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Song Parodies -> "Annie Hammond Peas"
Original Song Title:
"Bette Davis Eyes"
Original Performer:
Jackie DeShannon / Kim Carnes
Parody Song Title:
"Annie Hammond Peas"
Parody Written by:
Tommy Turtle
The Lyrics
Inspired by Ann Hammond's "Pea Eyed Black" and many others -- check them out by clicking the links. And, uh, Ann -- sorry for tweaking the name to the OS -- hope that was OK. OS lyrics here.
She finds the soup obscene
It's complete surprise
She doesn't like 'em green
Annie Hammond's peas: black eyes
She tells the waiter, "No dice
"I'd like a new bowl, please"
"To go with gumbo rice"
Black-eyed: Annie Hammond's peas
She's on fire --
Full of ire --
Mom nags, "Put Bounce™ in the dryer"
She's bleeeeahocious
And she thinks Walt Disney's "Small World"™ is atrocious
She wants snappy service: Lamb of Rack
Annie Hammond's peas are black
She hates s*** in her yard
She gets it on her shoe
Despises leather marred:
"Cowpeas", not "cowpies, P U!"
"Ick-ity -Yuckity-Euw!
Salad bar: not a fan
Only one food will do:
Black-eyed peas for Hammond, Ann
And she'll scold you
But uphold you
In the trib-ute in which she scrolled you
Garden: Ants reigned
And we wonder what she did to get her pants stained
"AmIRight: Wonderful Site"
Watch as Annie Hammond peas!
She writes farce-ly
"Cloves of parsley"
And I'm laughing off my arse-ly
Her mind's fertile
And she knows just what it takes to blush a Turtle
"Syl-la-bly" paces with ease
I love how Ann Hammond peas!
Gas station
Irritation:
Sanitation
Like a Penguin, Annie pees
Roaches bug her
But I plug her
And hug her
Ann and I in pod, like peas!
It's complete surprise
She doesn't like 'em green
Annie Hammond's peas: black eyes
She tells the waiter, "No dice
"I'd like a new bowl, please"
"To go with gumbo rice"
Black-eyed: Annie Hammond's peas
She's on fire --
Full of ire --
Mom nags, "Put Bounce™ in the dryer"
She's bleeeeahocious
And she thinks Walt Disney's "Small World"™ is atrocious
She wants snappy service: Lamb of Rack
Annie Hammond's peas are black
She hates s*** in her yard
She gets it on her shoe
Despises leather marred:
"Cowpeas", not "cowpies, P U!"
"Ick-ity -Yuckity-Euw!
Salad bar: not a fan
Only one food will do:
Black-eyed peas for Hammond, Ann
And she'll scold you
But uphold you
In the trib-ute in which she scrolled you
Garden: Ants reigned
And we wonder what she did to get her pants stained
"AmIRight: Wonderful Site"
Watch as Annie Hammond peas!
She writes farce-ly
"Cloves of parsley"
And I'm laughing off my arse-ly
Her mind's fertile
And she knows just what it takes to blush a Turtle
"Syl-la-bly" paces with ease
I love how Ann Hammond peas!
Gas station
Irritation:
Sanitation
Like a Penguin, Annie pees
Roaches bug her
But I plug her
And hug her
Ann and I in pod, like peas!
All Ann Hammond songs linked, excerpted, or referenced © Ann Hammond. "It's A Small World After All" ® The Walt Disney Company. Bounce ® Procter and Gamble. All else © 2007 Tommy Turtle.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 7 | 7 | 7 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
yep, count me in as an ann fan
You even got links to my parodies. You ever had a time where you felt saying thank you wasn't enough?
A paean to "Pea"in' and others--nice job.
Another fine tribute from the King of Tributes. "And I'm laughing off my arse-ly", "I love how Ann Hammond peas!"; lol.
alvin rhodes, thanks.
Ann Hammond: Yes, and reading "What A Wonderful Site" yesterday was one of them.
John Barry, thaeanks much :)
Red Ant: Thanks... WTF you been?? :-) :-)
Ann Hammond: Yes, and reading "What A Wonderful Site" yesterday was one of them.
John Barry, thaeanks much :)
Red Ant: Thanks... WTF you been?? :-) :-)
Terrific, Annie Annie, well, looks like I don't have to surprise you, turtle beat me to it.
Uh oh! Competition. Hee hee.
Below Average Dave, thanks.
Meriadoc, thanks... Competition for what? ;-)
Meriadoc, thanks... Competition for what? ;-)
I've been around a bit, mostly editing. The "real" world has cut into my time here, but I hope that is temporary.
As we have had fun in the past discussing grammar (usually you teaching me), I must inform you that "WTF you been??" is grammatically incorrect for several reasons: 1) WTF is "what the f***", not "where the f***". 2) even if the W meant "where", the sentence is only correct as "WTF have you been??" 3) Using two question marks is redundant. =)
All in good fun, TT, and if you used "WTF U BIN, D00D??!?!??!" in a chatroom, everyone would know about what you are talking (oops, I mean "what you are talking about" ;)). You have to do better in learning chatroom grammar. =)
On an aside, my last parody was set to this OS. I'm not going to plug it since this is a tribute to Ann: you know how to find it if you're so inclined.
As we have had fun in the past discussing grammar (usually you teaching me), I must inform you that "WTF you been??" is grammatically incorrect for several reasons: 1) WTF is "what the f***", not "where the f***". 2) even if the W meant "where", the sentence is only correct as "WTF have you been??" 3) Using two question marks is redundant. =)
All in good fun, TT, and if you used "WTF U BIN, D00D??!?!??!" in a chatroom, everyone would know about what you are talking (oops, I mean "what you are talking about" ;)). You have to do better in learning chatroom grammar. =)
On an aside, my last parody was set to this OS. I'm not going to plug it since this is a tribute to Ann: you know how to find it if you're so inclined.
Red Ant: Thanks for the lesson in human chatroom grammar. In undersea rooms, "W" is any of the Dubyas learned in journalism class (not that Dubya; he wasn't even born then lol): Who, What, When , Where, Why, Whow. And "F", in this sentence, stands for the famous Russian lexicologist, Fakkav. So the complete translation is "Where the Fakkav you been??"
Truth: All four of your comments are 100% correct (the three numbered ones and the "about what ...)"; the ellipsis of "have" was a deliberate solecism; I thought, "Ahh, he'll never notice; and you have no idea how proud I am that you did :) :) :)
Truth: All four of your comments are 100% correct (the three numbered ones and the "about what ...)"; the ellipsis of "have" was a deliberate solecism; I thought, "Ahh, he'll never notice; and you have no idea how proud I am that you did :) :) :)
What a nice tribute to Ann. Fives.
Susanna Viljanen, thanks.
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