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Song Parodies -> "Cop Of The World"

Original Song Title:

"Top Of The World"

Original Performer:

The Carpenters

Parody Song Title:

"Cop Of The World"

Parody Written by:

U Guest It

The Lyrics

There has been Bush-bashin' parodees
That ain't simply not acceptable t' mee
Don't you know we's at war?
And what we's fighting for
Is the right to sacrifice our libertees
One ideal is clear upon mah mind:
Our devotion to our leaders must be blind!
And before I am dun
I will vote 1-1-1
To each trait'rous bit of dogg'rel that I find...

Cause I'm the cop of the world, and I will
Bash all creations I consider descrations to 'The Cause'!
And before I am through
I'll leave vile comments too!
When I'm pissed, I can be cop of the world...

'Nother things I jes' won't understand
Is the sight of two grown fellers holding hainds
I don't know whut that is
Guys and guys can't make kids!
Love jes ain't supposed to work from man-to-man...
Some these fellers itch to bond fer life
If you want to bond, son, get yerselfs a wife!
Cuz you two, cain't you see, cain't be 'married' like me
Why do YOU deserve this sufferin' an' strife?

See I'm the cop of the world, and I'll set
Down regulations so you weird 'no procreation' teams cain't hitch!
So be 'partners' okay, but hey, 'married?" hell, no WAY!
Can't allow that -- I'm the cop of the world...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 1.9
How Funny: 1.5
Overall Rating: 1.5

Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   16
 2   0
 3   1
 4   2
 5   3

