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Song Parodies -> "Gas Xmas"

Original Song Title:

"Last Christmas"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Gas Xmas"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Was inspired by Jonathan's parody last week!
Chorus (2x)
Gas Christmas
Oh, here come the farts
Hot stream of odors comin' straight out me arse
My fear
Is that a toilet won't be near
And that I'll take a dump in the back hall!

Always sh-ttin' and don't know why
More than pissin'
My bowels I despise
Tell me, lady,
Do you recognize ME?
Last year lit my rear
Like at a Frat Party
(Your eyebrows have grown back quite nicely)!

Wish my ass was fragrance scented
With a note saying: Warning! Poo!
Fabreeze can't even touch it
All the people that catch a whiff
Start to gag, can disperse a crowd
Once in the air my farts they sniff!

[Chorus 2x]

There's no escaping!

A crowded room,
Here comes a surprise
Gas cloud of poop
Even fools the flies
"My God! Did somebody sh-t their shorts?"
Me? I just laugh and point to Mort!!! (He's 85)

No over-the-counters can stop my farts
So powerful, the odor is waaaay off the charts, Dear Lord!
Sorry, I don't want to offend, but here I go again!

Stand clear!

[Chorus 2x]

Once had a wet one, made a small shart
My Tidy Whities had more than skid marks
Please, all you folks, stay away from my bum
I've come from a restaurant, ate lots of Mexican!

My tummy rumbles
Sphincter starts to open
A hot one
Run, run!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 51

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   45

User Comments

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Jonathan - December 14, 2015 - Report this comment
what a gas! seriously this $#!^'s hilarious! by the way Rob I am currently taking suggestions for some new parodies to write in the new year if you have any requests throw 'em my way! 5's
Rob Arndt - December 14, 2015 - Report this comment
More Hall & Oates parodies. So much to choose from ;-)
Brandon Reina - December 27, 2015 - Report this comment
Ashley Tisdale is dismayed at this bizarre yet stupid parody. She thinks "Gas Christmas" is sorta disgusting. NO GROSS-OUT PARODIES OF CHRISTMAS SONGS FOR WHAM!
Nothing To See Here - December 27, 2015 - Report this comment
Scatology is rarely, if ever, funny.
Rob Arndt - December 27, 2015 - Report this comment
I would dare to disagree as AiR parodists continually post on this topic every year. Now the mundane? That's even less funny ;-)
Spock - December 27, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob, as Phil reminds us, you are committing the logical fallacy "argumentum ad populum."
Chris Caillouet - December 27, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob, I gotta hand it to you, you're spot on with this one. Finally, something we can see (brown) eye to (brown) eye on.
Rob Arndt - December 27, 2015 - Report this comment
I don't fault Spock. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion ;-)
Al Silver - December 27, 2015 - Report this comment
Chris, I read Rob's and your treatises on The Color Brown. Chris, you disappoint me, especially coming so soon after your incisive takedown of Rob on the matter of your Krampus interpretation. As one who has read modern humorists over a long lifetime, I cannot think of anyone who stooped to scatology. I think of Robert Benchley, Dorothy Parker, S.J. Perelman, Max Schulman, Woody Allen, Mark Twain, George Ade, George S. Kaufman, Art Buchwald, James Thurber, Dave Barry -- the list goes on. It's not a matter of élitism or snootiness; it's a matter of mature taste. It has nothing to do with snubbing false propriety and valiantly breaking down barriers. This toilet stuff is just crap. If you prefer the infantile poo-poo, pishy, doo-doo, keep at it. I'll smell it a mile away. Include me out.
Al Silver - December 28, 2015 - Report this comment
My grandson told me that if any of the esteemed humorists I mentioned had written of toilet matters, they wouldn't have been published. He said I was guilty of a logical fallacy called Dicto Simpliciter.
"Shut up!" I explained.
Chris Caillouet - December 28, 2015 - Report this comment
Hi again Al, and thanks for posting your thoughts. Rob and I clearly don’t appreciate each other’s existential views, but that doesn’t mean I’m beyond trying to build a bridge where I can, even if it is just a bridge of poo. To be fair, all of this boils down to matters of taste and whether or not bathroom humor strikes a person’s funny bone or not. I’d be hard-pressed to defend a stance asserting that scatology is key in reaching fame in published works of humor and satire, etc., but I will say it’s not entirely preclusive of it, either. I’ll offer a sole example, the Broadway hit Book Of Mormon, brainchild of Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Matt and Trey are also the creators of the television series South Park, one notable character from which is, well, a turd named Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo ( In general the show’s style of humor (and animation, for that matter) is infantile, crude and irreverent, and many people would and do dismiss it entirely based on those qualities alone. Yet I would argue that, puerile as they may seem, these episodes often bear very mature moral messages and, using snarky potty-mouthed fourth-grade characters (and a Christmas Poo named Hankey), they quite astutely point up some of the most ridiculous and atrocious things that happen our world.

