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Song Parodies -> "Mild Norseman"

Original Song Title:

"Wild Horses"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Rolling Stones

Parody Song Title:

"Mild Norseman"

Parody Written by:

K. Letterman

The Lyrics

Viking living
Was bloody and cruel
The things Leif wanted
Were cultured, subdued

Figure skating
His spins were quite grand
Indulged wine and new shoes
Well-coiffed and tan

Mild Norseman
Baked the best cheese soufflé
Mild, mild Norseman
For desert made sorbet

Swords gave him shudders
And blood made him faint
Ships he would ride in
He thought they looked quaint

Leif had no venom
No battle cries
He’d make guests feel comfy
And serve teas sublime

Mild Norseman
Wouldn’t swing mace in fray
Mild, mild Norseman
Never made bad latte

Leif liked to knit too
The best coats and ties
Yoga brought freedom
And helped clear his mind

Praise words were spoken
When Leif did die
No more fandango
No more pot pies

Mild Norseman
Couldn’t make bad parfait
Mild, mild Norseman
Liked to throw small soirees

Mild Norseman
Not the least bit profane
Mild, mild Norseman
Was truly great Dane

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Hagar the Happy - October 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Is this a reference to Leif Ericsson and friends? Christopher Columbus WAS NOT the first outsider to visit the New World. He did bring greed, doom and genocide to the Americas. Leif and Eric the Red and other Norsemen (Vikings) visited North America over 500 years before Columbus and they explored, traded but did not conquer or exploit the Native Americans.
James Dennon - October 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Wrong! Both the Chinese and Phoenicians were there much earlier.
K. Letterman - October 29, 2016 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments.
I was actually referring to Leif's cousin, Leif Motorola. He wasn't as well known as Ericsson. But there is one story that recounts how Leif wasn't always cultured. After a severe blow to the head during a particularly intense backgammon game, Leif's personality changed. He became violent and fought constantly, so much so that his good friend, Ansgar the Wet, handed him over to the police. When the police asked Ansgar why he gave them his friend, Ansgar said "He's so agressive, and has never been that way before. So I'm turning over a new Leif."

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