User Comments

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SickOfYouTypes - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
I guess nobody's allowed to have an opinion but you, huh?
Red Ant - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
I thought this was very well written and clever satire. Lots of good wordplay here. Lovely accent, too. Welcome back, L.., err, U Guest It.
U Guest It - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks, L.., err, Red Ant...???
That'sRight - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Here on Amiright, it's the far flaming left, and only the far flaming left who're allowed to have opinions. Actual scientists, theologians, historians, and artists need not apply.
The Gay Voice - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Whatever 'That's Right'. . .you see this song right here? Heard of Linda Tehrene?? and don't even get me started on Scientists. . .everyone on AmIRight has their own opinion. . .and as for 'the flaming left' they aren't rushing to make it equal for everyone yet either, so I don't understand where you get flaming, is that just because extremists like you think we should die? To each their own
The Straight Facts - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
Linda Terhune, you mean, the one your pals gave all those 111s? And now its not faaair when someone does unto you what you like to do unto others, huh? Well, tough! In case you haven't noticed, life's not fair. In fact, the materialistic worldview you've stated you believe, if it were true, would mean that not only is life not fair, but there isn't even any such thing as being fair: there is no inherent right, no fairness, no justice, and no petition for redress anywhere in the material universe. If materialism is true, all that jazz in the Constitution or the Bible or whatever the heck it is you believe is just a bunch of ink scribblings on a piece of paper. One could even make the case that there's no such thing as life, just a lot of collections of chemicals that happen to be a lot more complex than other collections. It is not unreasonable to prefer the death of all the world to the scratching of one's finger, let alone the dissolution of a few chemical configurations born of purely random and unguided processes, such as you claim to be. So, what's wrong with killing gays? Muslims have been killing them for centuries, and so far no god and no force of the universe has even registered a complaint with them. Even if you could prove there's something wrong with killing gays, what about the ones already killed? Doesn't the fact that the injustice to them can never be undone mean that your quest for justice is futile and absurd? Think it over.
alvin - May 05, 2007 - Report this comment
some people will automatically believe everything written in here is autobiographical but i'm guessing this isn't the case here.... randy newman got hate mail for writng "yellow man","rednecks" and even "short people" for cryin' out loud,when he was merely stating an opinion from a theoretical person's pinhead point of view
The Gay Voice - May 06, 2007 - Report this comment
"U Guest It", before I go on this little rebuttle, I realize this isn't about gay bashing, so please don't think I mean this towards you. Now, "The Straight Facts". . .my first thing is I don't have to prove there is anything wrong with it. . .KILLING ANYONE is wrong regardless of who they are and there is nothing absurd about a quest to end it. If you polled all Industrialized Nations about wether or not they think it's ok to kill people who are gay, I can bet with fair certainty that at least 85% would say IT IS NOT OK, even Republican Extremists don't say it's ok to kill someone for being gay. As for muslims, that is not true. True Muslims DON'T think it's alright. . .the ones you are referring to are actually extreme government positions in the middle east who have been fighting each other for centuries. . .not exactly a stable reference to use in a debate. Adolf Hitler once killed gays. . .they were "an abomination to Christ" he would say, he also said that of Jews, people with brown or red hair, people who had brown eyes. . .need I go on? Blind hatred is wrong, and even a preacher will tell you that. Doesn't matter what religion, what race, most people feel murder is the wrong way to do things. Those who don't end up doing something stupid and go down in infamy for it like Hitler, or Abortion Clinic suicide bombers. . .I mean, Saddam Hussein was just hung because of his killing of many groups which included gays. . .No one ever said life is fair, I can't change that, but if I reach even one person who doesn't understand that gay is not a person, but part of a person then my time is worth it. As much as I disapprove of Linda's extreme opinions, I don't bother voting on her because we just have extremely different opinions. . .as for my pals. . .I have a lot of pals, some of them are Republican and agree with some of her viewpoints, so that's a hit and miss. I don't hate straight people the way you hate gay people. . .I don't hate Republicans the way you hate Democrats, and I don't hate that which I do not understand the way you blindly do. As for the ones already killed, that's precisely why this must be done. Ooooooo. . .and please explain what you mean by "now its not faaair when someone does unto you what you like to do unto others" . . .I don't recall saying anything like that. Everyone is entitled their own opinion, and everyone is also entitled to disagree. . .that's what I am doing, disagreeing with you. Linda is extreme, I find her parodies to be very unrealistic, and before you get there--while I generally agree with Michael Pacholek's opinions, I feel he is sometimes extreme too, I likewise don't tend to comment as those type of parodies are rearely very funny. I don't know how anyone could find "But Kill the Babies" funny. It's not. Abortion isn't a topic I'm largely engaged in, obviously it's not a choice I'll ever have to make, but to make a parody of that nature--it goes to far on a site that disallows killing and murder in their parodies
