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Song Parodies -> "Almost Nuked North Carolina"

Original Song Title:

"Sweet Home Alabama"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Lynyrd Skynyrd

Parody Song Title:

"Almost Nuked North Carolina"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

January 24, 1962 a Broken Arrow scenario over North Carolina. A B-52 comes apart in the air loosing two nuclear bombs. The crew mostly ejects, but three men die (2 in the plane). One nuke lands in swampland and the other in a tree. The core is removed from the former and the latter is fully recovered. However, upon examination, three of the four safety switches failed. Had the last one failed, North Carolina would have experienced a nuclear detonation!
The bomber kept on flying
Loosed both nuclear weapons
Twelve miles from nearby Goldsboro
A "Broken Arrow" once again
Think what might have been...

It was a B-52 bomber
Pieces of her falling down
Both nukes dropped together
Could have been twin mushroom clouds
anyhow;

Almost nuked North Carolina
Yes, it's strange, but true
Almost nuked North Carolina
Lord, we owe YOU a big THANK YOU!!!

Imagine the flash and thunder (BOOM! BOOM!)
And those clouds of doom
Temp in thousands of degrees
All the life they could consume
It's the truth

Almost nuked North Carolina
Yes, it's strange, but true
Almost nuked North Carolina
Lord, we owe YOU a big THANK YOU!!!
God Bless North Carolina

One nuke landed in swampland waters
But at least the core had been removed
Second one looked untouched
A single failsafe switch prevented doom
3MT BOOM!!!

Almost nuked North Carolina
Yes, it's strange, but true
Almost nuked North Carolina
Lord, we owe YOU a big THANK YOU!!!

Almost nuked North Carolina
Yes, it's strange, but true
Almost nuked North Carolina
Lord, we owe YOU a big THANK YOU!!!
Lord, oh Lord
Protect our bombers and our nukes
Yes, YOU saved us from disaster!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Patrick - December 04, 2017 - Report this comment
I remember when a nuke or two was dropped off the coast of Spain. The search was a major news story for weeks. It's amazing we haven't had an accidental detonation with all those things flying around. Scary scenario.
Rob Arndt - December 04, 2017 - Report this comment
The total number of "incidents" is believed to be around 100 with 50 nukes not recovered. Most are in the world's seas! Hard to believe...
Sexy Pistol '66 - December 04, 2017 - Report this comment
I read about a lost H-bomb off the coast of Spain in 1966. It was never recovered and search attempts were supposedly secret because Spain at the time had a totalitarian fascist regime and the US didn't want to piss off El Bastardo Francisco Franco.
The Spain Incident - December 05, 2017 - Report this comment
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/h-bomb-lost-in-spain
Patrick - December 07, 2017 - Report this comment
I wonder how long it takes for the ocean to deactivate one of those missing bombs. If it does. Does ISIS have scuba gear?
Rob Arndt - December 07, 2017 - Report this comment
Depends on the depth/pressure. Btw, ever heard of this disaster?: An A-4E Skyhawk attack aircraft carrying a 1-megaton thermonuclear weapon (hydrogen bomb) rolled off the deck of the U.S.S. Ticonderoga and fell into the Pacific Ocean. The plane and weapon sank in 16,000 feet of water and were never found. Mind boggling. Worst single loss is a Soviet Sub from 1986. A Red boomer with 2 nuclear reactors plus 32 nuclear warheads!

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