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Song Parodies -> "The Turd Of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck Of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"The Turd Of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

The legend lives down from the toilet on down
Of the big shit dropped beneath his knees
The turd, it is said, was as brown as chocolate
When the pipes of the toilet went cloggy
With a load of feces more than a dog eats and stores
Then ol' Edmund Fitzgerald pooped godly
That good shit was true and clogged sewers all through
When the pipes of his toilet clogged early

His shit was inside for weeks at a time
Long and black like an eel in ocean
As the big floaters go, it was bigger than most
With ExLax and Pepto-Besmo well seasoned
It came through his ass like a melon in glass
And stained his butt and his dog Stephen
And later that night when the crickets did fight
Could it be a good shit he'd been feeling?

The shit on the seat made his butt feel round
And he stretched his spintcher like a railing
And every man knew, as the Fitzgerald did too,
T'was the pipes of the sewer came braking
The dawn came late and the breakfast had to wait
When the feces of Fitzgerald came splashing
When afternoon came the crap touched his colon
In the face of a toilet paper crisis

When suppertime came, he flushed his shit away
"Fellas, it's too rough to breed ya."
At Seven P.M. the main pipe ways caved in, he said
"Fellas, I don't wanna leave ya"
The crap did fire in with the water coming in
And this furniture was in peril
And the big turds weren't right when a long one was in sight
Was the turd of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Does any one know where the huge feces go
When the pipes turn the cloggers to floaters?
The caca they say made his spincher sore today
And the flies made his house their house too
When his feces split up or made his house capsize;
His house was full of crap and toilet water
And all that remains is the feces and the rains
Of the man that they call Fitzgerald

Ass clusters roll, Shit pies and turds sling
In the rooms of his ass ridden mansion
Some piss and dung streams flood like a rain water dream
His ass made and stretched out misfortune
And farther below the toilet stands still
Caked in shit and piss with brown tender,
And his iron floats by in the lake of Pissfly
With the clogging of the sewer remembered

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed,
In the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral.
The church bell chimed till it rang twenty-nine times
For each foot laid by Edmund Fitzgerald.
The legend lives down from the toilet on down
Of the big shit dropped beneath his knees
The turd, it is said, was as brown as chocolate
When the pipes of the toilet went cloggy

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   3
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Morality - April 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Jason - April 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I agree with Morality here. This is getting tiresome, no-one likes these at all and they aren't even funny. Do us all a favour and STOP WRITING DISGUSTING PARODIES.
TJC - April 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Logorrhea maximus! (emphasis on the -rrhea!). You've proven your chops in this sub-sub-genre... maybe its time to branch out, you know, explore realms beyond the main septic line...?
Somebody - April 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I agree with Jason and Morality. These songs are disgusting and humorless unless you are a little kid. I don't like getting vomit stuck in my keyboard, so stop the grossness.
crapbastard - April 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Keep the crap flowin' You know what you're doin' There will never be enough poo songs.
malcolm higgins - April 21, 2007 - Report this comment
this was crap .. 3-3-3
Michael Pacholek - April 23, 2007 - Report this comment
It wouldn't be an official "Edmund Fitzgerald" parody if I didn't at least comment. That's why I'm walking away now.
Bernard Pacholek - April 23, 2007 - Report this comment
I hate the original song. And I hate this one, too! The only good thing I can say about it is that you paced all 14 verses well. Other than that, it stinks! Then again, you'd probably take that as a compliment! There, little brother: Now you don't HAVE to comment!
Jonathan S. - April 23, 2007 - Report this comment
Write about something different, moron. (I had a nastier comment in mind, but I'll save it for the next time you send in one of your forgettable atrocities.)
An Ignorant Piece Of Rancid Codfish - April 24, 2007 - Report this comment
I gots nothing to say.
Andrea Huckstep - May 15, 2007 - Report this comment
cowboyj - June 09, 2013 - Report this comment
This is one of the most despicable pieces of trash I have ever read. Insulting to the 29 men who died on the Fitzgerald and their families. You have no talent for comedy and should just stick to what you are best at, being a bore!
Patrick - June 10, 2013 - Report this comment
As one who has written a lot of parodies about the Fitzgerald tragedy, and a few to the Gordon Lightfoot song, I hope that no one has found my songs disrespectful to the men or their survivors. I could call this effort a "piece of sh*t", but that is what the author intended it to be. I recall there was a lot of scatalogical material during the first years I was on the site. Now there seems to be a dearth of first and second tier writers on any subject. Glad I missed this one in '07. Sort of wish I hadn't found it now.

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