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Song Parodies -> "Anything For Gloves"

Original Song Title:

"I'd Do Anything For Love"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Meatloaf

Parody Song Title:

"Anything For Gloves"

Parody Written by:

Skrued Up Branechid

The Lyrics

Meatloaf's carreer crashed and now he's a hobo.
And I would do anything for gloves
I'd run right into hell and back
I would do anything for gloves
I run right over Helen Black.

But I'll never forget the the way my hands feel right now--
Oh no--frost bite--
I would do anything for gloves
But they cost ten bucks.
That's just a little too much.
Anything for gloves
I would do anything for gloves
I would do anything for gloves
But I got just five bucks
Please Give me five bucks.

Some stores they cost five bucks
Some stores they're even cheaper
Some stores they got none at all
and these are the stores to avoid my friend.

Maybe I'm homeless
Yea I'm homeless cuz of Bush!
I know some gloves can warm me
Even those purple mitts will do!
As long as roadkill keeps turning.
As long as the trash keeps burning.
As long as my nightmares come true--
You better believe it!--

That I would do anything for gloves
And I've got real bad frostbite on my hands--
I would do anything for gloves!
And I'll break right in and steal a pack--

But I'll never forgive you all if you don't give me some gloves--
Tonight--
I would do anything for gloves!
I would do anything for gloves
I would do anything for gloves
But I won't do that
I won't do that...

I would do anything for gloves
Anything you've been dreaming of
But I just won't do that...

Somedays I pray for mittens
Somedays I pray for gloves
Somedays I just pray to the God of mitts and gloves to save my soul

Some nights I lose the feeling
Some nights I lose control
Some nights my fingers freeze just as the fire blows out and the thunder rolls

Maybe I'm chilly
And that's all I'm qualified to be
There's just one and only
The one and onlydream that I can keep
As long as the roadkill's turning
As long as the trash keeps burning
As long as the winter's endin' soon--
You better believe it--!

That I would do anything for gloves!
And you know it's cold and that's a fact
I would do anything for gloves!
And there'll never be no turning back--

But I'll never warm up faster than I warm up with gloves
So long--
So long--
I would do anything for gloves
I would do anything for gloves
I would do anything for gloves
But I won't do that
I won't do that

I would do anything for gloves
Anything you have had bad fears of
But I won't do that...

But I'll never stop dreaming of you
Every night of my life--
Sweet mitts--

I would do anything for gloves
I would do anything for gloves
I would do anything for gloves
But I won't do that
I won't do that!

Glove:
Will you raise me up?
Will you slide me on?
Will you get me right out if this Godforsaken pond?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

Boy:
I can do that!
I can do that!

Glove:
Will you wear me sacred?
Will you wear me tight?
Can you colorize my life I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less cold?

Boy:
I can do that!
I can do that!

Glove:
Will you make me warm you up, Warm your own two hands?
Can you build a display case pretty with these grains of sand?
Can you make me be something you can take home?

Boy:
I can do that!
I can do that!

Glove:
Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya hose me with holy water--if you're hands get too hot--?
Will ya take me to places I've never known?

Boy:
I can do that!
I can do that!

Glove:
After a while spring'll be coming.
It was a brief interlude
An early winter night's fling
And you'll see that it's time to move on

Boy:
I won't do that!
I won't do that!

Glove:I know the territory, I've been around
It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down
And sooner or later, spring'll be coming around

Boy:I won't do that! no I won't do that!
Anything for gloves, oh I would do anything for gloves
I would do anything for gloves, but I won't do that, no I won't do that
I know it sucks but I'm twelve so what'd ya expect

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 2
 0
 
 5   5
 3
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Yet Another Dutchman - November 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I should trust you on the pacing, but that would do the voting system an injustice. Sorry for not voting. I know the song, but they don't play it that often. You have my five for funny, though. Forbidden love for an unaffordable glove, lol. The duet part with the glove was especially original and fun.
Poopie Longstocking - November 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Superb parody of one of my favourite Meatloaf songs of the 90's!! But uhm...the pacing just wasn't there, so I cannot vote 5,5,5.
Bill - November 16, 2005 - Report this comment
The pacing is pretty good, gets alittle of at some points tho', pretty funny though, Glove-guy duet, Fantabulous stuff! 555

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