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Song Parodies -> "You Nubian Crack Pipe Thief"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"You Nubian Crack Pipe Thief"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Crackheads...gotta love 'em...
"Is this your steeeel pipe?
Did you steal IT from me?"
"Bought it in Van Nuys..
It was a birthday gift just for me.
Open your you think I'd lie-homeeeeeeey?
I'm just a warlord..I need nothing for free-
Because I say my mind,where I go,
'M a little high,yes I know..
Any way I spend dough..
My wallet just gets fatter,you seeeeee...
For me....

(crackhead,reviewing his life)

"Mama..just filled my van...
Got a king size water bed-
And it's bigger than the rest...
No mooooore.....
Grimy duuusty slums...
And now I've done more coke than I can say...

(guitar confirmation)

Mama....yooou would tooooooo....
If you seen it when you're high-
My white rocks act a friend--if I do say so...
Very wrong..very wrong....
And I'm only getting better.."

(bouncy piano)

(crackhead to me)
"Dude waaaait...
My mind is gone..
Brain quivers all the time-
Didn't mean to steal your pipe..
I'm high & I'm sorry-Got nooooo more blow...
Need a dollar forty five-to get some juice...

Mamaaaa..Need vodka too...
( pay you all that I owe..)
Allllll this coke I buy...
I bum while my ride-hits up the store-- -I'll call.."

(pathetic shameful music plays-

(Mama cryin' on the porch,madness in her eyes..)

"Lyin' to me,in the ghetto-druggy man-
You are loose! You are loose!
Will you screw your own Mom?! Yo!
Got no more White Lightning-
And you stole my stash--you thief!"
(crackhead to Mama)
"If you say so-if you say so-if you want then I will go.."
(Drunk Mama)
"Yes you should go-oo-oo-oo-oo-"

"I'm just a warlord,nobody trusts me.."
"Gee,I'm still waiting...for my steel pipe you see..
Where did you hide my original piece? "

(me getting angry)
"Sleezy bum,sleezy ho-
Will you let me know?!"
"Wish-will ya?! Noooooo I will not let you know!"
"Let me knooooow!!!"
"Get real now-
Will never let you know!!!"
"Let me knooooow!!!"
"Never let you know!""
"Wish will ya!
I'll never tell ya so!"
"Tell me so!"
"Never let you know!!"
"You crack ho-
To police I'll go!!
Better tell me so!!"


"No! No! No! No! No! No!
Promise me-a,promise me-a, promise me you will not go.."
"I smeeeeeell a thug...tryin' to weasel and conive on meee-
On meee.....

(me triumphantly)
"Cause you think you're a homey-now you can just lie?!!"

(justified guitar lick)

"So you think you can thug me & I just won't mind!!??
Sooooo shadyyyy....It's-my-pipe-you-see shadyyyy..
Just gotta go now----just gotta go buy me some beer..."


Junkies gettin' fatter...
Stealin' our t.v's....
Junky's really shattered...
But I got my pipe back-
You seeeeeee...

(Get a life you crack hooooo)

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Birgitta - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(BTW-I do NOT do crack,lol)
Adagio - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Good that you added a p.s....this is very realistic, Birgitta! 5's
Jan Unwin - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
So many great lines. I really enjoy your work. 5-5-5
Guy - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
This CRACKed me up. Well done.
Birgitta - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow,thanks you guys.. :-) Though I've never done crack,I did live in a ghetto-y neighborhood for a spell,many years ago.This is a scene that can be described as normal activity
Martha - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
excellent parody
Birgitta - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Martha. :-) After reading Phil's "Venereal Crabsody" the other day,it just inspired me so much,that I sat down last night,picked my brain & wrote this one. His is EXCELLENT,Just hilarious & a lyrical masterpiece. Thx again,& you TC
Paul Wooten - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
I have GOT to find a copy and listen to this, the imagination displayed here is mind boggling. 5's only because they don't have 10's here:) Keep 'em cummin'.
Birg - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey thx Paul. :-) If you type the title "Bohemian Rhapsody" into the search area here,(under parody of course),you'll see a list of all other versions.They're side splitting. :-) It's a great on to parody...just the rhythmic flow in itself is humorous. TC : )
Agrimorfee - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Sick, but funny. WTF with the 111s, people? :O This is genius.
PTalker - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
This is the greatest parody ever!!!!!
Birg - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee,PT-thanks so much for the support & feedback. It appears a sniper's on the I'm over it. I just wanna have a good time. Glad you guys enjoyed it. Thx again. :- ) TC
Mari D - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
If I didn't say it before, welcome! This is great! The Van Nuys reference is a nice touch; I used to live and work there.
Birgitta - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Mari-thanks for the warm welcome.I love this place.Everybody's so talented around here. Yeah,the Van Nuys thing,I wanted to keep it as close to "landslide" as possible,so I racked my brain for a minute,& came up with Van Nuys. Thx again- & TC -Birg
Meriadoc - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah Van Nuys! - I think Blythe Street actually showed up in a parody somewhere, but I cannot remember who's... Good job!
Birg - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Mer. :-) I've read several parodies here,that were all about your name & who's the guy..girl,etc. If I wasn't confused before-I really am now! lol The "Merry & Pippin Rhapsody" was awesome. :-) I have a good time reading (it) them. It was after reading that,& Phil's own-that I wanted to try it. TC & thx again! :-)
alvin rhodes - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
excellent rock
Birg - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Alvin. I "rock"..I get
2nz - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Oooggg...Drempssss...Drat. Look, here's my problem: Hilarious, so that get's a 5, and excellent take on the whole song, so overall gets a 5 too. But there were enough pacing mistakes to warrant a 4 on pacing...but the lines (most of them) where you nailed the pacing were so good, you deserve at least a 5. OK, you deserve a 4 for the mistake lines and a 6 for the rest of the song's pacing, so I'll just average 'em, how's that?
Rick D - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Blythe Street was mentioned by someone, Merry. It was the worst street I ever had to work on ...
Birg - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you 2nz : )
Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
How'd I miss this one? Birgitta - Bo Rap's a tough song to parody, and this parody of yours crams in a lot of pathos and clever syllabic structure. Well done, 5's.
Birgitta - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny! :-D It almost dove me crazy,lol...- I'm taking a break from the writing for a few days,& just voting. Thx again!
Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
You're more than welcome, Birgitta, you're a thoughtful writer - I look forward to reading more of your work. And I know what it's like to need a break - I'm writing and posting at the rate of only 1 or 2 parodies a week these days - down from my previous rate of an average of 1 or 2 parodies a day!

But..... I always try to find time to log on, read, vote, and comment on other writers' work, at least once a day.....that's what being part of the Amiright community is all about - participating in the fun!
Birgitta - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thx again Johnny :-D
Rod Black - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I have a fixation to crack humour-wise. I wish I'd written this.

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