickle relish ARE vegetables. You just let them trickle down on the fries.
Daddy - January 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Sounds like Sixty Seconds Boy needs his nap...
Patrick - January 23, 2014 - Report this comment
We sell the F-15's to the oil sheiks to threaten Israel, then give the F-15's to Israel to defend themselves against the oil sheiks. We fight a war on drugs by arming one Mexican cartel to kill members of their rival cartel. The Moslems and terrorists don't hate America for its freedom, Obama does. The Islamic world takes exception to our military occupation of their turf and the indiscriminate bombing of their people. Think of this. I don't like Obama, or Congress, or the Supreme Court. I would trade them all in a split second for the unobstructed right to buy a real Uzi. Even if I didn't actually buy one. However, just imagine that the Chinese decided to depose the US government by invading Hollyweird, Californicate and flying drone aircraft over the United States dropping bombs on federal office buildings or anyone standing nearby. I would be very upset. If we brought all our troops home and just kept a few to guard the southern border. If we reduced the federal government to just those few, limited functions specified in the Constitution, there would be plenty of money left over to fix the potholes, and more parents would have the funds to buy groceries for their own children. America was at its most free and innovative when there was no income tax. The countries you mentioned above threaten no one, and are a magnet for the wealthy and productive who try to protect their earnings and savings from ravenous beasts such as obama and the IRSS.
Minute Man - January 23, 2014 - Report this comment
I had to stop reading Patrick's comment at the point where he writes that Obama hates America for its freedom. If anything defines the right-wing lunatic fringe, its that ridiculous claim. But give me credit for getting that far in the site's "white conservative" ramblings. Am I against the stupid, wasteful, destructive use of income tax money? Of course. I assume that was the intent of what must have been an extended non sequitur. The conversation in this country is all about the growing and dangerous inequality of opportunity between a sliver of self-perpetuating super-rich who buy and own the country, and the rest of us. Seventeen million American children go to bed hungry. One in six Americans live in poverty. Did Patrick mention that? Does he think that eliminating the 1040 will make a meaningful difference in their lives? He prattles about the ideology and theology of income tax when the real problem is a tax code which showers the rich with corporate welfare. His own Cato Institute estimates that allocations for corporate welfare amounted to $100 billion in the 2012 federal budget, and that does not include tax loopholes or trade barriers.

Under Obama, the marginal tax rate on regular income is 35% for over $372,950. The maximum tax rate on long-term capital gains is 15%. But under Eisenhower, the marginal tax rate on regular income over $400,000 was 91%, while the maximum tax rate on long-term capital gains was 25%. Capitalists were not discouraged; the economy flourished; the Treasury collected enough from the wealthy to fund the G.I. Bill; the middle class grew and moved into their first houses. Today, the spoils go to the UNPRODUCTIVE and obscenely greedy money churners of Wall St. who paid for legislation to deregulate and merge banks and investment houses. Bottom line: Decrease income taxes on the diminishing real income of the middle class, and increase taxes of all kinds on the wealthy to a fair rate, as Mayor de Blazio of New York would do just to raise a lousy $1.5 billion for an expanded pre-kindergarten program.
CryHavoc - January 24, 2014 - Report this comment
I never figured that thirty minutes of revising some lyrics could cause such commentary but I had to comment on what Minute Man said. If the Fair Tax was passed and the IRS removed, the USA would undergo a sea change. With Capital Gains tax at 0%, we would become the investment haven and up to ten trillion dollars would come back to the USA. OFC's are perfectly legal and you can be sure rich Democrats AND rich Republicans use them. It is legal cheating. When clowns like Obama say I will make the rich pay more, it is the Middle Class that ultimately picks up the tab. With the Fair Tax in place of our current system, a lot of money could be saved and then put to badly needed purpose. I am against welfare past what is needed, corporate welfare and farm subsidies but the way to wipe out poverty is to produce more jobs, not enable more handouts and when government interferes in the market, everyone loses.
Patrick - January 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Accepting the proposition that government is a "product" or a "service", for what other product does the price you pay depend upon how much you make, whether or not you are married, how many children you have, whether or not you give to charity, etc? And, you can be fined or imprisoned for getting the price wrong. On top of having to hire a professional to calculate the price for you. Most govt employees produce nothing that a free individual would voluntarily pay for. The corporate cronies and Wall Street crowd are just another branch of the government. Starve them too. There is more than enough food in this country to make us all overweight. Free people voluntarily give to charity to attend to the needs of the poor. The government war on poverty pays overpriced federal parasites to perpetuate poverty, along with their jobs.
Minute Man - January 24, 2014 - Report this comment
I do not accept the simplistic proposition that government is a "product" or a "service." The government at all levels is the voice of the people, enacting the social contract. "We have met the enemy and they are us." At present, its function is to mitigate the primal, Darwinian force of capitalism so that it is not a zero-sum game. It accomplishes this, partly, through a modicum of wealth redistribution embodied in a Byzantine tax code. Government is a mess because power and money and influence and stupidity prevail and corrupt. It is inevitable that this be so because government is an accretion of old Band-aids, in the form of bureaucracies with their many sinecures, to maintain the status of the power elite while assuaging the grief of the poorly paid, commodified humans who, most notably during the Great Depression, were on the verge of revolution. The kind of government we have will always expand to fill this or that vacuum, just as surely as the Universe expands. There is no American Dream. There is only the Impossible Dream.

