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Song Parodies -> "I Quit Today"

Original Song Title:

"Come Sail Away"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Styx

Parody Song Title:

"I Quit Today"

Parody Written by:

Chris Caillouet

The Lyrics

I’ve been tobacco-free now for more years than I can count, but it took me an awful lot of tries. This parody pays homage to that struggle and demonstrates that it is possible to succeed if one Styx to it.
I’m quitting today
Tossed my smoking butt to the virgin sea
But I’ve got to be free
Free to break the glass in emergencies

We all know shit happens
The cravings grow
I may lack the power
To just say no
But I’ll try – why not? – I’ll try
To kick the butt

I look to the “C”
In everything from “Cake” to “Chawklit ice cream”
Such craving, so sad
I think of nicotine, and the fits are bad

Will it torment me forever?
It will I suppose
But perhaps it will wane
When I’m grey and old
So I’ll try, in spite of myself
To kick the butt

I gathered up all my friends
Then jumped up on my bed
They gazed up in astonishment
’Cuz this is what I said, I said

I quit today! I quit today! I gave up nicotine, lads!
I quit today! I quit today! I gave up nicotine!
I quit today! I quit today! I gave up nicotine, lads!
I quit today! I quit today! I gave up nicotine!

I thought that they were my friends
But to my dismay
They scratched their heads and shrugged some
Then slowly backed away, saying

Hey, who was he? Hey, who was he? Hey, who the hell was that guy?
Hey, who was he? Hey, who was he? Hey, who the hell was he?!
Hey, who was he? Hey, who was he? Hey, who the hell was that guy?
Hey, who was he? Hey, who was he? Hey, who the hell was he?!
[cough] Copyright © 2015 by Chris Caillouet. All rights reserved.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.6
How Funny: 2.4
Overall Rating: 2.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 4
 4
 
 2   3
 2
 2
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

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Jonathan - January 28, 2015 - Report this comment
congrats on how ever many years you've had that habit kicked! :) 5's
Chris Caillouet - January 28, 2015 - Report this comment
I think it's about 20 years now - wow! Thanks Jonathan.
Patrick - January 30, 2015 - Report this comment
Took me a couple days to find this. Very well done. The original starts slow and then builds to an exciting climax, much like a smoker must feel when he finally frees himself from the habit.
Chris Caillouet - January 31, 2015 - Report this comment
I finally got enough parodies published to get my own author page, so all the madness is more easily accessible now. Glad you liked it, Patrick.

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