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Song Parodies -> "When Gloves Glide"

Original Song Title:

"When Doves Cry"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"When Gloves Glide"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Getting a prostate exam is a pain in the ass...
Digging inside of my sphincter
When you turn my age you need this
Down deep in my booty doctors reach
Make sure I'm healthy
My prostate's in bliss

Cream is spread on my backdoor
Now where has your wristwatch vamoosed?
Cuticles glide next to my colon
So strap on your cleats
Those cleats give you traction, dude

It's way too tough to keep standing
Sitting in this chair is much worse (much worse)
Shuffle around like a zombie
I brought my hams to the slaughter, They're cursed
Addams Family makes me shudder
Thing makes me terrified (terrified)
And can't cook Hamburger Helper
This is what I sound like
When gloves glide

Turned me into your puppet
Shoving your fingers inside
Slick just like butter when I'm lubed up
Ask for a date, dude
Must be wined and dined

I'm screaming out for my mommy
Alone with this pervert's bad touch (bad touch)
This healthaide is a bit palmy
I'm butt-hurt using this walker, It sucks
This quack's not a gentle lover
Mitts lost in my behind (Mitts lost in my behind)
Asked him to help clean my gutters
This is what I sound like
When gloves glide

Took a trip to the Grand Canyon
All for my well-being I'm told (Well-being I'm told)
Sporting that white latex fashion (Spending, spending my very last dollar)
Spending my very last dollar, It blows
Medic went a bit too southern (Medic went a bit too southern)
Doc went and crossed the line (Doc went and, went and crossed the line)
Next time I'll keep on my boxers (Next time I'll keep on)
This is what I sound like

When gloves glide
When gloves glide (Gloves glide, Gloves glide)
When gloves glide (Gloves glide, Gloves glide)

Whoa guy! (Whoa guy!)

When gloves glide
When gloves glide
When gloves glide

When gloves glide (Gloves glide, gloves glide, gloves glide)
Whoa guy!
Snarling: Whoa guy!
Whoa guy!
Whoa guy!
Whoa whoa guy!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - February 29, 2016 - Report this comment
Nice-555! When the doctor says "Let me give you a hand"... in this case, resist!!!
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - March 06, 2016 - Report this comment
This single-finger 5-second procedure is not unacceptable even to squeamish males. While less often "informative" than screening with the more controversial PSA blood- test, it is a logical part of periodic physical exams. A clever title-sub, but what is the impact of your lyrics?
Agrimorfee - March 07, 2016 - Report this comment over the top, it's a winner. Secirity code TP8, if that means anything.
Jeff Reuben - March 08, 2016 - Report this comment
Heh, this hits a little close to home as I get older :) Well done.
Abbott Skelding - March 08, 2016 - Report this comment
Looks like you've completely shed your former "not a fan of gross things" label. Not saying perfectly simple medical procedures are gross...but the phrase "I brought my hams to slaughter" had me dying! Love the Hamburger Helper and Thing reference as well. Very funny stuff!
bobpiecheese - March 08, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) This was so wrong that it swung around to hilarious, 555!
Blaydeman - March 08, 2016 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Oh God.... Oh God..... OH GOD! Matty, there are things you can't unimagine. What are you doing to me, buddy. Aw, man. Youch! This parody rubs me in ways I care not to elaborate on.
Callmelennie - March 09, 2016 - Report this comment
Well, Blaydie, it's like what I said to the urologist during my prostate exam, when he said he felt something unusual down there ... "So do I Doc, so do I"

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