The capitalist countries of the West have taken somewhat different approaches: in America there is a standoff between advocates of an unfettered marketplace where the losers are cared for voluntarily by the good will of charitable winners, vs. those who advocate a fair distribution of wealth with a melange of patchwork reforms which, during that Depression, was known as Alphabet Soup, after the acronyms of the agencies that were formed. Free people voluntarily attend to the needs of the poor? How laughable! How revolting! Meanwhile, in Europe, the capitalist countries have coped by becoming outright welfare states. They falsely call themselves "socialist." Only the most prosperous EU countries can sustain this burden and have its billionaires, too.

An efficient, small, and just government existing within the framework of a capitalist system which is on the verge of turning everything and everybody into entropy? Never! What then is to be done? In the words of Kipling's Mowgli, "That is a story for another day."
CryHavoc - January 25, 2014 - Report this comment
Minute Man or Minute Marx? If Government = Force and the least amount of force is best, then the least amount of government is the best. There is no American Dream. There is only the Impossible Dream. There is an American Dream but only if you believe it is possible. Government is a stumbling block towards that dream.
Innovation You Say - January 26, 2014 - Report this comment
If capitalism is the biggest invention since fire, and it might well be, then how come so many people have a hard time understanding that it doesn't only come with a benefitial side, but also a negative one that needs to be controlled with the equivivalent of fire departments, fire men and fire trucks?
Patrick - January 28, 2014 - Report this comment
I never received a copy of a "social contract" to read or sign. A capitalist makes his fortune by supplying things people want, or performing services they need. If someone else can do it better, he will supplant the previous products and services. Government is supposed to protect the process, but not interfere with it. Government people, on the whole, are those incompetent at real work and totally out of touch with reality.
Minute Man - January 28, 2014 - Report this comment
Patrick, if you recall high school history, you know that the social contract is not something to read or sign. In moral and political philosophy, the social contract or political contract is a theory or model, originating during the Age of Enlightenment, that typically addresses the questions of the origin of society and the legitimacy of the authority of the state over the individual. Social contract arguments typically posit that individuals have consented, either explicitly or TACITLY, to surrender some of their freedoms and submit to the authority of the ruler or magistrate (or to the decision of a majority), in exchange for protection of their remaining rights. The question of the relation between natural and legal rights, therefore, is often an aspect of social contract theory. The Social Contract is also the title of a 1762 book by Jean-Jacques Rousseau on this topic.

And Patrick, if you are, as I assume, a regular watcher of Fox News, you may be interested in the following 2012 poll of 1,185 people, nationwide. The average number of correct answers to five questions about domestic affairs, as related to the respondents’ source of news, is
NPR – 1.51
Sunday Show – 1.47
Daily Show – 1.42
Talk Radio – 1.35
CNN – 1.26
MSNBC – 1.26
No News – 1.22
Fox – 1.04

You become significantly disinformed watching Fox News and, accordingly, have more worthless opinions than if you were exposed to no news at all. The above differences may be small, but they represent millions of people.

Sources: Wikipedia; Fairleigh Dickinson University PublicMind poll.
Dave W. - January 28, 2014 - Report this comment
The governments a bastard
CryHavoc - February 28, 2014 - Report this comment
NPR = Red Radio Love the music laugh at the leftist stance

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