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Song Parodies -> "Can't Stand Converting You"

Original Song Title:

"Can't Stand Losing You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Stand Converting You"

Parody Written by:

Elgin Edward

The Lyrics

This is a parody about religious intolerance. It is also a commentary about the "commercialization" of religion in America. It was originally inspired by a Johnny Carson monologue regarding "Jehovah's Witnesses" and "no pest strip"...
I call Jews so many times today,
And I guess it's all true what their Rabbi said,
That they don't ever wanna see me again,
And their lawyer's gonna sue me just because he can,
I guess you'd call it "harassment,"
If you don't convert, it's embarrassment...

I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing...
I can't, I can't, I can't stand "schmoozing..."
I can't, I can't, I can't ...

I can't stand losing you...
I can't stand "schmoozing" you...
I can't stand losing you...
I can't stand "schmoozing" you...

I see you 've sent our Bibles back,
And the picture of Jesus and its all scratched,
I can't see the point in the "pow'r" of prayer,
When you just don't seem to give a care,

You can call it simply a lack of faith,
But the sanctuary here is full of hate...

I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing...
I can't, I can't, I can't stand choosing...
I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing...
I can't, I can't, I can't stand choosing...
I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing...
I can't, I can't, I can't stand choosing...

(Doorbell rings)
(Door slams)
"Owww!"

I guess this is your final chance
And you should reconsider your stance,
For you'll be sorry, time will tell,
'Cause you all soon will be rotting in Hell...

I guess you'd call it blasphemy,
You dare to question my philosophy...

I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing,
I can't, I can't, I can't stand "schmoozing..."
I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing,
I can't, I can't, I can't stand "schmoozing..."
I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing,
I can't, I can't, I can't stand "schmoozing..."
I can't, I can't, I can't stand choosing...,
I can't, I can't, I can't stand cruising...,
I can't, I can't, I can't stand bruising...,
I can't, I can't, I can't stand using...,
I can't, I can't, I can't stand losing,
I can't, I can't, I can't stand "schmoozing..."
I can't, I can't, I can't stand...

I can't stand "losing" you...

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 2.0
Overall Rating: 2.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   2
 0
 0
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

QC79 - March 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Good pacing. That's about it.
esuiter - March 18, 2008 - Report this comment
It's not supposed to be hilariously drole. It is a social commentary about the status quo in a certain place...

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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