It's six o'clock; I'm making me an omelette to eat
When suddenly, a cucumber lands on my feet.
He says he has no life 'cos his home's near the sink.
How can a plant speak or even think?
He's just a cucumber, what else can I say?
Plants don't talk in reality.

It's six o'clock; I don't know why they're trav'lling with me.
Larry and Bob, they want to go see the French peas.
I now have all the shame 'cos that bad cucumber
Is full of emptiness; I won't get any slumber.
They want me to see films made for little kids.
I won't buy any of their vids.

Refrain.
Veggies we hate
Are Junior Asparagus
And Bob and Larry and some more.
Veggies we hate
Can talk like people can,
But it's become a great big bore.

(Long instrumental solo)

(Refrain 2x)