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Song Parodies -> "Mattress Out in the Yard"

Original Song Title:

"Fortress Around Your Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sting

Parody Song Title:

"Mattress Out in the Yard"

Parody Written by:

Porfle Popnecker

The Lyrics

youtube

For those who don't know--putting someone's hand in warm water while they're asleep is supposed to make them wet the bed. I don't know if that's true or not, but my big brother did pull the old shaving cream trick on me a time or two.
Inside the summer camp at midnight
Comic books and pools of lantern light
No radio, no watching TV
Counsellor has been snoring all through the night

He hit the hay at seven-thirty
We copied the key to his private room

We had revenge upon our fevered minds
For making us install his mini-blinds
I had to stifle my giggles when
I thought of what we'd do to him

And if we drag your mattress out in the hall
And fill your palm with grits and shaving cream
Put feather to your nose
And then tickle till you scratch it
Just chalk it down to having a bad dream

Then we went off to hike some mountain
Thought he'd expose us to the morning air
He brought along some chips and beers
And selfishly ate and guzzled all, he didn't share

So that night when he was sleeping
Beneath the quilt his mom had made
I had a whopper of an idea
Now he'd make his own lemonade

And if we drag your mattress out in the hall
Where things are not as cozy as they seem
Then gently place your hand
In a bucket of warm water
Just chalk it down to having a wet dream

This summer has now turned into fall
Our parents will come to get us soon
On our last day you made us labor
By washing and sweeping all afternoon

As you retired into your bed to dream
Of how impressed they'd be in the A.M.
We had a thought that became a scheme
How pretty you would look for them

And if we drag your mattress out in the yard
And dress you up in bloomers like Bo Peep
Then make you up like Cher
With a Phyllis Diller hairdo
Just chalk it up to walking in your sleep



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Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 2

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