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Song Parodies -> "Four Foot Nine"

Original Song Title:

"Nine to Five"

Original Performer:

Dolly Parton

Parody Song Title:

"Four Foot Nine"

Parody Written by:

Thor2000

The Lyrics

"I've never met Dolly Parton, but many people I've met who have met her comment on how petite she is...."
Stumble out of bed, Look over the counter
Struggling just to have to climb her
I yawn and stretch and try not to fall.
Climb in the shower, and the blood starts pumping
Just to reach the faucets, I start jumping
Folks look down on me cause I'm Four-Foot-Nine!

Only Four-Foot-Nine, how can I make a living?
Barely see over, I need a lift, But no one's giving
Everything's over my head and I'm always confused as a child
I'm never getting any taller; it's enough to drive me crazy,
If I let it...

It's a dream to not need a ladder
Just finding clothes is a major matter
Buying children's clothes is the only way
I'm in the same boat with a lot of folks
Listening to all sorts of short jokes
Soon the tide's going turn and you're all going to pay!

Four-Foot-Five, with fifty-inch-breasts
You think that I would fall forward on to my chest.
Want to move ahead, but my life is one big mess,
All the time I've got men looking down my dress

Only Four-Foot-Nine, how can I make a living?
Barely see over, I need a lift, But no one's giving
Everything's over my head and I'm always confused as a child
I'm never getting any taller; it's enough to drive me wild,
If I let it...

Four-Foot-Five, Would you look at how tall I am?
Wish I had a few more inches, and weighed more than a few grams.
It's a tall man's world, and I dream about being tall too!
And you spend you life putting lifts in your own shoes!

Only Four-Foot-Nine, how can I make a living?
Barely see over, I need a lift, But no one's Giving
Everything's over my head and I'm always confused as a child
I'm never getting any taller; it's enough to drive me crazy,
If I let it...

Four-Foot-Five, Would you look at how tall I am?
Wish I had a few more inches, and weighed more than a few grams.
It's a tall man's world, and I dream about being tall too!
And you spend you life putting lifts in your shoes!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   2
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 5   3
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User Comments

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AFW - September 23, 2005 - Report this comment
Snappy lines...very good job on this...fives
Yet Another Dutchman - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
What AFW said.
Michael Pacholek - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
For the record, Miz Dolly is five feet even. Speaking of her feet, they're size 5 1/2. "I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade." As for her best-known feature? "I don't know if I'm supporting them, or they're supporting me." Smart lady. "There's a heart beneath the boobs and a brain beneath the wig."

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