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Song Parodies -> "I Don't Want To Take These Kids To Chucky Cheese"

Original Song Title:

"Refugee"

Original Performer:

Tom Petty

Parody Song Title:

"I Don't Want To Take These Kids To Chucky Cheese"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Now it may not be known as "Chucky Cheese" where you live, but in almost every American Community of any moderately substantial amount of population there is some place like it...a place with really crappy "fun food" that kids just love to eat because they don't know any better...and where they are ENCOURAGED to run amok, holler, yell and yammer to their little hearts and id's contentment and satisfaction/gratification. And IF you are damned and destined to ever HOLD a young child's birthday or other celebratory party (with extra emphasis on the "brat" in "celebratory") you will undoubtedly be nagged into utter spineless senselessness by your child, using all their learned, instinctive, intuitive powers of adult manipulation and guilt, into taking them to "Chucky Cheese"...I mean, if you don't, well, it just makes it that much clearer just how much of an unfit parent and all-around doofus you really are...This Tom Petty OS is from his 1979 album, "Damn The Torpedoes". BTW...According to the numbers on the "Author's Page" listings this will be my 400th Parody Post on Amiright.com - It's been amazing to me to see that type of number next to my name and it's been a whole lot of fun and just a great experience to have done it. I'm not in a hurry, but I hope I'll be able to post at least that many more in the next few years and I hope that the my uniquely odd and varied pieces continue to entertain and, in some cases edify or enlighten, enrage or engage the reader's here. And blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...does this guy EVER stop talking about himself? OH...yeah...right...YOU! Yeah, I hope you enjoy reading this piece as much as I enjoyed writing it and singing it.

[instrumental intro]

Your son's party; we must throw it
There's just no two ways about it
Pain in the rear end, no doubt
But no way to get around it

Those kids
They don't really care what they eat, but my
Son says, "Please, let's go to Chucky Cheese"
But me, I don't want to take those kids to Chucky Cheese
(don't want to take them to Chucky Cheese)

Somehow there must be somewhere else to
Take all of my son's friends
Somewhere else, yeah, someplace where
You can take some young children

Must be
Somewhere where the patter of feet won't be
Aggravating to the folks tryin' to eat
I hope I don't have to take those kids to Chucky Cheese
(I hope there is someplace else to eat)
Sure hope I don't have to take those kids to Chucky Cheese
(sure hope there is someplace else to eat)
NO!

Well, Chucky's is just the worst
I'm sure most Mother's and Father's concur
Chucky's don't appeal to you
A bummer kind of thing to deal with; it is screwed

[instrumental break]

Swear there must be somewhere else we can hold this party for my son
Real close, who'll put up with kid's crap, serve fries and shakes
And the waitress is real patient
Sunday; that is when his party must be
Yeah, when it's done I know I'll be quite relieved
'Cause me, I don't want to take those kids to Chucky Cheese
(Don't want to take them to Chucky Cheese)
No, I don't want to take those kids to Chucky Cheese
(Maybe I'll take them to Dairy Queen)
No way that I want to take those kids to Chucky Cheese
(I'm gonna take them to Dairy Queen)
No you won't, DaddyNo you won't
(You'll take us to Chucky Cheese)

[lyrics in {brackets} below sung to instrumental notes out to fade]
{Oh Jeez, do we have to, kids? Oh, man that sucks}
{"Cause I'd much rather take these kids to Dairy Queen}
{It's much cheaper, too}
{Yeah, I'd rather go down to Dairy Queen}

[instrumentals out to end fade]

