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Song Parodies -> "Throw These Out"

Original Song Title:

"Hold Me Now"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Thompson Twins

Parody Song Title:

"Throw These Out"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

For Artistry 2 (Round 113) this is the only Thompson Twins song I know and I ONLY know this song because I remember reading Spaff's pirate parody "Blow Me Down" a long time ago!
My Christmas sweater
Makes friends appalled
You cringe at my shoes since they're green
Soles are slapping, They're stunning you all

I won't score a wife now
My clothes have deformed
These shirts are too tight and
Are frightening with tears
Need to fry what I've donned
Noooo, Whoa...

Throw these out
Whooooaaa!
Stormed Wal-Mart
Need new jeans
Not looking smart
(So far from smart!)

Suit's stained with a creamer
White goo's on my twine
Stomachs are lurching
When checked out by girls
Blazer makes their teeth grind

All my hats have a crease, Dear
Sooooooo bad they're concave
I'm not broke I've got dough here
But I'm rather cheap
So I'm viewed the wrong way
Nooo, Whoa, Nooo, Whoa...

Throw these out
Whoooooaaaa!
Dressed so "sharp"
Sprayed with cheese
This nasty scarf
(Will make you barf!)

Whoa!
Throw these out
Whooooaaaa!
Dressed while dark
Stained my teeeeeees
With blood from sharks
(Gets strange remarks)
Whoooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Ski mask smells like doo-doo
Shorts are all frayed
I mentioned my shoes
But my boots are too shunned
They were maimed by a stray

So I'll cling to some new duds
That I'll buy at the store
My sleeves are quite a big mess
Thanks to my nose and snot
My fashion's so poor
Noooo, Whoa, Noooo, Whoa...

Throw these out
(My briefs smell worse than the farm)
Whoa...
Off the charts
(Slacks have been drug through the marsh)
Please help me!
(Can you help me?!)
They're sucking hard!
You're running far!

Whoa!
Throw these out
(My jeans made you quite alarmed)
Whoa...
Fill my cart
(Fill up my whole shopping cart)
Heard you scream
(Just heard you scream!)
These socks are charred!
I'm blushing hard!
Whoa!

Whoa!
Throw these out!
(Large holes have caught you off-guard)
Polo's tarred
(Time spent at the steelyard)
Stink like weed
(I don't smoke weed)
Vest fell apart!
Must press restart!

[Repeat until you actually go out to the store and pick out some new clothes you filthy slob]

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

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Agrimorfee - November 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Clothes make the man, but in this case we'll make an exception. :)
Claude Prez - November 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Haha, did they have any other songs? I see their Greatest Hits album on the side there; I'm imagining like 10 remixes of this....anyway, I always thought it was "Clothes make the man-NEQUIN. That really explains a lot; gonna go shopping immediately. Oh yes, good job -- chock full of clever subs once again.
Matthias - November 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Thanks guys!
Jonathan - November 07, 2017 - Report this comment
I only know this song because... '80s music effin' rocks! 5s
Jeff Reuben - November 08, 2017 - Report this comment
I own their Greatest Hits album lol! Sounds like you were dressing in the dark when you wrote this one :) Lots of good lines in this one.
Matthias - November 08, 2017 - Report this comment
Jeff Reuben the line: "Dressed while dark" was kind of a reference to your song lol

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