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Song Parodies -> "Alt-Facts"

Original Song Title:

"Love Shack"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

B-52s

Parody Song Title:

"Alt-Facts"

Parody Written by:

Chris Wolvie

The Lyrics

Honestly, I don't like making so many political parodies over so short a time frame (ESPECIALLY those I know damn WELL is going to get me flamed by those who seem to LIVE to flame me)...but this administration makes it TOO DAMN EASY!! So, after the inauguration, Press Sec. Sean Spicer (SS) claimed the sparse crowd was actually the "most-watched" swearing-in ever. And, when Counselor Kellyanne Conway (KC) was asked about this by NBC News, she defended Spicer by saying he just gave "alternative facts". This set off a maelstrom of tweets and memes about exactly just how...interesting...this Presidency will be. So...Share and Enjoy...or Shout and Flame, whatever gets you through the night...because THIS is what gets ME through it...
If you hear the number at the inauguration that says "15 mil", it's an...
KC: Allllllllt-fact!
Alt-fact, yeah, yeah

We're heading 'round the Washington Beltway
Gonna let the truth get away
What really is "truth" anyway?

SS: I got me a POTUS who's as rich as can be
And he tells me to tell you some alt-facts
We had us a crowd, over twelve mil or twenty
I'm saying that so he'll pay me his money!

KC: An alt-fact is a little way to say,
"We can say whatever!"
Alt-fact, baby (SS: Alt-fact, baby)
Alt-fact, (al)-ternative fact
Alt-fact, (al)-ternative fact (SS: Oh, baby, that's where we're at)

SS: Boss says, "Shut up, 'fake news'!
'Cause I rule, with my alt-facts!"
KC: What he says is true, doesn't matter what you say
Man, the press have no cause; hiding with libel laws
Fans are on his front lawn
Fans around the Beltway
Everybody loves him
He said that's what we say

An alt-fact is a little way to say,
"We can say whatever!"
Alt-fact, baby (SS: Alt-fact, baby)
Alt-fact, forget 'bout tact
Alt-fact, truth's gettin' sacked

KC: Fibbin' and half-truthin'; panderin', self-lovin'
You say you can prove it but I say you got nothin'!
The alt-truth's the only truth this country will be
Allowed, and it's loud, and it's right 'cause it's loud!

SS: Everybody loves him, but the press still shoves him, baby
KC: Note that he has the drones to shoot you down!
SS: Everybody loves him, but the press still shoves him, baby
KC: Ted Turner shot! Brian Roberts shot!

I got me a boss whose hands are bigger than whales'
And he refuses to fail!
You media folks, he finds you not funny
So he'll give the news that's true, you dummies!

KC: An alt-fact is a little way to say,
"We can say whatever!"
Alt-fact, baby (SS: Alt-fact, baby)
Alt-fact, (al)-ternative fact
Alt-fact, (al)-ternative fact (SS: Oh, baby, that's where we're at)

KC: Pad, pad, pad up the polls, baby
SS: Whine a little louder, Blitzer!
KC: Mad, mad, mad are the polls, baby
SS: We won't hear you!

KC: PAD, PAD
SS: All the polls, baby!
KC: MAD, MAD
SS: On a roll!
KC: PAD, PAD
SS: In control, baby!
KC: MAD, MAD
SS: We're WHAT?!

KC: Neeeeeeews we've trusted!

Alt-fact, (al)-ternative fact
Alt-fact, (al)-ternative fact (SS: Oh, baby, that's where we're at)
Alt-fact, (al)-ternative fact (SS: Oh, baby, that is the fact)
Alt-fact, (al)-ternative fact (SS: Who needs confirmation? We're the greatest nation...)
SS: ...thanks to allllllllt-facts!
Remember, folks, this is JUST A PARODY!! If you take it too damn seriously, then why are you even on this site?!?

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.1
How Funny: 2.1
Overall Rating: 2.1

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   20
 20
 20
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rightie - January 25, 2017 - Report this comment
You're a rotten POS. 1's
Reality Check-up - January 25, 2017 - Report this comment
Alt-facts of the Left: Comey threw the election, Russia hacked the election or influenced it, Russia was in direct contact with Trump's team the entire time, if Obama ran he would have won by a landslide (how so, since Hillary was his third term candidate and she lost?)!!!
Reality - January 25, 2017 - Report this comment
You can have your own opinions, son, but you can't have your own facts:

http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2017/01/crowd-size-matters-trump-is-right-it-was-huge/
Alt.Right - January 25, 2017 - Report this comment
Nobody makes fun of Kellyanne Conway! 1-1-1
Chris Wolvie - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Aaaaaand, there they are. Just as I predicted. Is this the highlight of the day for you guys? If you hate me and my parodies so much, WHY DO YOU KEEP READING THEM?! Are you just sitting at home saying, "Oh, geez, writing angry comments on The Daily Show forums ain't doing it for me tonight...I wonder if that d**k Wolvie has written another parody I can give ones to?" But, hey, y'know what? I still pity those of you who actually take pleasure in taking a dump on people who take a dump on your politics. And, if taking time out of your precious day to tell me how much you hate me and my harmless parodies makes you happy,...then fire away! There are those who actually LIKE my parodies...and, until the day I get NOTHING but 1s, I'll keep making 'em. After all, this is what makes ME happy! And, as someone who's been battling depression for ten years, I *need* to do this...and so I will! But, if you still think I'm a waste of space, that's your opinion and if it makes you happy saying so, say so. I just wish you guys who live to constantly give me 1s would find something a little more productive to do.
L. Chaney - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Chris, the haters and late-night kibitzers here consume most of the world's supply of SSRs and tricyclics; of Paxil, Prozac and Zoloft. When you're depressed, anxious, phobic, paranoid and anhedonic, you are.... Donald Trump. So count your blessings, Wolvie, and take your lycanthropy pill. 5s.
@I. Chaney - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
"Depressed, anxious, phobic, paranoid and anhedonic" would be the perfect descriptors of the Donald Trump that lives in the anti-universe that you apparently inhabit; because the Donald Trump that lives in this universe is the exact opposite of ALL of those adjectives
CML@Wolvie - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Those 12 one-bombs are not the work of 12 separate Trump fanatics. One person can vote numerous times. So you've got maybe only three separate people downvoting your work. And as for that one person, he or she is completely inured to anything you're likely to say. So ignore it .... If you really want to see some unhinged nastiness, check out, my soaring triumph "If Buckwheat Sang I Put a Spell On You" This is a piece of crap that I posted that basically copied the formula that another parodist, Porfle Popnecker, had used the day before, with overwhelming positive response. But look at the response I got. As it turned out, almost all of that was the product of one mentally diseased person using innumerable sock puppets. I know this because ChuckieG finally called him out and banned his utterly deranged, sock puppeting ass. But here's the kicker -- I've never even looked at the last half of those comments. Why would I?
The Offenders - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Yo Chris.... ignore those alt-right creepers. Their 1's are sweet music to my ears. And look for my audio post tomorrow when I target his desire for Russians and gold. Should send them off the edge again, which is where they belong!
@CML - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Speak for yourself. Anyone on-site or just viewing can vote whatever combo they want for any parody and that does include 1-1-1. Some may object to the topic, profanity, offensive content, or simply that they didn't like it for whatever reason. Your own parodies have been rated that way because you are insensitive to people of color, Muslims, Gays, and so on. Stop blaming others who voted their conscience on your insulting topics. Some people deserve 1s. And if you make political attack parodies, be prepared to be receive counter punches via the rating system. I see so many authors here that just 5 their buddies no matter how bad the material is or poorly written. Larry is right. What happened to a good write or read? What about interesting? Hate parodies on all sides should not receive 5s. If you get 1s for your materials and thought process, own it. Stop making excuses. Logic would dictate that if you write against Trump on a site dominated by Republicans, you will get hit. That's just common sense.
CML - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
What is your malfunction, Wolvie? I have never written anything on any of your threads that was hostile and all you ever do is snap back at me with real hostility. That last comment of mine was designed to help YOU out ....This sort of thing used to bother me, but now what you progressives are doing is showing your true colors -- You are the aggressors in this culture war, you have always been the aggressors. Keep showing your true face. BTW, I gave you 5's on this parody
Davison - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
^ you want an award CML? Go ask Putin to give you one!
CML - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
Would have to bone up on my Russian first. Let's see ... Daytye mnye nagradu, nozhaluycta, Prezidyent Putin
Executive Odor - January 26, 2017 - Report this comment
There is widespread voter fraud on this web site. In 2016, 3–5 million illegal votes were cast. The major category of illegals are those who have submitted fewer than 1,000 parodies based on the Zest commercial. Other categories are the undocumented and the brain-dead. I propose a voter ID system in the form of a password issued only to those who are Zestfully clean.
@CML - January 30, 2017 - Report this comment
All we want is social justice. All you want is hatred, bigotry, misogyny, and war. You and your kind are Neanderthals. Social progressive is the way to go. If we have to fight a cultural war, then so be it. Love Trumps Hate!
Xyz - January 30, 2017 - Report this comment
Wolvie for President! Lennie for White House Men's Room Attendant!
CML - January 30, 2017 - Report this comment
So to sum up the argument so far, after I tell Wolvie that I have done nothing to him to warrant any kind of hostile reaction, what do his supporters do. Do they attempt to show where I was actually aggressive to Wolvie? Why no, they respond like progressives always do, with unhinged hostility. Why? Because that's the only trick they have -- which is a point I've been making for years. Now watch all these people demonstrate the intellectual agility of monitor lizards at a water buffalo kill and come back with even more name-calling. Just watch
@CML - January 31, 2017 - Report this comment
We fight for social justice and those who disagrees will be sent to death camps. SIEG HEIL!
Chros Wolvie - February 14, 2017 - Report this comment
This is the last time I comment. I wasn't going to read the comments after my last one but I did it anyway. Let's be clear: I'm no SJW, I'm no hater of free speech, I'm no liberal, conservative, Communist or fascist. I just write parodies about what I have in mind at the time. If you like them, fine. If you don't, ALSO fine. If your life revolves around giving people like me ones and cursing me out, ALSO fine...though I think you're wasting your time. I don't ask to be ridiculed...but I *also* don't ask to be defended. You guys seem to thrive on taking innocuous song parodies and turning them into social-political statements. That is NOT why I write them. I have ZERO political agendas! I hate BOTH sides of politics in the 21st century. And having political arguments on a f@#$ing parody website just proves how divided politics has made these so-called "United States"! This is NOT "making America great again"; it's making the internet into "us" and "you"! I'd rather those who live to blast me do something more productive with their lives. But I also don't want anyone wasting their time DEFENDING me like they know how I feel. So, please,...if you don't like my parodies, stop reading them. Because no amount of ridicule with stop me from making them...and no amount of praise or defense will make me do more. I write what I write when I feel like writing. But I won't ever not allow comments...because it's obvious some of you NEED to complain. Don't expect me to read the comments anymore, though.
Stop Whining - February 14, 2017 - Report this comment
You poor victim, you. I have more sympathy for General Flynn!
Becky - May 08, 2017 - Report this comment
This is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!

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