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Song Parodies -> "Flee Arrest"

Original Song Title:

"Be Our Guest"

Parody Song Title:

"Flee Arrest"

Parody Written by:

Timmy1000

The Lyrics

Police Sergeant:
I swear, “Madman”, I yell, you are a creepy guy and hate the measure as tears well on you tonight,
So as we present you with the facts, try to take up our dare for some running room out near the fence – you sinner.

Flee arrest! Flee arrest!
Put our tasers to the test,
Try a lap around the deck, and flee
As you go hide, you pest,
Troops secure!
Brought reserves,
Why, you’ll get what you deserve,
Cry – we play rough.
It’s so vicious,
Don’t believe me? We’re pernicious,
We can sting, take a chance,
Do not crawl, son, we advance,
And your inner fear is soon to be addressed,
Go run, I’m told our venue
Does enhance and then you’ll
Flee arrest,
Be obsessed,
Flee arrest

Police Chorus:
Seize, subdue,
Tase the prey,
Try a good old pepper spray,

Police Sergeant:
Kick him square in derriere,
A billy club’ll make his day,
Make him groan
When ensnared,
Let the beatings not be spared,
Render doom, no one’s abstaining,
Use a bat or maybe caning,
We will poke, hit with bricks,
Give him hell and leave some nicks,

Police Chorus:
After all we had to chase,
We broke a sweat,
Come on, go swift, en masse
And we’ll just kick his ass,
So flee arrest

Police Sergeant:
With some zest,
Have fun running, flee arrest

Police Chorus:
Flee arrest,
Be your best,
Flee arrest.

Do concur and serve our quest,
Let us play when you’re astray,
Do not delay, you’ll be depressed,
Straight ahead, fly the coop,
Bid adieu, we’ll swoop with troop,
It’s a beating for the sinner,
Don’t believe me, here’s a shiner,
Twisting torque, here’s the deal,
Do not cry in vain or squeal,
How could so much fun consume us, we transgress,
We’ll make you pout and roar,
Descend into some gore,
So, flee arrest,

Police Sergeant:
Flee arrest

Police Chorus:
Flee arrest

Policewoman:
It’s a test, it’s a test,
Just survive, do try your best,
Find the yard and shank the guard,
Go stab the chap in fleshy chest,
Put some hurt on his knee,
And get clear that’s fine with me,
While the pups do their pursuin’,
They’ll be troubling you with chewing,
They’ll do harm, quite a lot,
Make a break! Show what you got!
Scream it up! We taunt stupidity with zest,

Police Chorus:
We’ve got buck shot for you

Policewoman:
Is it one lump or two?
Don’t you protest

Police Chorus:
We suggest

Policewoman:
Be impressed

Police Chorus:
See our quest
Flee arrest, flee arrest, flee arrest

Police Sergeant:
Crime is so disturbing,
As the perv stepped off the curbing,
On a stroll with no patrol or yellow line,
Ah, that good old jaywalk was abuseful,
Even though you looked both ways at dawn,
Ten beers I’ve been nursing,
Pleading for a score and cursing,
Needing crooked guys, a chance to choose our kills,
Most days, we just play around and hassle,
Crabby, watch Scorsese,
You stepped off and we went crazy

Police Chorus:
Flee arrest, flee arrest,
Our demand is not in jest,
It appears that we might hurt a body dear,
And we suggest,
You won’t heal, when we seize,
You will bleed, you’re such a tease,
You won’t handle flight by slowing,
Hear that yelp now, dogs are crowing,
Force remorse, fun is done,
‘til we rout and cuff and stun,
Then we’ll fling you in a heap as you contest,
In fright, you’ll drop excretion
But for now, just flee, run
Flee arrest, flee arrest, flee arrest,
Please flee arrest.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   12
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 12
 

User Comments

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John Barry - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Great story and rhyming!
Old Man Ribber - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
A true Beastly Beauty here ;D
alvin - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
i was arrested by laughter
DJ Blaze - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
I hereby sentence you to 555 years in prison.... difficult OS!
Fiddlegirl - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Brilliant!!!!!!
Christie Marie M - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
One law abiding parody, Timmy1K! Talk about a wild goose chase! Going out on a limb! I'll gladly bail you out for $555!
Guy - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1K - Great write reminds me of the first ever reality show ...

