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Song Parodies -> "(It's Fun To Reroute Your) L-I-M-A"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

The Village People

Parody Song Title:

"(It's Fun To Reroute Your) L-I-M-A"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The Left Internal Mammary Artery (LIMA) is a humble little artery whose ludicrous function is, apparently, to keep my vestigial male nipple well supplied with oxygen. That is, until thoracic surgeons found a nobler calling for it -- preventing death from coronary artery disease. Basically, it's as if The Good Lord had stashed a spare coronary artery, right there near the heart. It has no meaningful function and it's a perfect fit for The Maker of Widows itself -- the Left Anterior Descending Artery ....... BTW, this song was first performed by a group of gay thoracic surgeons from San Francisco who call themselves "The Cabbage People" For those who have a need to understand how truly dreadful that last pun was, please check the bottom comments
Old man! Are you feeling run down? I said
Old man! Just collapsed to the ground? I said
Old man! Cause you're ticker's unsound
There's no need to be occluded
Old man! There's a tube in your chest, I said
Old man! It's the graft that works best
We can USE IT! And I'm sure you will find
Many ways to ease your angine
(Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!)

It's fun to reroute your L-I-M-A!
It's fun to reroute your L-I-M-A!
It's got everything; restores the flow to your heart
You can rehab with all the farts
It's fun to reroute your L-I-M-A!
It's fun to reroute your L-I-M-A!
You can get yourself fixed; you can bypass the plaque
You can forestall that heart attack

Old Man! Are you listening to me. I said
Old Man! Clogged in your LAD. I said
Old Man! This is stuff of nightmares
But we got .. the thing .. to repair
Dont want .. to repeat this event. I say
Old Man! Lose your faith in a stent
We'll just go there .. get the LIMA
In the end, this is the best way
(Thump! Thump! Thump! Thump!)

It's fun to re-route your L-I-M-A!
It's fun to re-route your L-I-M-A!
It's got everything to quell your sudden death fears
You can hang on for sev'ral years
It's fun to re-route your L-I-M-A!
It's fun to re-route your L-I-M-A!
We'll just yank it straight down; no need to harvest a vein
You can walk 'round without any pain

Old man! I was once in this room I said
I felt .. sense of impending doom. I felt
No way .. would I leave here alive
I felt sure my chart would flat line. That's when ..
Surgeons .. all came to me. And said
Old man! This graft is now quite routine.
It's just .. right there, near your LADA
You'll be out of here in three days
(Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!)

It's fun to work with your L-I-M-A!
It's fun to work with your L-I-M-A!
It's got everything to make your heart beat just right
It'll keep you awake at night
L-I-M-A! We'll fix it with the L-I-M-A
Old man, old man, there's no need to be down
Old man, old man, cause your ticker's unsound

L-I-M-A! We'll fix it with the L-I-M-A .....

The official name for a bypass is Coronary Artery Bypass Graft or CABG, pronounced as cabbage. As for the rest of the pun ... well, you're an intelligent human being, you'll figure it out

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - June 22, 2016 - Report this comment
I figured that 014 days from my job as a medical transcriptionist should give me a rest from heart attacks, ocklusions and angina - have to go for 555 next time I guess. Well done, keep the old ticker going!
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec - June 22, 2016 - Report this comment
A LIMA graft might keep your heart 'pumping' right ('beating' implying rhythm isn't quite as good. here). Also, I don't get LIMA keeping you awake at night - it does reduce the chance of nocturnal death! But you've got the coronary anatomy pinned down this time! Good rollicking OS - and I almost believed in the "CABG People" for a moment. 5s.
Callmelennie - June 22, 2016 - Report this comment
I'm talking about the fact that once all the blockages were bypassed (five in total) my heart was beating stronger that it had in years, and the sound of it did interfere with getting to sleep -- until I got used to it. ..... My insurance paid for several visits by an in-home nurse and she marveled at the strength of my heartbeat -- "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you; I'm just showing up to listen to your heart!" So I replied, "That's funny, because it only starts beating like that when you SHOW UP!"
John Lomain - June 22, 2016 - Report this comment
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec, again - June 23, 2016 - Report this comment
BTW. You probably missed a parody I wrote about another old-man's-medical-problem: sports injuries, also written from the standpoint of a sufferer. To search (punctuate carefully) "R-I-C-E".
Callmelennie - June 23, 2016 - Report this comment
Funny you should bring that up, Doc. Last week, I strained my knee doing a set of 100 one-legged squats using 500 lbs, So I went to my wannabe knee specialist, Dr RICE-T, who gave me the same advice -- "R-I-C-E, R-I-C-E, baby"
Callmelennie - June 23, 2016 - Report this comment
BTW, Dr GCd, if you check your parody, you'll see that I made that very same pun in the comments. So I was either sleep-posting when I wrote that or I actually did see your parody.

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