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Song Parodies -> "Wastrel From The Mall"

Original Song Title:

"Minstrel of the Dawn"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"Wastrel From The Mall"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Well, I hope this has never happened to any of you guys out there. I know a few folks who have experienced it and it did not make their state of mind very pleasant. For the original song lyrics (and guitar chords) see link in bottom comments.
The wastrel from the mall appears
to boink your wife and drink your beers
In your bed you'll find his spunk
You'd really like to bust that punk
Where'd that CD player go?
I guess you're really pretty sure you know
Looking for your things
You'll strangle that bastard
If he took your bling-bling

The wastrel always pawns your stuff
For pennies on the buck; not much
He'll charm your wife right into bed
You caught her once giving him h**d
He wore this smirk upon his face
The smart-ass said, "So how does my sp*rm taste?"
Pissed me off, it's true
He has a way of saying things
That do that to you

(Instrumental break)

The wastrel does not try to hide
How much he likes to hurt your pride
You're sitting in your favorite chair
And find some of his pubic hair
Now your anger starts to grow
Can't anymore abide this status quo
Now you see he drinks
The best stuff in your booze-bar
Boy, that really stinks

Your son said on your lawn he crapped
Then wiped his butt with your best hat
He treats your wife just like a whore
Tells lies about her you deplore
Disgusted by his freaking lies
He disrespects your wishes, then acts wise
One annoying dude
His whole demeanor ticks you off
It's just so damned rude

You'd like to grab him with your mitts
And wring his neck 'till he admits
All of his nasty, thoughtless deeds
His cries for mercy; hopes you'll heed
Listen to his bullshit flow
"I'm sorry now for the things I've done, you know"
Listen to him whine
Then drop-kick that scum-bag
And tell him he's slime

Now finally, the wastrel's left
Won't be around no more, I'd guess
You found something he would respect
The weight of your boot on his neck
It look like he's long gone
That asshole sure had gall

For original song lyrics and guitar chords:

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Neck Mother - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny stuff .5-5-5
Paul Robinson - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
RN Mother - Thank you most kindly!
Adagio - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, Paul! 5's
alvin rhodes - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
dktos....but i did my homework...nice job, as usual
... - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I dont know the original either... but I vote all 5s anyway.
Paul Robinson - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Adagio, Alvin & ...? - Thank you. I was working on another Lightfoot song from the same album after this one, was looking pretty promising and then my brain went into full warp drive or something and next thing I know I'm looking at something I wouldn't dare try to post here. It was SO thoroughly rank. Have to take another look at it later tonight or tomorrow maybe and see if I can scrub it up a little bit and get it presentable enough to go out in public.
Ellipsis - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
You're welcome. Next time you see a comment from me, you can spell out my name.
Paul Robinson - April 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Ellipsis, Thanks, I'll try to keep that in mind...
Jack Wilson - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job! 555!
Paul Robinson - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Jack W - thank you, Jack.

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