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jack Wilson - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Thia is awesome! 555!
Paul Robinson - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Jack ~ ~ ~
alvin rhodes - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
i can SO relate...spent many a dark hour behind those grim walls
John - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Great - can relate. Chucky Cheese's is also called Showbiz Pizza in some locations.
Adagio - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
When some parent says 'party at C.C.' , I groan inwardly. Wonder if ear plugs would help? 5's
Adagio - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Congratulations on 400.
Paul Robinson - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
alvin - dark moments, indeed...John, "Showbiz Pizza", geez...that's not nearly as sucky an image (at least to me) as the name "Chucky Cheese" conjures up...C.C. makes me think of a big, fat, nasty rat...maybe with a nasty old cheap cigar hanging out over his lips...maybe wearing a dirty green fedora hat. But I guess "S.P." conjures up similar evil imagery in your neck of the woods...Adagio, don't/wouldn't we all...they make sure when they build those places to put in absolutely no sound insulation anywhere in the customer dining areas...Pat, thanks, but I don't think I look a day over 80 ~ ~ ~
Adagio - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Ha ha (groan at 'joke')
PMS - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Our town boasts both a Major Magic's and a CC. We have a choice between a fat rat and some poncy looking nutcracker. A real hellhole place for a kids party though is at a minature golf place. All those kids armed with clubs and hopped up on junk food!
Paul Robinson - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
PMS - Ooh! I hadn't thought about the ramifications of something like a Miniature Golf Course kids party...I have to say that "Major Magic's" with the "poncy-looking nutcracker" sounds like the cheesiest of the cheesy so far in this category...do they actually HAVE some poor schmoe dressed up like that in the franchise locations or just some cardboard cut-out leering out from somewhere near the entrance or cash register or whatever? Say, I think it might be interesting to compile a list of the names of these hellholes to see just how cheesy it all can become...there's just GOT to be one of these places out there with a name or mascot or theme just SO totally inappropriate or ludicrous that fits of hysterics will overcome us just at the sight or thought of it...More establishment names, anyone?
Millard - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
An insufferable introduction, very little rhyming, poor punctuation, and I'm still looking for a clever line. How did 6 voters give this all 5s?
Paul Robinson - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Millard, you are a twit...outside of the insufferable introduction, which for the most part was INTENTIONALLY insufferable, this parody works just about perfectly with the ORIGINAL SONG...you've heard of doing that with a PARODY, haven't you? The Original Song, "Refugee", if you bothered to listen to it, does not have much rhyming in it either, except for the extremely repetitive "Don't have to live like a refugee", which I varied several times, particularly in the back-up chorus vocals. You don't like my punctuation, dude? Well, Tom Petty's wasn't so great here, either...try to remember, I'm working with the ORIGINAL SONG and have to try and remain true to the way it SOUNDS or it's not really a PARODY, ya know? Clever lines - well, I think there are a few, but hey, I'm sure nothing that could ever be as clever as your carping seems to demand...You know, man (or woman...whatever), you like to pick and criticize...and I don't really mind legitimate, constructive criticism...but what really annoys me here is that you have the unmitigated gall to criticize people who happen to think my little piece was funny and fun to read and, yeah...maybe even sing along with the Original Song...how awfully low-brow of them - failing to count my run-on sentences or record my grammar/punctuation lapses or bitch about my admittedly over-the-top intro comments...you know what (and I really love using awful English, terrible punctuation, miserable grammar, et al, when I'm responding to a supercilious twit like you. In fact, Millard, although you only deign to come down from the Better Place you reside to visit my works occasionally your remarks never fail to bring out a certain urge to just butcher every conceivable aspect of the English Language - except spelling - that I can think of, because I know how much reading it must push your anally configured buttons). OH...Millard, dear fellow (or fellete, as the case may be), one final thing...you ask, "How did 6 voters give this all 5s?". What, man? Are you freaking blind? Do YOU READ? Because if you did you could have just looked at the FREAKING Comments above yours...I don't think they are all that cryptic or difficult to decipher...They either thought it was funny in some way or, I suspect, perhaps IDENTIFIED with the situation I wrote about...yes, there is humor in everyday life...a parent getting corralled into taking a bunch of children to an annoying pre-fabricated Franchise joint with really bad food and facing the prospect of an afternoon full of tracking those children as they carry on and run wild. So maybe you don't see funny "ha-ha" here...there probably isn't much "funny, ha-ha" in it. My subject and my approach were my specific choices. If I didn't think it would be of any interest to anyone here I wouldn't have bothered to write it, check it innumerable times for pacing and flow and then spend time varying some of the repetitive lyrics that run throughout the original piece. You don't like it...that's fine, really. Hey, man...why not toss us plebian's a bone...write a parody that REALLY is up to your OWN standard so those of us who are not as talented or clever can have an idea of how to do it right. I'll be waiting and I promise not to knock any voter's who like it even if I really think it's crap. Have a pleasant evening or whatever it is wherever you are.
Red Ant - October 13, 2006 - Report this comment
First, congrats on reaching 400 parodies, Paul! Aside from the insufferably long intro (heh heh), this was a good spoof.

