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Song Parodies -> "Stem-cells, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up To Be Meatloaf"

Original Song Title:

"Mammas, Don't Let Your Babies..."

Parody Song Title:

"Stem-cells, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up To Be Meatloaf"

Parody Written by:

Giorgio Coniglio

The Lyrics

Cowboys have shortened lifespans, and unhealthy lifestyles - They won’t heed diet or pills, yet give you their smiles. Smoking in pool-rooms and tinned sloppy-Joes and a breakfast of chicken-fried steak. They won’t understand cloning, why the dogies have gone - Steers and cowboys just fade away.
Cow-cells in vitro won’t moo, but they ain’t hard to clone.
Myocytes [1] can be lined up, much like neurons or bone.
Conveyor-belt ‘Dolly’s, on packing-house trolleys might frighten consumers like you.
PETA surely will grouse if calves have to die young
To make BSE-free [2] beef Ragú.

Stem-cells, don’t let your babies grow up to be meatloaf;
Don’t let ‘em be Big Macs or mulligan stew,
Make them be sirloins or prime ribs ‘au jus’.
Stem-cells, don’t let your bovine genes morph into burgers;
They’d sure land up bunned, and likely be shunned by
Lovers of côtelettes-de-veau.

Foodies like trendy new bistros and fresh local produce
Tonight’s Steak Tartare from the lab shouldn’t get them uptight.
Abattoir workers feel threatened,
But coliform runoff and tainted meat lessened,
Lean cuisine - it’s all protein; for the future a blessing
To feed 8 billion souls every night.

Stem-cells, don’t let your offspring get smothered in goulash;
Don’t let ‘em be Big Macs or mulligan stew,
They’d feel more ‘mignon’ as prime ribs ‘au jus’.
Stem-cells, don’t let your progeny flower into burgers;
They’d sure land up bunned, and likely be shunned by
Lovers of châteaubriand.

[1] myocyte = (isolated) muscle cell
[2] BSE = bovine spongiform encephalopathy, “mad-cow” disease. Cloning might permit development of disease-resistance in cattle.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Robert Galbraith - August 08, 2013 - Report this comment
Yummy, yummy, yummy, test tube genes in my tummy. Won't be much different from what they make hamburger and hot dogs out of these days. Then again, I used to look as eggs as potential chicken nuggets that never made it to their full potential.
Patrick - August 08, 2013 - Report this comment
At first I thought this was a warning against the fellow who sang "Paradise in the Dashboard Light".

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