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Song Parodies -> "(They're Usin') AT Dog Mines"

Original Song Title:

"(Livin' In) Desperate Times"

Original Performer:

Olivia Newton John

Parody Song Title:

"(They're Usin') AT Dog Mines"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

A rather odd weapon the Soviets used in desperation during the early part of the German invasion was the Russian dog mine which consisted of a trained, hungry dog armed with an explosive pack and trigger lever. The dog was taught Pavlov-style to run towards tanks that had food underneath them in hopes that in the field they would do it with the pack on and detonate under the German tank hull, destroying it. However, since the Russian dogs were taught using Soviet tanks like the T-34, when deployed in combat they almost always turned around and attacked their own recognizable tanks!!! This weapon system was then abruptly dropped. The Germans, OTOH, also used a few dog mines during WW2 but trained them differently and only in the most desperate situations. German dogs carried a slip-on satchel type charge and once under the enemy tank would pull out of the jacket which then started the timer. The dog was trained to run back to German lines as quickly as possible to be rewarded by its handler. German dogs were also rewarded for combat with the Iron Cross, just like a German soldier and the award certificate was in the dog's name, not the handler's!!! German dog mines were known as Panzerabwehrhunde or PAH- no pun intended!!!
Never thought fighting could be so tough
And I wondered if I had seen enough (?)
Protect our panzer from breaking down
With all these damn dogs running around

Every mission is just another test
Seems I never get any rest
Have my MP-40 Schmeisser ready
To shoot any stray dogs along the way

Panzer’s got a mounted MG-42
But shooting dogs is hard to do
Only wish I could throw them a bone
Pity is just a feeling you keep inside
How's that gonna help our panzer to survive?
Looks like our panzer is satchel-charge prone

And they’re usin’ AT dog mines
Sent towards our German lines
Don't care what we have to do
Gotta shoot so they can’t make it through
Ja, and they’re usin' AT dog mines
Quick, before it's too and we run out of time
Shoot these dog mines as the run, run, run
SCHIESSEN SIE DEN HUND!!!

Soviets introduced a new invention
With the potential of an easy win
It’s something you should see
So f--king hard to believe
Hard to spot in the falling white snow
A pack of dogs charging down below
Underneath our panzer hulls
Trigger mechanism then BLOWS!!!

We've faced this situation
This is always a hard decision
To aim and shoot man’s best friend?
Gitta kill any dog that comes along
Can’t question if it's right or wrong
I only wish this threat would end…

And they’re usin’ AT dog mines
Sent towards our German lines
Don't care what we have to do
Gotta shoot so they can’t make it through
Ja, and they’re usin' AT dog mines
Quick, before it's too and we run out of time
Shoot these dog mines as the run, run, run
SCHIESSEN SIE DEN HUND!!!

And they’re usin’ AT dog mines
Sent towards our German lines
Don't care what we have to do
Gotta shoot so they can’t make it through
Ja, and they’re usin' AT dog mines
Quick, before it's too and we run out of time
Shoot these dog mines as the run, run, run
SCHIESSEN SIE DEN HUND!!!

And they’re usin’ AT dog mines
Sent towards our German lines
Don't care what we have to do
Gotta shoot so they can’t make it through
Ja, and they’re usin' AT dog mines
Quick, before it's too and we run out of time
Shoot these dog mines as the run, run, run
SCHIESSEN SIE DEN HUND!!!




http://www.hightech-edge.com/wp-content/uploads/anti-tank-dog-mine.jpg http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MgDYnNMXfqQ/TXHarutkeQI/AAAAAAAAGEs/uoFzIgoyuF8/s1600/anti-tank_dog_mine%2Bweird%2Bweapons%2Bof%2Bwar3.jpg

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   15
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User Comments

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Hammerhead - June 08, 2011 - Report this comment
Use of animals of war is just plain wrong! But thanks for the information. 555!!!

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