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Song Parodies -> "Amphetamines"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Paul Hardcastle

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

During WW2 the German Army was supplied with 100s of millions of methamphetamines, usually Pervitin and Isophal. In just 4 months of Blitzkrieg in 1940, 35 million tablets were distributed. Pervitin (basically speed) was given in 3 mg tablets. One pill gave the German soldier between 5-8 hrs of sleeplessness, two pills could cover 24 hrs!!! As the war progressed the Kriegsmarine was trying to develop a wonderdrug for midget sub crews and at Kiel came up with D-IX which soon was to be mass-produced for all soldiers of the Reich, especially the Waffen SS. One D-IX tablet could enable a German soldier to march 55 miles with a full load w/o any sleep and be ready to fight when he got there!!! It was tested at Dachau and orders were placed for millions of the tablets to be distributed in mass quantities by Sept-0ct 1945. Firtunately, the war ended for Nazi Germany in early May 1945.
In 1945 Germany seemed like just another World War,
but it wasn't
It was different in many ways, as so were those that did the fighting
In World War I the average rage of the German soldier was normal...
In World War II he was on amphetamines
In in-in-in-in-in-in World War II he was on amphetamines

(Radio announcer's voice)
The shooting and fighting of the past two weeks continued today
several miles east of Berlin
“We were pumped with Pervitin as the battle raged on” (German Soldier’s Voice)

Am-am-am-am Amphetamines, amphetamines, Am-phetamines amphetamines,
amphetamines, amphetamines, amphetamines, amphetamines

In World War II the German soldier typically served a non-stop tour of duty but
was exposed to hostile fire almost everyday
Am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am amphetamines am-am-am-am-am-am-am amphetamines

Millions of Germans who saw heavy combat in World War II survived
Their death rate was several million who were marched back to the USSR over a decade
There are no accurate figures of how many of these Germans had been murdered
But, a W German study concluded that the greater of the POWs
exposed to reconstruction labor w/o amphetamines lessened the likelihood that they would come home alive

This is a tragedy of World War II

(Singing Frauleins)
All German soldiers who remember the war
They won't forget where they’ve been
Destruction of the enemy in their prime
due to German soldiers on amphetamines
Krieg, Krieg
Dededede-D-IX, blitz-blitz-krieg, blitz-krieg, Krieg
Krieg, Krieg

After World War II the Germans came home together on foot, but the German
POW often arrived home with 6 years of drug-abused non-stop combat
Perhaps the most dramatic difference between the Armistice of World War I and total defeat in World War II was coming home.. .none of them received a hero's welcome
None of them received a hero’s welcome…

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

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 5   10

User Comments

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Patrick - July 12, 2011 - Report this comment
I've seen books printed in the late 1950's containing photos and information on missing German soldiers, along with requests for information from comrades who might have seen them killed or captured. I've also seen a lot of wartime German magazines: Der Adler, Kriegsmarine, Signal, etc, and have never come across any references to the use of drugs by German troops. Was this something the regime preferred to keep secret? I have seen and tasted Scho-ka-kola, a caffeine based chocolate product with coffee extracts. The on-line ads say not to give it to children or elderly. The cans in which it is sold are strikingly similar to the ones issued in the 1940's.
Rob Arndt - July 12, 2011 - Report this comment
There's no secret about methamphetamine use in WW2 as even the Allies took them (Benzedrine, etc...). The German pills were distributed under the code OBM. Pervitin was available since 1938 from Temmler and German soldiers often wrote home to family about sending more pills from the Chemist. German medical tech in WW2 involved: Morphine, Ecstacy, Methamphetamines, NEGION generators for aircraft, synthetic blood and plasma, synthetic penicillin, wonder drug D-IX, and even SS resurrection technology (attempts at reanimating the dead)!!! The LW used Fliegerschokolade. D-IX was so powerful it was kept secret until the 2000s and revealed in the American Journal of Medicine but w/o all the ingredients for obvious reasons!!! Japan synthesized methamphetamines in 1919 and also used them during WW2 (postwar street name Shabu). No secret at all. The reason they did not advertise in German mags was that there were anti- opium and other stimulant drug laws passed in 1941, but even Hitler was given meth by his quack doctor in IVs...!!!
WCJ - July 12, 2011 - Report this comment
I am on Adderall, for Hf autism and ADHD, which is also an Amphetamine, So I can relate to this parody well! 5's! ;-)
Patrick - July 12, 2011 - Report this comment
I can remember some of the previous generation singing "Who Put the Benzedrine in Mrs Murphy's Ovaltine?". I see a lot of little white pills for sale at convenience store counters and very high prices being asked for very small bottles and cans of "energy drinks". When Reagan sent the Air Force to assassinate Khadaffy" many years ago, the pilots were offered pills to stay awake on the long flight from and back to the U.K. It has always seemed to me that Civil War battles and US urban riots tend to burn themselves out in about three days. That must be about the maximum the average individual can function in an "up" or "combat" mode without some form of chemical assistance. The Yanks and Rebs only had whisky, which would put them to sleep, and some opiates, likewise. Urban rioters have access to stimulants, but I've not observed that they used them to any great extent to keep on fighting.
Rob Arndt - July 12, 2011 - Report this comment
I wouldn't say that at all. All over the world in long civil wars and regional conflicts combatants have some form of drug in use. In Somalia, the pirates and warlord warriors chew on Khat for example. In the ME its opium. Russian soldiers used drugs in all the Chechen conflicts, etc... Alcohol, of course is number two... However, German use in WW2 was the greatest of all time- makes Vietnam look pretty harmless by comparison.
Maude - July 12, 2011 - Report this comment
Such a history lesson....I like it!
Rob Arndt - July 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Maude, some people like my info-parodies and others don't. Glad you did ;-D
Patrick - July 13, 2011 - Report this comment
I was thinking of urban rioters in Florida and California. The publicity surrounding the use of khat in Somalia resulted in a demand for the leaves amongst the doper community in the US and Canada, with some arrests for smuggling reported. I have read that kids in South America smoke the dregs of the cocaine refining process. It's called "basuco". Anglicize that to "bazooka" and the cartels could quickly build another profitable enterprise in this country. I've been reading about the US Civil War. After the battle of Antietam , the commander of one US regiment ordered whiskey for his troops before sending them out on grave digging duty. He calculated that they would have to be drunk to perform the gruesome task.

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