I was crazy when I bought this, I saw it on the QVC
You should never buy a widget from an infomercial on TV
But it slices and it dices, it even cuts the thing in three
and it comes with lot's of freebies and a ten year warantee

They said "two thousand's all we have better hurry or you're outta time
Send us seven easy payments of just Nineteen-ninety-nine"

I saw that Billy Mays guy clean tables with the orange-glo
It seemed to be so easy I decided to give it a go
A grill that's good enough for Groege Foreman's good enough for me
For a body like Chuck Norris buy the total Gym from TV

Yeah two thousand Ultra Gym's is all they had but I got mine
For ten years they'll ding my credit card for Nineteen-ninety-nine

Now I know the web is cheaper, and I know the sales tax is free
and they never charge you shipping like they charge you on TV
But the thought of clicking pages, it does not appeal to me
And just look at all the hits on my new seventies CD

I had two thousand items up for sale in my yard sale one time
Out of habit everything was priced at Nineteen-Ninety-Nine

Alright, it's $19.99
You say it, $19.99
$19.99
$19.99 don't stop, don't stop, say it 1 more time

One hundred zero zero's what the retailers have in mind
But i'll sell it for three payments of just Nineteen-Ninety-Nine