-> "The Lament of Twila Paris (I Lost to Amy Grant)"
Original Song Title:
"I Lost on Jeopardy" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"The Lament of Twila Paris (I Lost to Amy Grant)"
Host: Now we bring the finalists for Female Vocalist of the Year: Ms. Sandi Patty of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Mrs. Amy Grant of Nashville, Tennessee and Mrs. Twila Paris of Fayetteville, Arkansas LIVE at the 32nd Annual Dove Awards!!!
I was there to prove my music wits
Right there on ABC
‘Gainst Sandi Patty, and there was Amy Grant,
Who sat right next to me!
I was small, I was ill-known;
I guess it just wasn’t my year!
I watched as they gave the trophies,
Ah! but my name I never could quite hear!
I lost to Amy Grant, Lord God! (2x)
When it came time to get my own award,
I hoped that I would win!
But no! that thug by name of Amy Grant
Just robbed me of my spin!
And Sandi Patty also won there;
For me, there was nothing to get!
Well, I’m out of here, you half-wits;
Just tell me who just on me did bet!
Host: That’s right, Mrs. Paris—you lost! and let me tell you what you didn’t win: a new contract with Sparrow Records, a #1 ranking among gospel artists and the Encyclopedia of American Gospel Music! But that’s not all! you also made yourself look like a jerk to gospel fans, tarnished the name of Ecclesia College for generations to come! You don’t get to come back next year; you don’t even get any second-place prize! You are a complete unknown!
Twila: I don’t know what I will do now,
I guess I really did bog down;
Well, I sure hope I do better
When Triumph comes my way to town!
(Refrain, except “I lost to Amy Grant” is thrice repeated)
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