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Song Parodies -> "You Nubian Crack Pipe Thief"

Original Song Title:

"Bohemian Rhapsody"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Queen

Parody Song Title:

"You Nubian Crack Pipe Thief"

Parody Written by:

Birgitta

The Lyrics

Crackheads...gotta love 'em...
(me)
"Is this your steeeel pipe?
Did you steal IT from me?"
(crackhead)
"Bought it in Van Nuys..
It was a birthday gift just for me.
Open your eyes..do you think I'd lie-homeeeeeeey?
I'm just a warlord..I need nothing for free-
Because I say my mind,where I go,
'M a little high,yes I know..
Any way I spend dough..
My wallet just gets fatter,you seeeeee...
For me....

(crackhead,reviewing his life)

"Mama..just filled my van...
Got a king size water bed-
And it's bigger than the rest...
No mooooore.....
Grimy duuusty slums...
And now I've done more coke than I can say...

(guitar confirmation)

Mama....yooou would tooooooo....
If you seen it when you're high-
My white rocks act a friend--if I do say so...
Very wrong..very wrong....
And I'm only getting better.."

(bouncy piano)

(crackhead to me)
"Dude waaaait...
My mind is gone..
Brain quivers all the time-
Didn't mean to steal your pipe..
I'm high & I'm sorry-Got nooooo more blow...
Need a dollar forty five-to get some juice...

Mamaaaa..Need vodka too...
( pay you all that I owe..)
Allllll this coke I buy...
I bum while my ride-hits up the store-- -I'll call.."

(pathetic shameful music plays-
da-da-daaaa-da-da-da-
(da-da-da-da-da-da-da...)

(Mama cryin' on the porch,madness in her eyes..)

"Lyin' to me,in the ghetto-druggy man-
You are loose! You are loose!
Will you screw your own Mom?! Yo!
Got no more White Lightning-
And you stole my stash--you thief!"
(crackhead to Mama)
"If you say so-if you say so-if you want then I will go.."
(Drunk Mama)
"Yes you should go-oo-oo-oo-oo-"

(crackhead)
"I'm just a warlord,nobody trusts me.."
(me)
"Gee,I'm still waiting...for my steel pipe you see..
Where did you hide my original piece? "

(me getting angry)
"Sleezy bum,sleezy ho-
Will you let me know?!"
(crackhead)
"Wish-will ya?! Noooooo I will not let you know!"
"Let me knooooow!!!"
"Get real now-
Will never let you know!!!"
"Let me knooooow!!!"
"Never let you know!""
"Wish will ya!
I'll never tell ya so!"
"Tell me so!"
(Never!)
"Never let you know!!"
"You crack ho-
To police I'll go!!
Better tell me so!!"

Oooooooo....

(crackhead)
"No! No! No! No! No! No!
Promise me-a,promise me-a, promise me you will not go.."
(me,suspicious)
"I smeeeeeell a thug...tryin' to weasel and conive on meee-
On meee.....
Junkyyyyyyy!!!!!!"

(me triumphantly)
"Cause you think you're a homey-now you can just lie?!!"

(justified guitar lick)

"So you think you can thug me & I just won't mind!!??
Sooooo shadyyyy....It's-my-pipe-you-see shadyyyy..
Just gotta go now----just gotta go buy me some beer..."

(ooohh,yeah...
oohh,yeah...)

Junkies gettin' fatter...
Stealin' our t.v's....
Junky's really shattered...
But I got my pipe back-
You seeeeeee...

(Get a life you crack hooooo)

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User Comments

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Birgitta - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
(BTW-I do NOT do crack,lol)
Adagio - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Good that you added a p.s....this is very realistic, Birgitta! 5's
Jan Unwin - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
So many great lines. I really enjoy your work. 5-5-5
Guy - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
This CRACKed me up. Well done.
Birgitta - February 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow,thanks you guys.. :-) Though I've never done crack,I did live in a ghetto-y neighborhood for a spell,many years ago.This is a scene that can be described as normal activity there..lol
Martha - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
excellent parody
Birgitta - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Martha. :-) After reading Phil's "Venereal Crabsody" the other day,it just inspired me so much,that I sat down last night,picked my brain & wrote this one. His is EXCELLENT,Just hilarious & a lyrical masterpiece. Thx again,& you TC
Paul Wooten - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
I have GOT to find a copy and listen to this, the imagination displayed here is mind boggling. 5's only because they don't have 10's here:) Keep 'em cummin'.
Birg - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey thx Paul. :-) If you type the title "Bohemian Rhapsody" into the search area here,(under parody of course),you'll see a list of all other versions.They're side splitting. :-) It's a great on to parody...just the rhythmic flow in itself is humorous. TC : )
Agrimorfee - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Sick, but funny. WTF with the 111s, people? :O This is genius.
PTalker - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
This is the greatest parody ever!!!!!
Birg - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Agrimorfee,PT-thanks so much for the support & feedback. It appears a sniper's on the loose.lol I'm over it. I just wanna have a good time. Glad you guys enjoyed it. Thx again. :- ) TC
Mari D - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
If I didn't say it before, welcome! This is great! The Van Nuys reference is a nice touch; I used to live and work there.
Birgitta - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Mari-thanks for the warm welcome.I love this place.Everybody's so talented around here. Yeah,the Van Nuys thing,I wanted to keep it as close to "landslide" as possible,so I racked my brain for a minute,& came up with Van Nuys. Thx again- & TC -Birg
Meriadoc - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah Van Nuys! - I think Blythe Street actually showed up in a parody somewhere, but I cannot remember who's... Good job!
Birg - February 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Mer. :-) I've read several parodies here,that were all about your name & who's the guy..girl,etc. If I wasn't confused before-I really am now! lol The "Merry & Pippin Rhapsody" was awesome. :-) I have a good time reading (it) them. It was after reading that,& Phil's own-that I wanted to try it. TC & thx again! :-)
alvin rhodes - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
excellent work.....you rock
Birg - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Alvin. I "rock"..I get it...lol
2nz - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Oooggg...Drempssss...Drat. Look, here's my problem: Hilarious, so that get's a 5, and excellent take on the whole song, so overall gets a 5 too. But there were enough pacing mistakes to warrant a 4 on pacing...but the lines (most of them) where you nailed the pacing were so good, you deserve at least a 5. OK, you deserve a 4 for the mistake lines and a 6 for the rest of the song's pacing, so I'll just average 'em, how's that?
Rick D - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Blythe Street was mentioned by someone, Merry. It was the worst street I ever had to work on ...http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/randynewman1.shtml
Birg - February 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you 2nz : )
Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
How'd I miss this one? Birgitta - Bo Rap's a tough song to parody, and this parody of yours crams in a lot of pathos and clever syllabic structure. Well done, 5's.
Birgitta - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny! :-D It almost dove me crazy,lol...- I'm taking a break from the writing for a few days,& just voting. Thx again!
Johnny D - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment
You're more than welcome, Birgitta, you're a thoughtful writer - I look forward to reading more of your work. And I know what it's like to need a break - I'm writing and posting at the rate of only 1 or 2 parodies a week these days - down from my previous rate of an average of 1 or 2 parodies a day!

But..... I always try to find time to log on, read, vote, and comment on other writers' work, at least once a day.....that's what being part of the Amiright community is all about - participating in the fun!
Birgitta - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thx again Johnny :-D
Rod Black - December 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I have a fixation to crack humour-wise. I wish I'd written this.

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