In Book Of Mormon, Parker and Stone have employed to great effect many of the same narrative devices that have made South Park popular for nearly twenty years now, as evidenced by the play’s positive critical reception, numerous awards and continuing popularity. Granted, there isn’t much if any bathroom humor in BOM per se, but that isn’t the point; the point is that, for Matt Stone and Trey Parker, at least, the prominent use of such elements in their productions in general has not been an obstacle to fame and mainstream acceptance.

(A somewhat weaker but analogous example is Mike Judge, creator of the undeniably juvenile Beavis & Butthead, who was also behind Idiocracy, a comedy film that paints an all-too-plausible vision our society after a thousand years of human devolution. It also has a distinctly Beavis & Butthead flair, but Judge's message is no less valid simply because of the way he chooses to convey it.)

I guess these guys could get their points across without all the scat. But when the message at its heart is shi++y, then just maybe it makes sense for the medium to be, too.

As for the authors you mention, well, maybe Twain and Thurber never published anything overtly poopy that we are aware of, but it’s sure not hard to imagine them laughing at farts and fart jokes and maybe even jotting some down in their notebooks. You think Mark Twain never wanted to have Tom and Huck making bubbles in the Mississippi? And what fun Ogden Nash might have had coining new scatological terms! Who knows? Had they had access to the internet, they might have been a lot freer in publishing those nuggets as so many are today.

