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Song Parodies -> "Andy, Was A Fine Cop (Mayberry, R.I.P.)"

Original Song Title:

"Brandy (You're A Fine Girl)"

Original Performer:

Looking Glass

Parody Song Title:

"Andy, Was A Fine Cop (Mayberry, R.I.P.)"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Ahhh...well here we are in 2004. Times have sure changed, haven't they? Remember back when many people had the same job for pretty much their whole lives? Especially in little, out-of-the way small towns...Like, for example...oh...Mayberry...
(dude, this get's gruesome), (sure does get gruesome)

Down in a little southern town
Andy Taylor is the Sheriff now
His Deputy is just a clown
His name is Barney Fife

The Mayor called Andy on the phone
And he told him in a somber tone
"I must see you, but come alone
Don't let this get around"

And the Mayor said, "Andy, you're a fine cop (you're a fine cop)
You've been good for Mayberry (such a fine cop)
But that Fife cannot remain as Deputy"
(gonna get gruesome), (It will get gruesome, yeah)

Well, Andy, he was blown away
What the Mayor said gave him deep dismay
He loved his job, so he would stay
But how would he tell Fife?

He thought about what he would say
How could he send his friend away?
He'd make it plain, he would explain
"Barney, you 'll have to go"

And so Andy said, "Barney, you're a bad cop (such a bad cop)
You are not much help to me (such a poor cop)
If you really think about it, you'll agree"
(ooh, you're a screw-up), (yes, you're just screwed up)

Then Andy looked in Barney's eyes
And he told him not to worry
"I'm sure you will find something else
And you know I'm very sorry
But now it's time to face the truth, Barney, you aren't the right man"
Would Andy's son, Opie, understand?
(why did you do that, dad?), (why did you do that?)

That night Barney was feeling down
He went out and took a walk downtown
"These bastards think I'm just a clown
They don't want me around"

And so Barney went home and got his shotgun (got his shotgun)
"They will pay for dissin' me" (dissin' me)
Then he mowed down everybody he could see
(It's getting gruesome), (sure does get gruesome)

Barney, he sure went nuts (really went nuts)

He's in jail and he can't leave (he's confined, sure)
He's now known as inmate number 803
(di-di-di-di-di), (di-di-di-di-di-di)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

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Johnny D - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
That's a fine song
What a first-class parody
Yeah your writes
Appeal so they earn
Five times three
Royce Miller - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
I like the originality
alvin rhodes - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
this is the best one i read absolute masterpiece !
Meriadoc - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Just picturing Barney Fife saying "dissin'" is hilarious enough...
Paul Robinson - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D, Royce, Alvin and Meriadoc. Many thanks! I think I was inspired by all the great entries in the Tournament...
Jack Wilson - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! 5's!
Paul Robinson - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Jack W - thanks!
Claude Prez - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
So did he carry the shotgun shells in his shirt pocket? Great job Paul.
Paul Robinson - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Claude - gee, I hadn't thought THAT part of it through...Just WHERE would Downsized & Dissed Deputy Barney Fife carry his shotguns shells? You know, he'd probably LET AUNT BEE sew a shotgun shell pouch onto his belt. "Oh, Barney, why in heavens name do you need a shotgun shell pouch sewed on your belt?" "Shut up and keep sewing, bitch." Maybe an extra verse for an extended version of your hilarious parody from a few months back?
Melhi - March 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Love this! Great job.
Guy - March 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't know, maybe it's me but I didn't find it all that funny. Did I miss something? Pace was excellent. 5,4,4.
Paul Robinson - March 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy, "Funny" is also an "eye of the beholder" type of thing. I think the root of the "humor" here is how out-of-character it would be for such a lovable, harmless screw-up like Barney to even consider such an awful thing. Based on how clumsy, incompetent and inept his character is whenever he is confronted with a Law-Enforcement situaton that goes beyond striking an officious pose it doesn't seem likely he would be able to even load the shotgun and get it out the front door.
mac - March 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Well Barney waited paitiently... in jail for two months, maybe three... then busted out by good Aunt Bee... And they're off to Mexico... And ole Barney says Aunt Bee, you're a fine girl (such a fine girl) what a good wife you would be... but you're old, you're big, yeah you weigh far more than me (do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do)
Paul Robinson - March 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Mac --'re almost as sick as me! HEY...The NEW CRIME DUO: "BARNEY & CLYDESDALE"...THANKS!!
Rice Cube - April 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Too bad the tune didn't allow you to incorporate the whistle-y theme.
Peregrin - April 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice one, Paul
Rick D - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
This one time, at band camp, one of the songwriters was playing his song about the joys of a small town. Around the second chorus, Mari started whistling the "Andy" theme, for she somehow sensed it would fit in and harmonize perfectly. The writer didn't hear it, but the people sitting next to us got a big kick. A few years later, I wrote a set of piano variations on that theme, which is too hard for me to play.
wdh - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice one! Story parodies are always fun for me to read
Paul Robinson - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Rice Cube - Ooohh, I FORGOT all about the "whistle-y" theme that intro'd and ended the show! Hmmm...COULD have had Barney whistling a slow, off-key, creepy version of it either just before pulling the trigger or while sitting in his jail cell later. OR, I could have had Barney's CELL BUNK-MATE whistling it with a "playful, seductive" bent to it as he approaches Barney after "lights out" at the big house. Per - thanks! Rick, you mean Mari connected these two songs also at some point? That's interesting. Thinking back I think I decided to try and use the Original Song to write a parody to and THEN almost immediately zeroed in on "Andy" and well-over half of it just flowed out right away. The only problem I had was that I had a number of different places I could have tried to take this one and I thought they were all at least pretty good, but I didn't want to waste this song for a "pretty-good" parody, so I held back a while until after I got my PC at home. whd -thanks, me too?
John Jenkins - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
A few of the rhymes were a little bit off; but I agree with wdh about story parodies. You did a very good job of developing the plot here.
Paul Robinson - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
John J - Thanks!
Guy - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul - Good luck in the "A" round of the ABC competition. I can appreciate the humor a bit better now that the point to this parody was explained to me. Sorry that this went over my head on the first shot.
martha - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
this was very clever and funny .. I am not familiar with the subject though...
neminem - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't really feel competent to rate this parody, given that I have no idea what show/movie/whatever? this came from. Sorry.
Paul Robinson - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Guy, no problem, thanks for the 2nd look. I think we all occasionally miss the point on some - I don't expect everyone's to be in sync with mine, they'd have to be crazy! Martha & neminem - thanks for the reads, you are both allowed to not know anything about the "Andy Griffith Show", which I think ran on American Television from somewhere in the early-to-mid 1960's until sometime in the 70's (I'm guessing). It's still on in syndication, I believe but I haven't watched an episode in many years.
2nz - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Top quality work here, Paul. Don't know the characters, so I went and asked some people until I had a good idea. Great pacing, and a fun and original parody.
Paul Robinson - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
2nz - Thanks! Wow, I really feel old now, I thought almost everybody from the U.S. would at least have some acquaintance with the "Andy Griffith Show"! - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, P-Rob. I look forward to the sequel where he mows down the Three's Company cast.
Paul Robinson - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Spaff - Ooh, that's right! I forgot Don Knotts was on that one. "Mr. Furley", right?
Linda - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
V ery fun parody, great song choice for a great subject. I wondered what would happen in the end the whole way though. 555's SEE? You were wrong about me!
Paul Robinson - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, then I apologize for that, Linda. OK...maybe we can make nice...or at least try...I'm game...gonna try to stay away from your political pieces (don't know if you write any other type as of yet), but no tend to use pretty provocative language.

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