U Guest It - May 06, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey everyone, thanks for reading! And writing. And writing. And writing. And writing. :-)
The Straight Facts - May 06, 2007 - Report this comment
First, I'm saying "you" in the plural. You, individually, may not have blackballed Linda, but Michael Pacholek and some extremely arrogant leftist Bush-hater and Christian-hater named Immoral Liberal and a good many others you praise and admire certainly did. I notice you make a lot of assumptions about me too in assuming that I hate you and am out to kill you. (That's "you" in the plural again.) No, I'm very much a believer in forgiveness and mercy, though not "tolerance" as your left-wing friends would define it. The problem is, just saying "killing is wrong" won't convince anyone who does kill and believe we ought to kill that killing is at all wrong. Neither will appealing to an obvious caricature of religion as a model for what you think people of that religion really believe accomplish anything except to discredit you by revealing your ignorance. FYI, plenty of people agree with me that some killing is good and right and ought to be done. We just don't agree on who ought to be killed. Those abortionists you condemn the bombers for killing are themselves killing little unborn babies all the time. The Muslims, in spite of your overly optimistic view of them, do tend to view you (and an enormous number of others) very much the same way those abortionists view those little babies; it is not "blind hatred" as you suppose that motivates them, but cold and calculating hatred (as well as lust and greed) that is regularly blessed and reinforced in their scriptures, the religious leadership that has grown up around those scriptures, and the societies they've conquered with those scriptures in hand. Yes, there does tend to be a consensus in civilized nations that one shouldn't go around killing unbelievers; in Islamic theocracies, the consensus runs very much the other way, and every victory they score against the West, whether on the battlefield or in the media, reinforces their belief in that consensus very strongly. Unfortunately, it seems to me that everyone who preaches a wimpy doctrine of "tolerance" anything like yours will prove all too easy for them to conquer (and massacre) as the Muslim theocracies go on spreading their "faith" at the point of a sword while people like you keep on preaching to everyone that we'll all be fine if we just lay aside our swords (or, less figuratively, our guns and armor), pull the curtains, and pretend that Allah and his followers aren't really out there doing exactly what they've said all along they plan to do. While Islam has plenty of corruption and ulterior motives in it, just as any large movement usually does, it remains that your faith in some myth of inherent human goodness, founded on the airy and fickle consensus of a bunch of lazy and overfed optimists, stands no chance at all against their robust belief in their violently acquisitive demon of a god, whose material consequences and VERY material rewards to his followers they see all around them (with promises of more to come). You can't beat something with nothing, which is what you're trying to do. This lethargic doctrine of tolerance you're preaching doesn't even convince me you have anything to offer us but fleeting popularity with a bunch of ignorant slackers. What can you possibly tell a people whose faith has (apparently) gotten them great oil wealth, up to four very subservient wives, and promises of a river of wine, 72 virgins, and "boys like undiscovered pearls" that would convince them to give up the deal they've got for popularity with the effeminate society they have every reason to believe they'll soon have in their grip anyway? In any case, nothing you've said thus far impresses or persuades me at all. That's pretty much all there is to say, and I'd best stop here before I start repeating myself. U Guest It, sorry for taking up your space, but that's how things shake out sometimes. As for you, Gay Voice, you're not likely to hear much more calm and rational discussion like this in places such as these. If you've got something to say in your songs, go ahead and say it, but the poor level of moderation here coupled with the heavy infestation of feverishly raving Bush-haters makes this more a place to vent than to converse. You want reasoned discussion, go find a well-moderated forum.
Immoral Liberal - May 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Ah, The Straight Facts drank the Kool Aid. Straight Facts you ignorant fascist, my quest was only to have Terloon's lies removed, not her ideas. And I did, thank you very much. While I do hate Bush - afterall, he is evil - I don't hate Christians. But I certainly don't want the Christian ideology infiltrating our daily lives - nor do I want the values of any other religion trying to establish a national religion. Obviously, you are one of the only 28% in the country who think the a-hole in the White House is doing a good job. Great, it shows your intelligence - so keep on drinking that Kool Aid (it makes Bush look a lot better, doesn't it?) BUSH LIED, AMERICANS DIED.
U Guest It - May 07, 2007 - Report this comment
C'mon, at least a 4 for pacing, dood! :-P
Kiss my big fat one, IL - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
If we removed all the lies on this site, Pacholek and Tong and Riol and you would all have been kicked and banned long ago. Yes, the truth would be too much for you, wouldn't it? That's why you've got to keep sucking on that bong, to shut out the Christians you hate so much and keep them from getting to you. So, been reading Weak News this week, huh? Better read it while you can--its circulation is plummeting like a stone, just like that of all your deranged hophead pals on here. In polls that don't oversample your suicidal party's mindless members as Weak News does, Bush still has at least 40%, and his rating has been creeping back up since he stiffened his spine and made you suck his veto. Here's hoping he does it again. Now, SUCK MY VETO, Idiot Liar.
