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Song Parodies -> "Don't Hit Me with a Beast Shot"

Original Song Title:

"Hit Me with Your Best Shot"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Pat Benatar

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Hit Me with a Beast Shot"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The SSK .905 rifle is the largest caliber in the world. Only 3 have been custom made and weigh on average 100 lbs firing a 24.1x70mm round!!! It makes both a .50 Cal (12.7mm) Barret and a 20mm AT gun look weak by comparison! Available as a hunting rifle, it is known as 'The Beast"
At 100 lbs it's so heavy
Cartridge insanity
.905 off the charts
39,000 ft/lbs energy!
That's OK,
But the recoil's abusive
"Kicks like a mule"
Better lay down to shoot it!

(Chorus)
Don't hit me with a Beast shot
Please don't hit me
With a Beast shot
Don't hit me with a Beast shot
Don't blow me away!!!

Kreiger barrel & stock McMillan
Size gives me a scare
But that's OK, the muzzle brake's there!
Each $40 round can cause much pain
All I know is that I won't be downrange!!!

Owners must be deranged!

(Chorus)

At 100 lbs it's so heavy
Cartridge insanity
.905 off the charts
39,000 ft/lbs energy!
That's OK,
But the recoil's abusive
"Kicks like a mule"
Better lay down to shoot it!

(Chorus) [x2]
Cartridge weight: 3600g
Velocity: 2200 fps
Energy: 38685 ft/lbs
Muzzle brake weight: 18 lbs
Rifle weight: 84-120 lbs

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   2
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User Comments

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Gun enthusiast - November 10, 2017 - Report this comment
Whoa! That's way off the charts! I once fired an old antique pistol in .57 Cal and it hurt my hand. I can't imagine firing this monster and not breaking my arm or shoulder! Thanks for the info. You didn't say how much each gun costs though...
Rob Arndt - November 10, 2017 - Report this comment
I think $17,000-20,000 per depending on model. The latter comes with a big scope, extreme buffer pad, and double custom bipod AFAIK.
Patrick - November 10, 2017 - Report this comment
Looked up a couple videos on this rifle. Not particularly distinctive in appearance, but the look on the shooter's face says everything. I found a .30-06 a bit excessive in recoil. Preferred .303 and 8mm back when the rifles were cheap and readily available. Looks like it would turn a charging rhinoceros inside-out. How much does a new shoulder cost?
Jonathan - November 10, 2017 - Report this comment
do you feel lucky? well, do ya, punk? 455
David - November 10, 2017 - Report this comment
Punks (plural) judging by the caliber of that rifle cannon!

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