Within the walls of a lavatory
Crumbling tiles with streaks of yellow blight
No wipes to use, and cries of pity
You've let ones and been straining all through the night
It took a day to do your duty
The morning came fast, now it's afternoon
As you got up to put your pants back on
I recognized the sounds you had just made
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the piles you'd laid

And then I heard this porpoise inside your fart
Some kind of scary noises in your bowels
Had thought I heard a squid
From your colonary spasm
I figured that your anus was on fire

Then you went off to find some t.p.
Cause you'd been using your hand instead
This way so long for years and years
If I had shaken your hand I'd wished that I was dead
During the time you are sleeping
Again the splatterings invade
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the cables laid

(Repeat Chorus)

This prison has now become my home
A penance assumed for every day
Another day to do your duty
Starting from the dawn to the afternoon
As you got up to put your pants back on
I agonized from sounds you had just made
I had to stop in my tracks for fear
Of walking on the piles you'd laid

(Repeat Chorus)