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Song Parodies -> "Unshaven"

Original Song Title:

"Sharp Dressed Man"

Original Performer:

ZZ Top

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Ever wonder why ZZ Top decides to keep the ridiculous Osama Bin Laden beard look? Here's your answer!

Clean cut?
Old news
Abe Lincoln’s jealous cause my beard is huge

Shaved smooth
Big lie! (Big lie)
Upon my chin something has die-ie-ied!

I chucked razors into the trash bin
I’m famous cause I’m mangy
Won’t be unshaven!

At first stung
Now Cousin Itt from my face is hung

Beards are
It taught Chuck Norris how to roundhouse kick

Mine’s so long it goes down to my shins
I’m mistaken for Amish
Cause I’m unshaven

(Beard plays guitar during the solo)

Those goats
Because I stole their look and won’t give it back

Saw blades
Get bent
Super sharp won’t leave a dent
Stubble’s massive weighs as much as a van
Santa Claus is craving
A beard like mine man!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   1
 3   0
 4   3
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ann Hammond - September 30, 2010 - Report this comment
he he
Mark Scotti - September 30, 2010 - Report this comment
You really got my 'goat" on that one...LOL
Christie Marie M - September 30, 2010 - Report this comment
A "hairy" situation, Matt! I got loads of laughs from this one and great take on ZZ Top's bearded Osama look! They sure could use their beards as bibs when they eat lobster. I echo both comments above and 555 goatees for this one!
WarrenB - September 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Seems you should be transplanting some of those miracle follicles in my bald parody from yesterday! Just remember that beards are nature's way of harboring last night's leftovers.
Matthias: Mistake! - October 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Crap! "Won't be unshaven" should have been "I won't be shaven" (since won't be unshaven means that they are shaved and that doesn't make any sense with the rest of the parody).
Below Average Dave - October 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Seems like you were limited on editing time on this one Matty-this is rare in that the last half is better than the first half. Your first major reference is of a dead guy and asserting him as alive, and then the Won't be unshaven being the obvious, and other light typos, still love the idea Matty even if you did rush it a bit
Rex - October 10, 2010 - Report this comment
I'm with Dave on this one -- it's brilliant but needs more polish. It also made me recall an old cartoon that had a hillbilly with a long beard that could do things on its own. Love the image of the beard playing the guitar solo.
Agrimorfee - October 10, 2010 - Report this comment
Risky not rhyming excatly with the title worked out well, it was good...but not a spellbinder. I am beginning to see that the brevity of ZZTop lyrics is the challenge, not necessarily an asset..
bobpiecheese - October 17, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Beards playing guitar reminds me of this interweb video for some song called "Hello, Fred The Beard'. Pretty solid parody here, if a little light on LOLs. Worth a 555.

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