10 seconds... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... Ignition... Lift off

Kelly, oh Mr Kelly, if only your standards weren't the extremes
Kelly, oh Mr Kelly, your influence will haunt me in my dreams

Let's hear it for Mr Kelly
(You shouted for Barabas!!)

His philosophy of life is to gloat evil
And as far as we can tell
He's the head teacher from hell
There's no way he will support a levels

No grade too high, no paper too dry
No essay too long, no weapons too strong
No walk too far, he's got a car
No slope to steep, no thought too deep
No kid too bright, no squeeze too tight
No girl too tall, no boy too cool
No class too low, he'll give it a go
No end to his wrath, no sense in his path

Kelly, oh Mr Kelly, when disaster strikes you never get depressed
Kelly, oh Mr Kelly, you'll always prove that Kelly is distressed

Although he's unconventional in hue
His philosophy of evil is his view
And despite the limitation
Of his poor co-ordination
He knows he'll show the world a thing or two

(These are my standards)

Kelly, Mr Kelly, you're the guy who puts the H in Homocide
Kelly, Mr Kelly, your deeds are guaranteed to stupefy

No ride too rough, no test too tough
No act too slick, no race too quick
No shot too hot, he'll hit the spot
No style too chic, no joke too weak
No chance too slim, no fate too grim
No foe too strong, no odds too long
No price too high, he's put some by
No dodge, no doubt, no backing out