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Song Parodies -> "Thighs of the Tiger"

Original Song Title:

"Eye of the Tiger"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Survivor

Parody Song Title:

"Thighs of the Tiger"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

After Wednesday's disgraceful entries, I decided the time has come to dust off a particularly felicitous line that has been running around in my head and write the rest of the song around it. Let's see if you can spot it. Over the years I have been following the career of a mad genius who dreams of world conquest at the head of an army of clones. His last try didn't turn out so well:http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/barrysadler6.shtml. I just caught up with him to see what he has been doing lately. Hope the mutineers don't track him down.
(Long, long instrumental introduction. Like, when are you going to start singing, anyway?)

Hiding out, here at the zoo
Laying low, threats of stoning
Spun the test tubes, made some creatures brand new
Still a man with the urge to clone life

Seems every day, I get an idea
While trading glory for safety
Turning dreams into some animals queer
Gives me chills just to view them alive

Took the thighs of a tiger and the claws of a hawk
Sewed them onto the belly of a warthog
And as the vast crowds of patrons pay their money to gawk
He'll be watching them back with the eyes--of a goldfish

Splicing genes, here in the lab
Half a hare, half a donkey
Grab a swordfish and then I'll take a stab
Stand too close and you may not survive

Breed a gnat with a chigger, add a banty hen's clucks
I'll admit that the concept is outrageous
Just last week I thought I'd cross a flock of pheasants with ducks
I can't wait 'til I've posted their name on the cages

Give 'em wings, sure, pigs can fly
If they fall, somewhat gory
Just got some stem cells I'm itching to try
It's demand and the skill to supply

Keep an eye on the turnstile, give some thrills to the crowd
Cashing in, meet the challenge, making money
Come see my sloth-hybrid-peacock, rather lazy, but proud
And he's watching us all with the eyes--of potatoes

A thigh of a tiger
Good-bye to the tiger
The Home of the Liger
He swallowed a jogger
Hey, pour me a lager
Liger. Infamous crossbreed of a Lion and a Tiger. Security code for this submission 4GR. Took 4 tries to send it.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2
 3
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   7
 8
 7
 

User Comments

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Callmelennie - April 03, 2015 - Report this comment
It's the "5's" of the Tiger, it's the groan of the pun
Rob Arndt - April 03, 2015 - Report this comment
5s for the parody, but what's so infamous about a Liger (biggest cat in the world at 1200 lbs)? There are also Tigons and Pumapards, and other unknown cryptozoological types sighted all over the world. The traditional 17 big cat listing needs updating!
Patrick - April 03, 2015 - Report this comment
These big kitties are mating on their own without human intervention? That's interesting. I've been wanting to write this one for a long time. I think there were a number of "Liger" related parodies of this song a few years ago. Leo reminded me a couple weeks ago about my cloning parodies.
Rob Arndt - April 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Patrick, cross breeding isn't cloning. Also, for real interest, the Nazis back bred the extinct Tarpan horse and Aurok cattle as well as created the first animal rights laws.
Patrick - April 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Perhaps Frankensteinian tampering with nature might be a better term, though much harder to rhyme. Saw a video from Poland on youtube yesterday. Nice heard of European bison. Guess they are rather scarce there, same as here. Didn't one of the German princes slaughter the last wild Aurochs as a dinner gift to one of his cronies? I have heard of theories about restoring some now extinct African gazelle or zebra by tapping the DNA found in a rug or wall mounted hide. Or using genes from frozen Siberian mammoths to splice with modern elephants. Wouldn't that draw a crowd to a circus? Of course, the circuses aren't going to use elephants any more. Not sure what will take their place. I once attended a circus which had a large, printed sign explaining the skin disease that afflicted their elephants. The sign showed the wear of much exposure to weather. So these animals had been sick for a long time.
Jonathan - April 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Patrick please forgive me for being a decade policeman here but the original song is actually from the 80s not the 70s not that that diminishes my enjoyment of this in anyway it was bloody hilarious! I just have one question pheasants + ducks? what's so interesting about that name combination... oh... "blushes" 5's
Rob Arndt - April 04, 2015 - Report this comment
Patrick, the Germans hunted them for the prize of the horns... which they crafted and drunk from. The Poles killed the last of the Aurochs in the early 1600s. Heck cattle are as close as you can get to original species. The Thylacine or Tasmanian Tiger (more like a striped marsupial wolf) is the most anticipated extinct species people want back. Watch the movie "The Hunter", it will move you to tears. After that it's mammoths from DNA impregnated elephants. Purists criticized the Hecks but that is what scientists will be doing with DNA and animal breeding- trying to get back to the original species using manipulation and breeding techniques. SS also worked on artificial lab organisms in WW2 and resurrection technology. They created synthetic blood and blood plasma for SS troops (Capain and Periston). FYI.
Patrick - April 04, 2015 - Report this comment
I used to see passenger pigeons in museums in Indiana and Michigan. I wonder if any DNA from that once prolific species now survives, and if it could be spliced into a modern dove or pigeon. I've always wished I could see a real herd of bison, in the millions, they way they were before the deliberate slaughter. A flight of passenger pigeons blotting out the sun would be spectacular, but perhaps a bit hazardous to stand under. With passenger pigeons and bison, it wasn't only that the individuals are attractive, but that their numbers were spectacular. And A single buffalo, while cool, is just not the same as a herd. Jonathan, you caught the line I had in my head. Thought it up years ago, but it took til now to write the rest of the song. I couldn't remember which "Rocky" premiered the song "Eye of The Tiger". One of the local stations kept running the whole series last year and they all started to blend into each other. Better not mention that insect splice. A little bug that could get a scientist into big trouble.

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