From Ohio, he's only just eighteen
Gave writing songs a whirl
Now chick take notice, I know you'll be impressed
Cause he Don't Fake the Girls
Though he's not legal, he'll find brew
The Next Thirty Beers will see him through
He's The Beer Man, he'll be King Of The Prom
So here's a song for you

You know Matthias
He's taking on parodies where the pacing's rough
And the rhyme scheme's tough
You know Matthias
Doesn't get discouraged when ol' Ozzy speaks
And gets Bleeped on the tube
He just spoofs you

You know Matthias
He lost his arm to Roman Candles but he's tough
Sipping Foam from Duff
You know Matthias
Dr. Brown Dissecting Gilligan is great
And he dates Xena, Dude
She's no Shamu

Come December, The Grinch Is In His Home
No Booze, Flirt, or Porno
He saves the evening, Smokes The Christmas Bong
Then Santa Buys A Round
It's Honky Tonky, Amish too
Plastic Surgery will get you through
Merry Christmas, Now Leave Until Next Year
Or grab yourself a beer
Happy Brew Year