Do you remember there was much ado (woh-oh-oh)
When Claudio, you said, “Hero, we’re through!” (woh-oh-oh)
Having fallen for the evil scheme
That Don John used to make her a wanton seem?

Just as Othello was Iago’s dupe, (woh-oh-oh)
You, Claudio, bought into Don John’s scoop (woh-oh-oh)
But ’cause this one is not a tragic play
A happy ending saved your love that day …

Dogberry, Dogberry, constable chief,
He’s top citizen cop in Messina
A hero for Hero he made the score zero for Don John
Dogberry, Dogberry, comic relief,
He was also "god-inna-machine-a"**
He and the Watch in the nick of time scotched bastard son.

Claudio, Hero should have dumped you!
You were so, prepared shout "Untrue!"
So unjust!
Where’s your trust?
Fancied lust
Could've cost you all that day.

(music)

How come you’re ready to believe at once (who-oh-oh)
Any old lie ... are you a total dunce? (who-oh-oh)
Instead of one quick to don the cuckold’s horns
Hero wants a hero who false gossip scorns …

Dogberry, Dogberry, featherhead fuzz,
He’s a malaprop cop in Messina
A hero for Hero he made the score zero for Don John
Dogberry, Dogberry, here's the true buzz:
He was also "god-inna-machine-a" --
He and the Watch in the nick of time scotched bastard son.

(music)

Dogberry, Dogberry, guardian Gump,
Tho’ nincompoop narc in Messina
A hero for Hero he made the score zero for Don John
Dogberry, Dogberry, not just a chump,
He was also "god-inna-machine-a" --
He and the Watch in the nick of time scotched bastard son.