Ronald was a fast food clown from the Land of Golden Arches
With a Happy Meal for sale, commercials to be made
The deal was made with great care, by a well-known fast food chain
So he set out for McDonalds to join the fast food game

Throughout the country he went, spreading McDonalds's name
Pickles on the burgers, knee-deep in fame
For days and nights he traveled, with children at his sleeves
Happy Meals were his living, and his employers were quite pleased

Ronald the fast food icon...

His comrades stood beside him - Hamburglar and Grimace
But of all the fast food icons, Ronald was most famous
So other restaurants decided, they wanted Ronald dead
That son-of-a-bitch Dave Thomas blew off Ronald's head

Ronald the headless fast food icon
McDonalds's favorite clown
Time, time, time
For another ad campaign
But time stands still for Ronald
They can still see his headless body skipping through the night
In the blinding flash of Ronald's camera crew
In the blinding flash of Ronald's camera crew

Ronald searched the drive-thrus for the man who'd done him in
He found him in a Wendy's, drinking a Frosty
Ronald aimed his giant shoe, he didn't say a word
But he kicked Dave Thomas's body from there to Burger King

Ronald the headless fast food icon...

The eternal fast food icon
Still wandering through the night
Now it's ten years later, but he still is in a plight
In Burger King, in KFC, in Taco Bell, and Arby's
Their managers heard about Ronald's doomed contract and bought it