Ooh! Lookit this! - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
IL's crackhead buddies in France are burning motorcycles in the streets because Bush's new ally Sarkozky just won the election in France. Busy spreading all that TOLERANCE the good old fascist way, huh, IL? What a way to fight global warming, too!
U Guest It - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Okay, I'm tired of all these rambling comments and FAKE repeat votes by one or two people. How can I get this parody taken off the site so I can put it up again? Hopefully the IDIOTS will stay away. Unless they have nothing better to do except dribble on and on again...
Immoral Liberal - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Pot Smoker - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey, Kiss my big fat one, IL - you're finally correct with one of your rants. Yes, we need to keep sucking the bong to keep away the intolerant Christians like you. It's hard to handle the truth isn't it? Tell me, are you ever allowed to think for yourself or is it all Kool-aid induced talking points? You know, seriously, you really do sound like an idiot. I mean here you are defending an unjust war where thousands of innocent Americans have been maimed or killed and tens of thousands of innocent Iraqi's have suffered the same fate. And you are proud of this? You can honestly stand there with a straight face and support a war that was started because your party lied? I'm sure that you've forgotten so let me refresh your kool-aid saturated memory - it's Bin Laden, STUPID. And finally, keep your bible to yourself, the Constitution is the law of the land in America and you and your fascist friends aren't going to change it - no matter what year Dubya thinks was the bicentennial.
Anti-Terloon - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Is Linda Terloon back in drag?
Anti-IL - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
IL, you need help. Seriously.
Proud Killer - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes, I am, IL. The war is just, legal, based on the truth (that Saddam was aiding Al Qaeda), and has claimed the lives and limbs of tens of thousands of your jihadist pals, who all deserve to suffer horribly just as you do. Of course I'm proud of seeing your pals suffer and burn! Your traitor party is the party that has lied and lied and lied and tried to aid and comfort the terrorists at every turn, while my party has dug up piles and piles of evidence in support of the truth while killing your terrorist buddies. Bin Laden is with Saddam Hussein, just as you will be unless you succumb to the seduction of that Bible which is apparently so strong that you have to smoke weed until you can't read straight in order to keep from being persuaded by it. Obviously, you had to smoke a lot to keep from actually reading the Constitution, too, and realizing it unambiguously outlaws all gun control and almost everything else your party has been trying to impose on us. And hey, the French Dubya just beat Royal in France! TERRORISTS DIED, POTHEADS CRIED! Sucks to be you, IL. Better hit that bong again.
Realist - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
You can pray to your false BOOK as much as you want, the book that gets changed every time the BOOK is found to be wrong. . .it is only a bible for sheep. . .I have never smoked anything in my life. . .I've never been a traitor either. Republicans have done everything they can to SIDESTEP the constitution, and ruling the land by the bible is against the constitution too if YOU read it. Freedom of Religion!!!! Ever heard of that? Freedom from your FALSE brainwashing. Science proves things, but people like you don't care--you believe what you believe, even if those you believe once had a man hung for saying the world wasn't flat, had people killed for feeling that a black man has just as much right to live as a white man, a book that was once used to justify the slaying of thousands upon thousands of innocent Jewish Children and people with brown hair, a book that was used to defend Abortion Clinic Bombings, a book that has been used for one hateful purpose after another . . .though it in and of itself does not advocate hate, and those who use it that way fail to realize it. I know I'm wasting my breath, it does NOT matter that their is only one true judge, I'll take my chance WITH HIM, not some book written by MEN who once said the Sun revolves around us and had people killed who disagreed. I will follow my heart, you can follow your book. . .in the end, your mouthing off and support of murder. . .will be seen as the hateful, spiteful monster you ARE, and your character Satan will welcome you into his hell. . .
Shut Yer Mouths - May 08, 2007 - Report this comment
hey, everyone shut the fvck up already! Geesh!
Website Editor - May 09, 2007 - Report this comment
U Guest It, if you'd like to resubmit this parody please contact ChuckyG - it's obvious to me as well this parody was chain voted 1s, and 90% of the comments here have nothing to do with it.
Phil Alexander - May 09, 2007 - Report this comment
I'll echo what Red Ant said - I thought this was cleverly-written and beautifully tongue-in-cheek :-)
Below Average Dave - May 09, 2007 - Report this comment
I am not familiar with the original enough to vote, but 13 1's does seem like an awful lot for a song that based on the comments should be more 50/50
Immoral Liberal - May 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Proud Killer - exactly what I expected you to say and exactly why people like you are literally killing this country. Wake up and smell the hemp - Saddam had nothing to do with 9/11 - you have been brainwashed. (Better to bong again then to be born again.)
Dave - May 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Parody: 5-5-5, Comments:0-0-0

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