Nobody naw give you no break
Police naw give you no break
Old soldier naw give you no break
Not even you idren naw give you no break

As I read this I was reminded of some of my favorite Cops episodes. One guy they chased down was so zonked on PCP they had to use about a dozen cops to get him cuffed and hog tied. He was so whacked that a German Shepard police canine had a few minutes of him on his own. That didn't even slow this guy down. The dog ripped all the guys clothes off of his body with the exception of his underwear. After about what seemed like ten minutes they finally got him restrained.

Another funny one was of this huge woman who was in this all you could eat Chinese buffet. Apparently she was no longer welcome in the restaurant and the owner called the cops. The cops show up and the owner is really hyper - he looks at the woman and says You been here six owah - you eat mo dan we keep cooked - he shows her the bill and says this bill you bill, you go now, you no pay, you no come back no mo. She kept eating and pointing to the sign that said all you can eat. The cops invited her to leave peacefully - she grabbed a handful of spare ribs as she passed the serving area but the cop slapped them out of her hand and then they had to use about three sets of cuffs to get her cuffed around her back.

This parody is well written and quite a fun read. Are you working on the Big 7? This is a huge one to get off your plate. I like how you used different personalities to sing different parts of the parody. I could see the image in my minds eye as I read it. If you can get that effect from a read then you know you done good. High 5's! Police naw give you no break
Old soldier naw give you no break
Not even you idren naw give you no break

As I re
Guy - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1K - There must be a glitch in the software that writes comments on the site. Somehow part of my comment was duplicated and appended to the end of itself. It's like a tail with a tail best way to describe it. The comment actually ends with this sentence:

If you can get that effect from a read then you know you done good. High 5's!

The comment section has been acting strangely of late. I've been getting a lot of comments truncated - this is the first extra text I've seen. ChuckyG - is there a problem with the comment's software?
Mark Scotti - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Very "arresting" parody. LOL!!
blackjack21 - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Don't tase me bro, I'll give you the fives! Great write on a tough OS.
Timmy1000 - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks John, Ribber, Alvin, DJ, FG, Christie, Guy, Mark and BJ21. Loved the cop stories, Guy; I guess I am watching the wrong comedies on TV. These sound pretty funny - of course, there is Reno 911, too. This is my 7th and final one of the Big 7 - they are testers. I think I got better in writing as I went along, but hey, that is practice is for. I had Supercalifragilistic and American Pie from last Decemeber and the other 5 were my last five. Thanks.
Guy - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Timmy1K - Congrats and welcome to the "BIG 7"! Email ChuckyG and ask him to add the Big 7 ribbon to your posting thread on the messageboard. If you don't know about the messageboard ribbons they are explained in detail. All you need to do is find one on someones posting thread and click on it. You can click on mine if you like. You'll find me in the ABC comps, SOTM and ART 57 round. Once again - well done on the big 7 and welcome!
AFW - September 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Very good production number
Phil Alexander - September 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Fantastic - another new idea for this OS, just when you think there's nothing original left ending in "-est". I had this great mental image of a bunch of musical bobbies dancing around, whacking the odd unfortunate chap with their truncheons, tasers and the like.
Timmy1000 - September 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Guy, I will follow up on that. Thanks AFW. Thanks Phil, yeah, that was kind of the "strange" song and dance number I had visualized for this - and all because because the poor fellow jaywalked - kind of a Disney, Scorsese, Python combo song and dance.
metaphorsbwithu - September 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Ahhaha! Bad boy! Reporting badge number 555 to the authorities for roughing you up.
Leo Keough - September 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Excellent job on this and congrats on the Big 7!!!...555!!!

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