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Song Parodies -> "Agents Don't Let Your Clients Sign Up With the Cowboys"

Original Song Title:

"Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys"

Parody Song Title:

"Agents Don't Let Your Clients Sign Up With the Cowboys"

Parody Written by:

Glenn Walker

The Lyrics

Agents, don't let your clients sign up with the Cowboys.
Don't let 'em pick Dallas, and drive through their lines.
Make 'em be Eagles or Redskins or Lions.
Agents, don't let your clients sign up with the Cowboys.
For "America's" home, but they're always alone,
E'en when surrounded by fans.
Cowboys are easy to hate, and they're hard to condone.
You think T.-O.'s trouble? Just wait 'til they sign Pacman Jones.
Lonestars on helmets, and old faded jerseys, and each play's a cause for alarm.
I don't understand why the league wants them in; they only do other teams harm.

Agents, don't let your clients sign up with the Cowboys.
Don't let 'em pick Dallas, and drive through their lines.
Make 'em be Packers or Seahawks or Lions.
Agents, don't let your clients sign up with the Cowboys.
For "America's" home, but they're always alone,
E'en when surrounded by fans.

Cowboys play in the East, though they live in South Central.
They play all the late games, when there are not that many on.
Invented the "hail mary"; They're wrong and they're diff'rent, and each play is grounds for attack.
They have the cheerleaders, but other than that, there's no cause to keep them intact.

Agents, don't let your clients sign up with the Cowboys.
Don't let 'em pick Dallas, and drive through their lines.
Make 'em be Niners or Chargers or Lions.
Agents, don't let your clients sign up with the Cowboys.
For "America's" home, but they're always alone,
E'en when surrounded by fans.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.3
How Funny: 1.3
Overall Rating: 1.3

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

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CML - March 04, 2024 - Report this comment
Let me tell you how old I am, Glenn. Im so old I can remember when teams dreaded playing Dallas in the playoffs
CML - March 04, 2024 - Report this comment
One more for the road. Im so old I can distinctly remember OJ running away on live TV ... from linebackers and safeties, that is
Glenn Walker - March 04, 2024 - Report this comment
My earliest memories in football were while there was no team in Dallas. It was supposed to be the inaugural year of the AFL. Now most of the details are fuzzy in my mind, but the NFL tried to choke off some good markets. They moved the Cardinals from Chicago to St. Louis, and expanded into Minnesota. The Redskins had blocked Dallas as an expansion city, because they were the only team in the south. The AFL picked Dallas, the Texans. The NFL told the Redskins to shut up, and they expanded to Dallas anyway, the Steers. They were some other name for awhile. Then they switched to the Cowboys. The Texans and the Cowboys played in Dallas together for two years. The Texans won two championships; the Cowboys never won a game, but they drew better crowds. The Texans moved to Kansas City, the Chiefs
CML - March 04, 2024 - Report this comment
First NFL game I ever watched was the end of the 1966 NFL Championship game between Dallas and Green Bay. Winner to go to first Super Bowl (against the Chiefs, no less) Dad was from Milwaukee, so hard core Packer fan. I had three older brothers, who in a fit of older brother @ssh*lery had to root for Dallas; just to piss Dad off ......... So, late in this game, I hear this explosion of energy coming from the TV room and I rush in and see the Cotton Bowl crowd going berzerk .. because Dallas had just scored on a 70 yard TD pass with only 4 minutes to go to get the score to 34-28. Then they worked their way to a 1st and goal at the 2 with less than 2 minutes to go. At which point Dallas flat out chokes and fails to score, and Pack wins. But it such a cool thing to see. The elderbros are razzing Dad, until Meredith throws an interception, then Dad loses it. After that, I was hooked
Gary QuackNamara - March 04, 2024 - Report this comment
Greatest AmIRight story evarrr; yee-haw!!!! Can’t wait for that certain user to use this story for his next obsession, just like he did with my rootin’-tootin’ last day of high school. Is there an emoji for cowboy obsession?
Glenn Walker - March 07, 2024 - Report this comment
CMLIt takes me a few days, but I do come with a good response. I’m so old that each of the Phillies, Eagles, 76ers, and the Flyers have won at least two terminal championships in my lifetime.

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