Heyyy hey…I’m home baby
Like a fool I went an’ boozed too long…now I’m wobblin’ an’ my gait’s all wrong
Ooh baby, here I am, blind drunk, I’m hammered an’ yours…mmm

Pissed on wine, I fart in bed then try…for some crack but then I hear you cry
Ooh baby, you’re a bum, blind drunk, you’re hammered an’ coarse…yeah

Here I am baby…oh oh…I’ve got my todger in my hands…ahhh
Here I am baby…oh oh…I want my todger in your hands…hell yeah

I’m up for hot an’ toolish things…but you’re really not so keen
Nay lay…there there…hidden pie…no maybe

Downed a lot of booze an’ I’ve just hurled…up from my tum now all on my girl
Ooh baby, here I am, blind drunk, I’m bladdered an’ yours…oh, I’m yours

Gooey babe, I’ve wrecked your whole attire…and now it’s in your eye, oh, don’ be a crier
Ooh baby, here I am, blind drunk, I’m mullered an’ yours…yeah

Cheese an’ ham maybe, oh oh, you’ve got the puke all on your hands, babe…yeah
Peas an’ lamb maybe, oh oh, you’ve got the puke all on your hands, baby, yeah

Not up for hot an’ toolish things…coz I’m lookin’ kinda green
Head now in a toilet pan, yeah, oh
I’m still throwin’, it’s not slowin’ babe, oh
Piece of lamb maybe
Piece of ham maybe
Piece of spam maybe