I can't back you up on the punctuation (as you may have guessed by now that's not one of my strong suits), but Millard clearly doesn't know the OS and perhaps what "rhymes" are either. I d/l this song and it doesn't rhyme much (as you said), but I noticed the many internal rhymes you got, as well as other forms of rhyme (mainly assonant end-line rhymes) throughout the parody, particularly "Real close, who'll put up with kid's crap.." to "Who knows maybe you were kidnapped".

I don't think the topic of importance of rhyming has been brought up on the messageboard in a while, but it would be interesting to see other's views on it. For me, assonant rhyming works fine 99% of the time, and it did here as well. Where was I? Oh yeah, back to this, I liked Chucky Cheese the first time I went - until I ate my first piece of pseudo-pizza they served me - bleck! They have the worst pizza I've ever eaten; kind of proves eight year olds will eat most anything when surronded by video games (and starving too), lol. 5s.
PMS - October 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Alas there is both a cardboard thing AND a poor schmoe at MM. My favorite kid party was held for my son in my back yard. We gave the kids each a egg-full of silly putty, some ballons of varying shapes , silly string and a roll of toilet paper. And they went nuts. They built stuff, festooned themselves and other things. It was a riot.
Millard - October 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Mr. Robinson " thank you for your response. My question was aimed more at the voters than the author of the parody, but I appreciate your explanation. My question was based on my perception that there is a substantial amount of vote inflation on amiright, and it could have been placed on a number of different parodies. Why did I choose this one? No real reason, other than multiple pet peeves came together at once and I guessed that I might get a reaction from you.

You suggest that an answer to the question might be found in the readers’ comments. But the comments that were placed before mine (and Red Ant’s) were very vague about what distinguished this parody. One called it “awesome” without saying why, and 3 stated that they could relate to the subject matter. I do not expect every comment to be an essay, but I did not find much enlightenment in those comments. Red Ant’s comments were somewhat helpful, but I did not see where he came up with the "Who knows maybe you were kidnapped" line.

Thank you for letting me know that the introduction was intentionally insufferable. I am still trying to determine how that benefits the reader. You also claimed that your parody had multiple clever lines, but left it to my imagination to determine which ones they were.

I do commend you for your pacing and for varying the chorus. But, while many (or most) readers might not have a problem with your rhyming concept, I still take issue. To me, it adds a lot to a parody if it has some clever rhyming; and several good parody writers, including Spaff and Stuart McArthur, find ways to insert rhymes into lines that did not rhyme in the original songs.

Punctuation is not a major component of what makes an excellent parody. But certain elements of punctuation, such as apostrophes, are really quite simple, as spelled out in Phil Alexander’s fun parody, “’Postrophe.”

I know that the comment and question annoyed you, and your calling me a “twit” is probably appropriate since I choose anonymity. But I am not the “1-guy” who chooses to lower the vote averages of you and me and other parodists without saying why. You might appreciate that I did state what my issues were with your parody without leaving a punitive vote. Because, while I appreciate the comments from Red Ant and you, I still don’t see this as better than a 5-3-4 parody.
Red Ant - October 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Millard, the line "Who knows maybe you were kidnapped..." is the original lyric in the song to which Paul wrote "Real close, who'll put up with kid's crap..." Now, I'm not sure where the issue still lies with the rhyming; Paul rhymed "close" to "knows" and "kid's crap" with "kidnapped", which is pretty darned good in my book. Also, "with" vs "where" in that line also makes this easy to sing (I believe that's called something like consonant head rhyme, though I'm not sure). That's just one line I cite here; there are similar lines like that throughout the song.

