Wife's back

If you see a drunken man at the end of the bar who's had
15 pints cos his wife's back, wife's back yeah yeah.

She'd headed off on a long weekend away - suddenly the cat had gone away
Suddenly the mouse could go and play, it's f*cking A!

I got me some coke, it's as clean as the snow and I'm snorting it up
before my wife's back, baby

I got me some rizlas, I'll need about 20
So hurry up and make that 3 foot doobie

My wife's back, and the house is a mess
And we won't stay together
Wife's back, baby
Wife's back, baby wife's back etc

Oh shit, God I'm a fool cos I'm drugged up and my wife's back
Well I'm laid right back with a hooker on my face
Now she's throwing me out and I gotta get packed

Syringes on the mattress
Porno on the TV
Vomit on the front porch
Bottles in the hallway

My wife's back, and the house is a mess
And we won't stay together
Wife's back, baby
Wife's back, baby wife's back etc

Whorin and a drinking, smoking and a snortin, loving every second
Cos I'm damn nearly 40
The whole room's spinning, yeah the whole room's spinning
The whole room's spinning, and everything is moving around and around and around and around
Everything is moving, everything is spinning baby
Her Dad's driving up from town just to deck me!
Everything is moving, everything is spinning baby
Damn it I'm trashed! Damn it I'm trashed!

Come round to my place, I'm as drunk as a skunk and I'm about to smoke crack!!
I got me some uppers and I've took about 20
I'm cracking up, cos damn those walls are funny!

My wife's back, and the house is a mess
And we won't stay together
Wife's back, baby
Wife's back, baby wife's back etc

Bang, bang, bang, it's the whore, maybe? What you doing out there, sugar?
Bang, bang, bang, on the door, baby! Oh sweet Jesus!
Bang bang, on the door baby, bang bang!
I'm what? Divorce, busted!
Wife's back, baby!

The courts, baby, that's where I'm at

Crying and a wailing, weeping and a whining now my wife's back