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Song Parodies -> "Helplessly Exploding With You"

Original Song Title:

"Hopelessly Devoted to You"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Olivia Newton-John

Parody Song Title:

"Helplessly Exploding With You"

Parody Written by:

Porfle Popnecker

The Lyrics


Guess I am not your first assistant
I'm just another nervous guy
I'd rather be in 'Nam, than messing with this bomb with you

Could kick myself for volunteering
There's safer things that I could do
Than risking injury, and then quite possibly--ka-blew
Helplessly exploding with you

But now I feel kinda sick
Since this thing's begun to tick
Don't wanna be dead
Helplessly exploded with you
Honestly, I'm loaded--are you?
Helplessly exploded with you

My ass is saying "kiss me bye-bye"
My head is saying "thar she blows"
Cut the little wires, hope this bomb expires--I'm through
With helplessly exploding with you

And I've just started to mend
Since we blew up yet again
I'm over this fling
Helplessly exploding with you
As for me, I'm voting we screw
Helplessly exploding with you

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   0
 0
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 5   4
 5
 4
 

User Comments

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Patrick - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Do I detect a double entendre here, or merely a single?
Porfle Popnecker - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
I just noticed it myself, so I guess that would be a single!
Rob Arndt - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Let me rate this bomb- 5.55 secs!!! What I hate about WW2 movies is that they always show the Germans throwing the stick grenades and the cap is still on! To use the Sthg24 or 39, the German soldier would remove the bottom cap, let the porcelain ball drop, pull the cord, and then throw it (most had 7 sec delays). The earlier types also smoked when the ball was pulled to let you know the safety fuse was ignited! So many films show the stick grenade landing with the caps on! Can't they get anything right? The Germans later used egg-type grenades and then finally in 1945- Nipolit fashioned disc grenades! Interestingly, before collapse of E Germany, the NVA experimented with gas-charge stick grenades that were made of heavy plastic. You just had to pull a tab back and the launch button raised. When pushed down, it fired the grenade from the hollow stick, so no longer did you have to throw it. You just had to aim it. Backblast was minimal with the need to just wear gloves, long sleeves, and keep away from the eyes! W Germany had a gas-charge flying ballistic knife or GL for the HK G-11 experimental caseless rifles!
Porfle Popnecker - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, I definitely know more about grenades now!
Phil Alexander - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Was kind of expecting something different when I clicked the link - say, could I nick your title sub & do a suicide bomber's one? :-)
Porfle Popnecker - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Okay, but if it becomes a big hit I want a percentage!
Patrick - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Only once, in "The Untouchables", did I ever see a pull-pin grenade smoke. It was, of course, a US fragmentation grenade, copied from the French in WWI. This would have been realistic. The Russians in WWI had a very elaborate stick grenade with a metal handle and a side lever. Didn't look like you could throw it far enough to avoid getting nailed by the fragments. In WWII the Germans had a flare pistol modified to shoot small grenades. One of the cartridges available had a hollow compartment for launching propaganda leaflets. Kind of a strange way to communicate with someone only 50 meters away.
Phil Alexander - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
I thought the idea seemed familiar: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/olivianewtonjohn34.shtml ..brain not entirely well-connected, methinks :)
Porfle Popnecker - March 14, 2012 - Report this comment
No wonder it sounded like a good idea!
Rob Arndt - March 15, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick, the German pistols were the Kampfpistole, Leuchtpistole, und Sturmpistole- all in 27mm caliber, smoothbore. They fired different types of grenades that included: HE, AT, Smoke, Para-illuminating, and Leaflet (2oz of leaflets to 500m range). Mostly used on the Eastern Front. The Kriegsmarine had its own version. Germans also used various rifle grenades and the 3kg Heft Hohladung magnetc grenade. Out of fear of being copied, German tanks were fitted in the latter years with Zimmerit anti-magnetic paste. A waste of time since no Allied or Soviet Army developed a rival! There Porfle, now you know a lot more about German grenades ;-D

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