While I'm not going to debate Stu's or Spaff's (or anyone else's) rhyming choices here, personally I like to see the parody rhyme to the song, or to itself. In cases like this one, where there isn't much rhyming to begin with, what Paul has is perfectly fine to me. It isn't like he tried to rhyme "orange" to "Philadelphia" or anything.

To Paul: Looking over the punctuation, I think "Mother's and Father's" should be "mothers and fathers" to be correct. Then again, since those lines sound identical and I sing what I read, it doesn't matter to me if you used a few apostrophes where they weren't needed.

And Millard, I think your response is pretty good and thorough, even if Paul and I happen to not see things your way
Paul Robinson - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Millard - I appreciate your additional explanation as to how you were viewing my piece. I think Red already dealt with the rhyming issue in his comments, so I don't see any reason to do any further explanation about that. Yeah, that last sentence is truly awful grammer...should never end a sentence with...etc., lol...the "apostrophe" call...well, that is TRULY one of my weak points and all I can do is plead "dyslexia" when it comes to remembering iron-clad rules...yes, I am dyslexic...never actually been diagnosed, but I was tagged a "slow reader" as a child...put into a "Special Group" when in the 3rd grade where they taught me to "FOCUS HARDER"...and that USUALLY does the trick (except when fatigue sets in). However, that only fixed the reading portion, but does not correct the thing in my head that turns "ALWAYS DO THIS" into "DON'T DO THIS" as it works it way from it's initial introduction into my consciousness over to the part of the brain that recalls all this garbage. Anyway, I really don't sweat apostrophes too much...bigger fish to tangle with, you know? I have no problem with things that I can work back through logical sequence, just "set rules", since I can't work them back to the root of the reasoning. OH...yes, I DO appreciate not having my scores dumped on. UH...I might mention that my CONCEPT in itself is rather amusing - at least to my way of thinking - but that's a matter of personal taste and preference again. Thanks, and thanks to Red and PMS as well.
Paul Robinson - October 16, 2006 - Report this comment
PMS - Sorry, I gave short-shrift to your comments because I laser-focused on those of Millard & Red...Yes, the best stuff is the stuff that comes from the mind rather than being introduced from the outside...at least to me. Or as a Mr. Dylan once said in lyric: "Never understood that it ain't no good/you shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you" I think the dude was on to something there, ya know?
Serafina - October 19, 2006 - Report this comment
I just now read this one...I gotta say, it was pretty good! I know how crazy it can get at Chuck e Cheese (yes, my family always referred to it that way too), even though I haven't been to one in over 20 years (I'm 31 now). When I was little, I remember the place being somewhere for kiddies to play around...but things just aren't the same anymore. And now that I think about it, there isn't much healthy food there, either. The problem is, many parents don't teach their kids proper manners and eating habits; my family taught me well, and I hope to pass these habits to my kids someday. I don't have kids yet, but if I ever do, I won't take 'em to Chuck e Cheese. Oh, and before I forget, here's a 5-5-5 vote. ;)
Rafeal De La Ghetto - November 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice work. I can't remember the last time I was at CEC, but I have to agree with the above commentator about how things have changed there over the years, with regard to the crowd and the quality of the food over there. My vote is also 5,5,5.
Blue Ant - November 05, 2006 - Report this comment
I haven't been by the site in a while, so I thought I'd check this one out. In short, I'll just echo what everyone else said.
David Sari - March 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice job on a tough song to parody.
Paul Robinson - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Haven't been present a whole lot of late, so I missed the last few comments. Let me just give a group "Thanks" to Serafina, Rafael, Blue Ant & David Sari. I appreciate your votes and remarks ~ ~ ~

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