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Song Parodies -> "Thrombosed Hemorrhoid"

Original Song Title:

"Rhinestone Cowboy"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Glen Campbell

Parody Song Title:

"Thrombosed Hemorrhoid"

Parody Written by:

Dave Allman

The Lyrics

written for my friend Jim
Thrombosed Hemorrhoid
I've been wipin' my ass so long
Never have worn a thong
I know that my crack doesn't ever see the light of day
Where Charmin's the name of the game
And cling-ons get washed away like the snow and the rain
But now there seems to be something swollen
On the road out from my colon
And the doc with a knife has his light shinin' on me

It's a thrombosed hemorrhoid
Poking out of my ass like a blister on a pink balloon
Like a thrombosed hemorrhoid
Getting poked and prodded from people I don't even know
And I'm fresh out of Colon Blow

Well, I really don't mind the rain
And a smile can hide all the pain
But I'm down when I'm ridin' the train that's takin' the long way
And I dream of the things I'll do
When I can sit on both cheeks and I won't be afraid to poo
Because now there seems to be something swollen
On the road out from my colon
And the doc with a knife has his light shinin' on me

It's a thrombosed hemorrhoid
Poking out of my ass like a blister on a pink balloon
Thrombosed hemorrhoid
Gettin' poked and prodded from people I don't even know
And I'm fresh out of Colon Blow

It's a thrombosed hemorrhoid
Poking out of my ass like a blister on a pink balloon

FADE
It's a thrombosed hemorrhoid
Gettin' poked and prodded from people I don't even know
I just wish I had a rubber band

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
 1
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 0
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 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

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Moose - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
LOL.....great one.
Royce Miller - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
I thought this was great
Johnny D - November 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I stumbled on this one.....it's freakin' HILARIOUS!
Fuzzy - June 20, 2006 - Report this comment
I love it...I wish i could find someone who sang it.
wife - September 13, 2007 - Report this comment
A friend of mine found this to send to my hubby who just had his thrombosed hemorrhoid lanced last week.....I just linked this to my blog, which details the ER experience! annasplaceofholding dot blogspot dot com
Bob - July 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I played and recorded the song using Daves lyrics because my boss was going into hospital to have his removed! He didn't see the funny side of it! You can find the recording at www.bobpendrey.com.
helena - February 21, 2010 - Report this comment
.

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