Dentist, hygenist, where are you?
I haven't seen ya for a decade or two
And now I'm hurtin' and I think that I'm screwed
Hey Jack, it's a fact, I love my pop
A case a day and I don't wanna stop
Didn't realize my teeth absorb it like a mop

I do the dew every night and day
No sympathy when the people here me say

I lost my teeth from drinking dew
Gums are rotten and my breath's bad too
I wanna eat but it's so hard to chew
Because I lost my teeth from drinking dew

I cry, say goodbye to shishkabobs
I'll never eat another corn on the cob
Shoulda brushed my chompers, now I feel like a knob
Oh boy, there's a void in my mouth
I think I'd fit in real well in the south
Don't wanna get no dentures, though my chewing is in doubt

I guess I'll start eating through a straw
Or live off foods that won't exercise my jaw

I lost my teeth from drinking dew
Gums are rotten and my breath's bad too
I wanna eat but it's so hard to chew
Because I lost my teeth from drinking dew

I kinda like eating baby food
But please don't stare when I smack my guns, it's rude

I lost my teeth from drinking dew
Gums are rotten and my breath's bad too
I wanna eat but it's so hard to chew
Because I lost my teeth from drinking dew

I lost my teeth from drinking dew (repeat)