For myself, I am certainly no Trey Parker, Matt Stone or Mike Judge. Then again, I don’t believe I place inordinate emphasis on this type of humor in what I’m publishing here, either, so you shouldn’t be in too much danger of further disappointment. If I do drop more steamers in the future, I won’t fault you for stepping over them!
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - December 28, 2015 - Report this comment
I prefer to be included out along with Al. His list omitted Stephen Leacock, Carl Hiaasen, and Weird Al Yankovic, but he otherwise knows the facts about farce and farts. Wham's take on this ballad might deserve some kind of gas, but an entire submission about that is uninteresting and not worthy of a creative parodist.
Rob Arndt - December 28, 2015 - Report this comment
Al, Chris, and GC(d), you might wanna consider generating more parodies than long-winded, superfluous BS commentary. What's that expression? Hmm... ANYONE can be a critic! But here are some hard facts much to your dismay. I empirically have produced far more thousands of parodies than all of you combined and lead as a Top Contributor too in 7 of 10 categories including New Song Titles. Also dominate Fragments and provide an encyclopedia of wide-ranging knowledge far beyond what you three write about. 2964 parodies in less than 5 years. My advice to you? Go back and spam your own threads. I'm too busy writing parodies. Toilet humor is still humor and since I have less than 1% of those types of parodies, it doesn't bother me or the other Vets who did it before me and who still do it on occasion. Thanks also for inspiration for yet another one! ;-)
Chris Caillouet - December 28, 2015 - Report this comment
Well, so much for building bridges, eh Al? Maybe he didn't realize that I'm a Vet, too. :-(
Callmelennie - December 28, 2015 - Report this comment
When it comes to humor, argumentum ad populum is quite valid. After all, humor is whatever causes a large number of people to laugh. One may have serious reservations about the psychology that caused the laughter -- but if it made em laugh it was funny
Al Silver - December 28, 2015 - Report this comment
Chris, I learned a while ago that if you don't completely agree with Rob, any bridge is a bridge too far. At the very least, he will smite you with his esoteric, personal stats.
Security code 6UP. Damn! Another near miss.
The AIR Trivia Guy - December 28, 2015 - Report this comment
Fun Fact: Robert D. Arndt Jr. has published nearly 3,000 parodies of more than 10 original songs. It's true!
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
That would be impossible to do with over 600 individual artists and every genre. SJH IPASOY only rates 704 and WN OTRA is 185= 889.They account for 30%, so 70% is other although I have huge categories and artists. Beatles= 237, Lady Gaga= 163, Traditional= 169, Parody of Parody= 107, Madonna= 59, Superheroes/Villains= 152. Even adding those= 1776 or 60%. Your math is off TATG. Now do time. 2975 ( by Friday) divided by 56 months= 53/mo or 635/yr. Highest sustained per month number was 100 parodies a month for a long time (112 peak) and Fragment high of 11 weeks straight. Number of parodies in 1 day was 22 (JAB beat me with 100 compiled and submitted). And don't forget my other 4117 Contributor submissions as well= 7084 submissions by tomorrow. No one is like me here as far as production goes and diversity. I claim unique status as both Top 10 Parodist #2 and Top 10 Contributor #6. All under 5 years. Top that. Oh that's right, no one else here can. You tried to make fun of me, but you torpedoed yourself. Get your facts straight.
Sabermetrician - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Sure, Rob, but what are your OBP and OPS?
Samuel Clemens - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Figures often beguile you, especially when you have the arranging of them to yourself... There are three kinds of numerology: religious numerology, damned numerology and statistics.
Robert E. Howard - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Whom the gods destroy they first make mad.
The AIR Trivia Guy - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Another fun fact: 6 is greater than 1 (or: More than 10 is more than 10).
Certified Loon - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
I find that insulting, Mr. Mental Health Specialist, as well as distressing. Please don't try to put him in here with me!
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Don't use my thread as a springboard for your faulty thinking and math. You brought it, you got served, now own it.
@REH - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
So sorry that "The Legend of Conan" has been delayed. Go back to masturbating to your other fantasy works!
Devastated - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob, I followed your high-class math regarding your productivity in classifications I didn't know existed. I'm sad to report that you omitted a necessary Cauchy-Riemann conversion in line 4. And in line 5, you failed to carry the 1. How can I continue to worship you?
Anti-Braggart - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
Rob, when are you going to learn that no one gives a damn about your totals. Give it a rest.
Rob Arndt - December 29, 2015 - Report this comment
When will you stop commenting if you truly don't care? Btw, providing valid stats isn't bragging anymore then when Peter hit 500. And, JAB used to do blocks of IPASOY parodies. He has roughly 500 himself! We're both numbers men, so that's our thing. I don't criticize others for their styles, tributes, or topics. Employ your double standards somewhere else.
Anti-Braggart - December 30, 2015 - Report this comment
Yes, JAB has roughly 500 himself but he doesn't feel the need to keep telling us about his totals every other week.
Amiright trivia guy - December 30, 2015 - Report this comment
Jes wondering. How is it that a submission that has garnered 40 555's, which is the highest 3X5 total of the year by far, has almost no positive feedback at all. seriously, judging by the vote total this is the best parody of the year, by far, but the commets are 80% negative
Rob Arndt - December 30, 2015 - Report this comment
Why does any parody get X amt of hits and X amt of ratings? I see a lot of avg 20-30 5s for several people here with or without comments. Most of the negativity here doesn't even concern my parody but are attacks. Does that answer your question Mr. Anonymous? You can't even print your name. Provide your parodies for comparison. And of course, because you said that remark, some people will just rate 5s for fun. Same thing happens with 1s. You should know that if you are a Vet. Of course, you could just be a troll ;-)

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