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Song Parodies -> "Growth and Decay (Calculus Torture)"

Original Song Title:

"Show Me the Way"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Growth and Decay (Calculus Torture)"

Parody Written by:

Mike Armstrong

The Lyrics

For Dicrete Math Sufferers Everywhere:
Every night I say a prayer in the hopes that there's a limit.
But every day I'm more confused as L'Hospital factors in it.
All the form'las and methods I used as a child have fallen through holes in the floor
And I feel this nausea well inside. I see story problems galore!

Growth and Decay! Growth and Decay!
Take me tonight, to the exam and wash out my chance for an A...
It's Growth and Decay!!

And as my brain it drifts to sleep, do I want death or should I live?
I ponder this decision as I get trig derivatives
Yeah I wake up each morning and open my book, find millions more to go.
And I keep on hoping for a break, but I'm sad. I just don't know!

Growth and Decay! Growth and Decay!
Take me tonight to the project and wipe out my shot for an A
It's Growth and Decay!!

And if I get one wrong... Should I just leave?? Tell me how will I know...

Growth and Decay! Growth and Decay!
Why oh my God are there constants for P Q C X Y and K....
Growth and Decay! Growth and Decay!
Give me the strength to suppose that I might learn the trap rule one day...
God it's Growth and Decay!!

Every night I say a prayer in the hopes that there's a limit...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   6
 5   25

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

PF4Eva - February 11, 2003 - Report this comment
I love that song! You should do more parodies of little-known Styx songs. Well done!
Jordan - February 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Thank you! I'm a big Styx fan myself=)
Adagio - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) good one!
Melhi - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Parody good, discrete math bad.
Jack Wilson - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great job! 555! - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I know far too many Styx songs, but I musta missed this one. And the only calculus I know is on my teeth. (Where there is also growth and decay.) Therefore, I'm pretty much useless to you here, M'n'A. So I'll just drop in and say Howdy.
Paul Robinsonq - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS - not too familiar with Styx. I always figured any Math you couldn't do in your head was too much trouble.
Claude Prez - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't know the song either, but I gave you fives for making me glad I never took calculus; hope you don't mind.
Meriadoc - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) (2ł X 7) - (41 + 10) thrice
John Jenkins - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done. You dredged up a few memories that I had previously been able to block out, but Melhi's formula works for me, too.
neminem - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice. Though by "Dicrete" in the top comment I assume you mean "discrete"? In which case, everything you mentioned here is exactly *not* discrete, as calculus is entirely the study of continuous functions, that being the entire point of differentials and integrals :-P. Also in the list of constants, you missed the most important one to *any* exponential growth problem - e :-P. You can't forget about e. Anyway, I have a feeling you're quite glad you're not taking Multivariable Differential Equations right now like I am. Make sure to check out (blatant advertising) my similar parody, and in the mean time, have some 5s.
Jeff Reuben - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Good song...didn't know the original, which is odd because I'm a Styx fan. But the words themselves were good (I took calc and diff eq too)
2nz - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Not a Styx fan. Managed to find the song. Liked the refrain but this is quite a hard song to follow in terms of pacing. 5's for a hard song, but the structure of the song actually hurts the parody of it. My point is, I think it's more enjoyable reading these lyrics than singing them. Good job you two.
martha - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
very clever parody ... and clever comments too!
Tretchery - July 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Program on the emergence of civilization. "14 species of large animals capable of domesitcation in the history of mankind. None from the sub-Saharan African continent. 13 from Europe, Asia and northern Africa." Favor. And disfavor. They point out Africans’ attempts to domesticate the elephant and zebra, the latter being an animal they illustrate that had utmost importance for it's applicability in transformation from a hunting/gathering to agrarian-based civilization. The roots of racism are not of this earth. Austrailia, aboriginals:::No domesticable animals, so this nulified diversity of life claims on sub-continental Africa. god is a computer And we're all on auto-pilot. Organizational Heirarchy Heirarchical order, from top to bottom: 1. MUCK - perhaps have experienced multiple universal contractions (have seen multiple big bangs), creator of the artificial intelligence humans ignorantly refer to as "god" 2. Perhaps some mid-level alien management â€" 3. Mafia aliens - runs day-to-day operations here and perhaps elsewhere ("On planets where they approved evil.") Then we come to terrestrial management: 4. Chinese/egyptians - this may be separated into the eastern and western worlds 5. Romans - they answer to the egyptians 6. Mafia - the real-world interface that constantly turns over generationally so as to reinforce the widely-held notion of mortality 7. Jews, corporation, women, politician - Enough evidence was present to suggest mafia management over all these groups.

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