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Song Parodies -> "Swallowin' a Bible"

Original Song Title:

"Runnin' With The Devil"

Original Performer:

Van Halen

Parody Song Title:

"Swallowin' a Bible"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

This parody was inspired by a story in one of my many strange-news-story books, in which a man choked to death on a pocket-size copy of the Bible in an attempt to rid himself of the devil. However, instead of dying and possibly qualifying for a Darwin Award, the subject of this parody gets committed.
Note: "Napoleon" is best pronounced "Na-pole-yun" with the accent on the second syllable for pacing purposes.)
I live my life with the devil, Satan
My life with God, it has been taken
And now I don’t get to go to Heaven
Yes I'm truly going to H*ll

I’m swallowin’ a Bible
(Gaaa! Aaack!)
Rid me of the Devil

I found that I’m not a Satanic
‘Fore I choked down that book
Ain't got no love, love for the Devil
And I’m chokin’ on that Bible

Go get me a Heimlich
Yes, I'm dyin’
Bible stuck down my throat
Ow! Ow!
I swallowed a Bible
Gullet full o’ paper

(Electric-guitar solo)

I’m in Intensive Care, plain and simple
Strapped in bed, 4-point Posey*
Got a doctor, a good old head-shrinker
And I’m goin’ to the nut ward

Goin’ to the nut house
Yes, I’m really
Clinically I’m mental
I am!
Thinkin’ I’m Napoleon
When I'm just a Joe Blow

*4-point Posey: A restraint device, used in psychiatric hospitals and in in such places as emergency rooms, jails and alcohol-and-drug treatment centers. An acquaintance of the author's was once involuntarily in one for two days as a result of using illegal stimulant drugs in near-overdose amounts.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Lionel Mertens - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Incredulous 5's
Andria - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Lionel.
Christie Marie M - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment
I thought I already commented on this one! I usually don't read parodies with Satanic subjects, but it was very well written. Oh, and thanks for introducing the 4-point posey as well! This is one hell of a story! Swallow on some 5's instead!
Andria - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Christie... the point of the parody isn't Satanism, it's really the shock value and outrageousness.

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