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Song Parodies -> "Uniforms"

Original Song Title:

"Unicorns"

Original Performer:

Barrett and Smith

Parody Song Title:

"Uniforms"

Parody Written by:

Aisling

The Lyrics

It was Friday night, the union met
It went too long, and I was tired
Negotiations were a fright
I finally slept, though I was wired
And I dreamed that we wore uniforms
Dreamed we dressed like Target clones
Their ugly fabric turned my guts
And boiled my blood and froze my bones

Gray and puce with logo stamped
They made my ass look fat and wide
Polyester, cheap and grim
My eyes were red, I cried and cried

I wept for the years of pride and light
When reference work had dignity
And cursed the branding market hype
That's infiltrated all libraries
My teeth were clenched, my fists were tight
As in my mind, the image blurred
Of smiley faces, retail terms
And calling patrons customers

We never went away
You always knew that we were near
You saw this coming long ago
Abandon hope, for now we're here

I raised my eyes to search for books
The shelves were empty all around
The rain came pouring from the sky
The reference stacks were drenched and drowned
And when they asked me why I wept
Like one for whom good fashion mourns
The only answer I could give
I dreamed that we wore uniforms

We never went away
You always knew that we were near
You saw this coming long ago
Abandon hope, for now we're here.

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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 5   1
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